After finding the kid again, convincing him I wasn't a creep, then convincing him to go to the Great Lake with low expectations, and then becoming a babysitter for a few months as repayment, I went to the roof and decided to just... call it a night.

It hadn't been a good afternoon in general, and as I heard the people inside the building shouting the countdown towards Christmas Day like mindless sheep following a symbol, I found myself remembering the events of today.

... none of it was worth it.

I let out a sigh and fell back onto the rooftop, staring up at the starry sky. I briefly wondered how exactly they were made in a place like this, but I wasn't in the mood for thinking. I was too preoccupied replaying the previous scene in my head.

I had found my way to the main area again and successfully scouted out the kid in a few minutes, wasting no time to run over.

He looked like a nice guy from afar so I wasn't exactly scared of being embarrassed, and that made things easier.

“Hey, kid. I have to ask a favor of you, okay?” I remember saying, which gave me a weird glance from him. He seemed to recognize me after a few seconds because after staring in confusion a moment he laughed.

“Sure, what is it? It better not be to teach you some dance moves,” he joked, automatically making me hate him.

“That girl that was with me just now, you saw her, didn't you?”

He gave a quick nod. “It was Antoinette, I think. Are you two friends?”

“Yeah, we are,” I said, much more defiant than I expected to be. “And listen, she wants to see you. Do me a solid from man to man and go to the Great Lake to talk to her, would you?” And it was only after I said that that I realized I really should've planned something else in advance, because now I just sounded like a jerk.

He looked at me perplexed, looked back to his friends who urged him to roll with it, and then back to me.

“Uh... no, I mean, why? We don't really talak much during our shifts together - we do that, sometimes. Besides she's always been sort of... you know, aggressive. She looked ready to bite someone's head off. Hey, she's not a cannibal, is she?” he had asked me, but there was a joking smile on his face, reminding me of a buffoon.

Still, by his words I realized that he wasn't planning on going. And that would mean that I would be going back on my promise and by extent going back on Antoinette. I knew that I had to make it count, so I decided to simply speak without thinking, because that usually worked well.

“She's not a cannibal. Yes, she'd be willing to bite someone, but that's only if they deserve it. Honestly, it looks like you've got a dead wrong impression of her.” I took a pause and saw the face of mild surprise he wore.

So I continued.

“I get she might be a little hot-headed sometimes and can be pretty blunt, but personally... it's part of what makes her so great to be around. She's certain of who she is, and sure there's a prickly exterior to her, but underneath that I'd found someone with a big heart, and determined to go through with what she thinks is right even if no one would support it. Not to mention she's selfless - I mean she takes care of kids, so she's already a much better person than I could ever hope to be.”

I took a deep breath.

And once I had finished, I realized my neck was a lot warmer than what it usually was. Not only that, but I also had realized something else. Something that I wouldn't come to think about until much later that night.

He looked at me strangely a moment or two, and then finally nodded.

“Alright, alright, I'll go see Antoinette. The Great Lake, right? I'll go.” But just when I thought the ordeal was over he raised a finger at me. “If, and only if, you take my place tomorrow taking care of the younger kids, babysitting them.”

Now, normally I would have denied this before he'd even finished the thought, but this wasn't my ass on the line this time, and that was neither here nor there. I begrudgingly accepted and after I added a few words of caution (“Note that she does have the potential to break your arm if you piss her off”), he disappeared.

His friends instantly moved towards me in what I assumed was an attempt of friendship. I didn't blame them, since it would be awkward if they just left after all that, but that's exactly what I did. I had more pressing matters.

Like lying down alone on the roof, thinking about Antoinette. More specifically the things I said about her.

They were honest words, in the end. I let myself speak without thinking and, in the end, I said what I really thought. What I now came to realize was what horrified me as much as it filled me with a strange warmth.

I liked Antoinette. More, it irked me to admit, than I thought.

The very thought brought a frown to my face.
I hoped, as I lay down on the roof, that it wasn't anything serious. If I was lucky, it would pass, but for the time being I had nothing but my thoughts which I decided to entertain as I let the time pass and the stars slowly move above in the sky.

It... bothered me. A lot. Why would I even like her of all people? Maybe it's the fact that I haven't really bothered to talk with that much people in the months I've been here, or just how Antoinette is. Maybe because we've been living together for a while? Or how I've seen her sensitive side, how I have fun with her, how I admire the fact she wasn't afraid to be herself... Under regular circumstances, at least, tonight was an exception. Thinking about how she would willingly change who she was just to impress some guy... made me feel incredibly frustrated.

What I said back then to the kid she wanted to talk to, I realized that I really did mean the things I said. She's not particularly friendly from what I've seen, but she's honest, and...

...no one really appreciated that.

It elicited a groan from me. It felt unfair that her chances were usually shredded. It made me want to try harder to treat her... right, like she doesn't need to pretend, like I can show her that she hasn't lost her chance with everyone.

Because I felt safer around her. Like my problems just vanish, and the thoughts and concerns of Paradise just... don't matter as much.

Now that I know she's with someone else, probably having the time of their lives for all I know, I'm reminded of how lonely I actually am. I haven't made any actual friends in here, and now that the rest of 1-A is occupied, I can't even rely on Antoinette to pass the time.

It made me realize just how much I took her company for granted.

I heard a clock strike 12, and noticed it's from my watch. Must've been because it's a special occasion but I decided to ignore it anyway. It's not particularly something I want to think about right now.

Still, this meant it was officially Christmas Eve now, didn't it? December the 24th.

Christmas... I couldn't even get sad about it because I didn't remember a thing from when I could actually celebrate it.

To top it all off there was a dreading feeling of emptiness that started to grow on me. I felt as though I'd just lost the chance for something wonderful... I wondered if it was worth it, at least, to make her happy. Even if it meant spending Christmas Night by myself.

I sighed and closed my eyes again, choosing not to look at the stars anymore.

They had started shining too bright.

“This sucks...” I muttered, submerged into the silence of the roof, only interrupted by the sounds of the party downstairs and my noisy thoughts.

“What a thing to say in such an exquisite party.”

The sudden voice shook me from my thoughts (bless) and I find myself looking around quickly to see where it came from.

And there I was able to see a, surprisingly, familiar face.

Anya walked towards me, dressing a classy, yet somewhat revealing dress and with golden streaks in her hair, something I found even more surprising. I didn't answer, so she continued.

“What are you doing out here? The party is inside, silly. Though I can't force you, you don't seem like much for parties to begin with.”

Did I really give off that vibe? I'd never given it much thought but I suppose I did. I exhaled out of my nose.

“I have nothing to do in there, and everyone else is busy. What do you want?” I said, much sharper than I anticipated.

“My, you certainly haven't lost your bite” She smiled and sat at my side. “I wanted a bit of air, unless there's something wrong with that?”

Her voice carried a different tone to it tonight, one that made me wary. It sounded friendly.

“Nothing wrong with that,” I said. “But unfortunately for you I'm up here, and I don't plan on leaving.”

“Why should that be a problem?”

Her unexpected question caught me off guard. I tried to discern her expression through the dim light, but it continued to evade me.

I proceeded with caution.

“...I thought you had a grudge against me.”

“It's Christmas, the time of forgiveness” A faint smile crossed her face. “And I would never keep a grudge — under normal circumstances,” she added hastily. “That aside, I'd say our relationship is a bit too unique to let it be ruined by a traitorous sister.”

Despite her sweet tone, a poison tip threaded through her words.

I didn't try to comment on it. At the moment, Kristina wasn't exactly high on my list of favourite people either, not after that stunt they pulled, so for the first time I found a bit of reason in what Anya said. It made me feel a little at ease as much as it did discomfort exactly because it was Anya.

I pushed the conflicting emotions away from my head and looked forward again.

People had started to move outside, so the area surrounding the building slowly but surely filled with people as music reached our ears.

“Unique,” I repeated, letting the strange word linger in the air. I'd certainly felt that our conversations always had something hidden underneath, so knowing she thought the same relieved the thought that I was just weird. Still, I wasn't sure I liked where this was going. I stayed on guard. “Wasn't that only because we constantly argued?”

“Wouldn't you say there's something exciting about conflict?”

I grimaced, and Anya caught look of my face, she continued.

“Now don't get me wrong, I'm not like Dean. That is, I wouldn't go out of my way to set the world on fire.”

The very fact she felt the need to clarify that was suspicious, and I let her know as much.

“You mean you wouldn't want to be blamed for it,” I said dryly.

She only laughed.

“Perhaps, but isn't it better that way?” A wistful smile crossed her lips. “I'd rather stay out of conflict, but it becomes so dreadfully boring when everyone will agree to everything you say.”

Ironically enough I had to agree.

“So, what, you got off from our arguments?”

She blushed, but not in a good way.

“Sebastian, you truly need to learn tact.”

“But you're not denying it,” I pointed out nonchalantly.

I smiled triumphantly, knowing there was no way for her to answer and keep her dignity.

She surprised me by returning my smile with one of her own and saying:

“I must say, I'm not entirely surprised that such a thought would come to your head.”

It didn't matter how the rest of the conversation would go, I'd already lost.

I put on my best scowl, but it was more for show than anything. She winked back at me and continued.

“See, you're unlike the other men in my life. Dean, for example,” she said with a flourish of her hand, “He's not one to go against the flow, he's but an observer. Bernard — our roommate, you know — has an awful temper but is oh so submissive when I ask something of him. I suspect it's because he wants to look gentlemanly in front of Elora.”

I didn't know who those people were. Did she just assume I did?

“You, on the other hand. It's rather exciting to have someone oppose me. I've always gotten what I wanted with a wave of my hand, it's a refreshing change of pace to meet someone like yourself.”

Not everything, I thought, but chose to bite my tongue when I remembered how she roped me into the race fiasco.

I said nothing, unsure on what to. She was like a different person now, though maybe the first impression I got of her had been the wrong one. Either way, she seemed much more amiable now.
“I see what you mean,” I said, speaking without thinking about it too hard. “Not exactly, but I can understand wanting a change of pace. Sometimes people are just too much.”

“I noticed.”

Something in the way she said that sent a chill up my spine. I glanced warily, and to that she responded.

“Excellent work on the dance floor.”

I felt frustrated and embarrassed.

“That—!”

Before I was able to protest, she shushed me by placing a finger over my lips.

“It was my sister, wasn't it? She and her irritable girlfriend, I'm sure.” Her finger dropped down, but she didn't move away. “You didn't seem very happy about that.”

I was the one to move away first. Whether this was an elaborate ruse or a genuine outreach confused me.

“I'm still not,” I said, and it was true. At the very least I didn't have to worry about seeming like a bad person in front of her for saying this, and continued with that thought in mind. “I never realized just how extra they were. They can be surprisingly inconsiderate.”

She chuckled and nodded.

“Indeed they are.” I heard an odd sort of sympathy in her words, as though we were both victims of a terrible abuse. Part of me felt she was holding back. Just what was she hiding from me? I didn't blame her, we hardly knew each other, but the fact of not knowing annoyed me more than I'd care to admit.

I wanted to know.

Anya, like Antoinette, hid more than what met the eye, I was sure of that.

The brief silence hanging between us felt comfortable in a way I hadn't felt before, like there'd been an unspoken agreement, even discounting the obvious.

Anya spoke again, having turned to face me entirely.

“Do you enjoy sitting up here alone on the roof?”

I hesitated a moment.

“... Yeah, why?”

She hummed in thought.

“You'll always be welcome in 26-B, you know.” A delicate smile crossed her features. “I'd simply adore having you over, as long as you don't bring any of your roommates over.”

This face of hers hadn't been one I'd seen before: it was a genuine invitation. I felt taken back.
She took my silence and suspicious glare as sufficient answer and leaned forward to kiss my cheek before getting up.

“Always a pleasure speaking with you, Sebastian, but I must be going now or Dean will have my head. Do treat yourself.”

I sat frozen in place with a heavy blush covering my face, somehow feeling insulted and flattered at the same time. Anya waved once more, and I regained conscience of myself to narrow my eyes and ask:

“What exactly are you trying to do here, Anya?”

But one smile later, and she was gone.