The beach bustles with people when I arrive, families sitting on their towels and kids in the water with their parents. The waves aren't strong enough to look intimidating.

I spot out of the corner of my eye a family of five, walking away from the crowd and heading to a more secluded area. I'm not surprised, I would move away with this many people too, but something else makes me decide to follow them.

They eventually reach a quiet part of the beach, hidden away by large rocks that form a small natural pool where there aren't waves and the water is shallow. When the family reaches this spot, away from everybody else, I get a better look at them. I can recognize the woman, man, and the boy from the dream... from when I died, but the other two weren't there. They feel familiar, though.

I move closer, past the three I can recognize, and watch the other two that are entering the water. The one I assume is the eldest (with maybe 7 years old?) is guiding the smaller one to make sure he doesn't trip, which is smart considering the smallest one looks to be about 2.

My eyes focus on the eldest, and that's when I realize.

It's me.

I watch myself help the smallest one move along the water, their steps wide and making too many splashes, and the water fortunately shallow enough to be able to stand up.

But then, who's the other one? It isn't until I notice the short, silky blonde hair and the curious eyes that I recognize him.

Pen.

The very same Pen I first met here, was being guided by me inside a memory. It didn't connect, the chances of us knowing each other weren't incredibly high, but in this memory it seemed I'd known him for a while... Then why didn't he remember me when we arrived? Was it because this was just that long ago? Even as I was watching the scene unfold, it didn't seem to make any more sense.

But I was starting to remember it. My family and Pen in the water, having a beach day. I wasn't used to suddenly remembering outside of Paradise, but I could. What I couldn't help but wonder was why. Why this of all memories, and now of all times?

They seemed to be having fun, even when I tripped and nearly drowned in knee-deep water.
No one worried, they simply picked me up and we kept playing. It was such a simple day: Pen, my brother, and I were playing, laughter between all of us, and it was like there was nothing to worry about.

As sudden as the image appeared in my head, it disappeared again.

I realize when I look up that the sun has set long ago, and I'm freezing cold, wet, still in my clothes, and out of the water.

Picking myself up, I let out an annoyed groan and hugged myself, trying to conserve at least some body heat. How did I get out here? If it was Li, I'd rather throw myself back into the water.

Before I'm able to put more thought into it, I hear the pitter patter of someone running along the asphalt.

"Sebby, you woke up!" Claire stopped in front of me, holding a bundle of pink clothes in her arms. "You were out for a while, I was getting worried."
I blinked up at Claire and stood up with numbing legs, shivering.

"Here, I got ya some new clothes and a towel," she said, holding them out to me. I grimaced seeing the pink and white t-shirt with a bubble design, and the short shorts, but it was better than using these wet ones.

"Look away," I said, taking them from her hands. I started undressing the moment Claire turned away, peeling my clothes away from my skin with a grimace. "How did you find me?"

"The System lets us find anyone we're looking for. Pretty convenient, huh? Antoinette was actually the one that suggested we find you, she was worried you were taking so long."

Antoinette did? I hummed in response, drying myself off and begrudgingly putting the other clothes on. I didn't expect her of all people to have thought about that.

But there was something more important on my mind right now.

"Right... tell her thanks from my part, but there's somewhere I have to go right now," I said, to which she looked at me with a frown.

"Whaaa? But I came all this way to get you, where are you going?"

But I couldn't tell her.

"Someone."

At least, not the entire truth.

She seemed to deflate at my short answer, but I had said what I needed to, so I checked my watch and searched for Pen. I had to talk to him.

No time wasted for a goodbye to Claire, I was standing in front of a door before I knew it.

According to the map, Pen was on the other side of the door. I knocked the door right away.

"Pen, open up! It's me, Sebastian."

"Who?" I heard him from the other side.

"The guy you met after you woke up."

"...Who?"

I groaned, putting my knuckles against the door. "The unreliable one."

The door opened, and I saw Pen smiling up at me.

"What can I do for you?" After asking, he looked me up and down. "If it's fashion advice, I'm afraid you're too far gone."

I looked down at what I was wearing, covering myself up with my hands.

"Do you know who I am?" I wasted no time in asking. "Do you remember me?"

He must have seen the desperate look in my eyes, because he took a step back into the room.

"Yes...? I remember you as the first person I met after arriving here. How have you been, for that matter? Well, I hope. I've heard you became the talk of the town."

"Forget all of that," I said. "Before that, anything?"

Pen tilted his head; he looked confused, and I didn't blame him. If somebody came up to me asking these questions I would have blown them off already. I found some relief knowing he didn't do that and only shook his head.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, sir... Would it be alright to ask for an explanation?"

I wouldn't give him one. Was that wrong? Maybe. I couldn't let him know if he didn't already, that would just confuse him for no reason.

I leaned back again, covering my face as I thought, and then sighed when my hands fell back down. "Nevermind," I said, "I'm talking crazy. Goodbye."

I didn't want to give him the chance to ask questions, because I knew I might not be able to bite my tongue if he did. Instead, I turned and walked away as soon as I'd said that, and returned to 1-A while listening to Pen calling out to me in concern.

I'm standing again in front of the lake where I attacked Li with the rock. The sun is setting and I'd changed back into a regular T-shirt and pants because I'd remembered the function on my watch only after I got here. It was fitting, I supposed, that I had to embarrass myself in order to get absolutely no answers and more questions. Why didn't he remember me? Why could I remember? How can I keep recovering memories? Mocking me, the questions circled around in my mind. What should I do now? Who am I?

I grimaced, as though an overwhelming smell had just invaded, but the only thing really overwhelming was how little I knew when I realized I had more questions than answers.
Night time had begun by the time I'd made absolutely no process on answering my questions, but I knew I had to go. If I stayed out too much again, they might worry, and something in me gnawed at me when I thought that, filling me with a sense of unease I couldn't put my finger on. I didn't want to think about it, either. After that I figured the best option would just be returning to 1-A.

As I left, my eyes drifted down to the water... and then I was gone.

The hallway was empty and silent when I arrived, and taking a deep breath to brace myself and reset myself from the whirlwind that was today, I opened the door.

An odd sight greeted me, that of my three roommates sitting around the table in a braiding train, all in their pajamas. A girl's night?

"You're back." Antoinette was the first to notice me. She looked relieved to see me, which raised a smile to my face and made walking in a little easier.

"I'm back. Sorry I took so long, had something to take care of." I waved at them- when did I start apologizing to them? Confusion crossed my face, but they either didn't see it or didn't care.

"Sebastian, you should join us," said Kristina, making ponytails in Antoinette's hair with the braids. It took me a moment to understand what they were talking about, and once I did I immediately denied.

"Yeah... Yeah, no, I'd rather not. It's been a long day, I just want to turn in for the night, y'know?" I started walking towards my own room, but as I was passing in front of them, a hand grabbed at my leg and pulled me back.

"Aw, come on, Sebby! You're part of us now, remember? You gotta join us for stuff like this." She seemed to have no regard for the fact my hair wasn't long enough, nor I- as a boy -could join a girl's night. "Take a seat in my lap, I'll do yours."

"No, really, I'm fine. You don't have to- woah!"

She pulled me down, and just like that five minutes later I was sitting at the front of the train, letting Claire run her fingers through my hair as they talked.

I tried to tune out their conversations and myself, but they were constantly including me in it; questions, opinions, I was part of the conversation whether I liked it or not. For the most part I didn't really mind, as I didn't really have to move much, and some of the things they talked about were actually interesting... I never knew Antoinette was into programming.

In the end I did try to relax, leaning back into Claire as she happily worked on me, and I closed my eyes. I could imagine how it must look right now, and the image filled me with... peace.

"How's it feeling? Am I doing good? Your hair is, like, too short to do anything actually nice, but I've been trying," said Claire to me at one point, while Kristina and Antoinette were discussing something I couldn't care less about and thus didn't pay attention to.

"Mm... it's alright."

"Sweet. Alright, just sit back and relax; you can lean back onto me if you want, it'll make it a little easier for me."

"Right..." After that, I fell silent and tried to relax, closing my eyes to concede defeat to this fate.

A nauseating thought fills my head as Claire's dexterous fingers run through my hair.

I'd tried so hard to fight the system and play by my own rules, struggling by myself to turn things in my favour, I'd forgotten all about the people I was with. In my own path towards my goal, I didn't realize I'd started getting used to this place... and to these people I could actually start considering friends, in a place that was better than an empty void.

I took a deep breath.

This night was the first night in which I could believe I really wasn't alone, surrounded by people that might actually like me...and I was ashamed to admit it scared me.