a/n: i won't be updating this story for a while, so if you want to see some of my better writing (that i will be updating) check out my new story "of planets and playlists"!

Dedication: this chapter is for all of you <3

Emma and I lay splayed over my bed, limbs hanging off the sides as we watch the movie playing in front of us. Emma is fully immersed in the romance playing in front of her, but I am too involved in dealing with the romance of my own. We were an hour into the movie, and I had been texting Harper the whole time.

Finally, Emma spun her head round to notice and groaned. "Can you stop? I didn't force you two together for you to ignore me completely!" She aimed a clean shot to my head with the pillow.

"But, Emma," I groaned like a little child, purposely winding her up. "He loves me."

"I don't care," Emma groaned. "This is best friend time. We don't need boys to ruin best friend time, too."

"Alright, alright," I laughed, settling back into the covers. Just as I did so, I heard the telltale sound of my mom coming home, the click of the lock of the door, her heels clacking against the floor. Not a few moments later was there a little squeal.

"Noelle!" She yelled, voice brimming with excitement. "Are you home? Noelle!"

I shared a quick glance with Emma, who shrugged.

"Yes?" I called out, slipping out of the bed, Emma trailing after me.

"You have to come down here, Noelle!" Mom repeated herself.

I sped up, reaching the landing with a slight stumble. Emma reached the landing a few steps after me, but with the momentum she had been racing down the stairs, she fell straight into me, leaving us sprawled on the floor. I groaned, pushing her hair out of my mouth.

"Ouch," she groaned. "I've been wounded."

"No joking," I muttered teasingly. "You fell into me! I braced your landing!"

"Yeah, well maybe if you— "

"Stop bickering, the pair of you," my mom said, and I noticed her for the first time. She was still wearing her clean-cut office clothes, a few strands falling out of place in her immaculate bun. She hadn't looked up the entire time, eyes set on a stack of smooth paper envelopes clutched in between the confines of her fingers. I looked up curiously.

Who sends letters anymore?

"Who are they from?" I asked, pulling myself to my feet. "What do they say?"

"I don't know, I haven't opened them," she whispered, stroking the envelope slightly with her thumb. "But, Noelle, they're college letters."

Immediately, my breath caught in my throat. College letters— papers I had been waiting for for months. The mere slips of paper that would define my future. Emma had already received hers, and she had no problem getting into UCLA. It had been one of my applications, but the acceptance I really yearned for wasn't in California, or even the west coast.

I wanted to go to New York.

New York University- where my mother went, where I had been yearning to go to for years.

"Holy shit," Emma murmured, standing up beside me. She grabbed onto my hand for support, clutching it tightly. "You've got this," she whispered. "I know you do."

My mom looked up at me. "Would you like to open them?"

I parted my lips to say yes, but I caught myself. Mom, who had been there since the very beginning. Mom, who had been spurring me on in all aspects of life, who I often took for granted and hurt, who in no way deserved it. Mom, who had supported me until now, and would support me for the rest of my life.

"No," I replied firmly. "I want you to open it."

A small smile grew on her face, and my heart expanded with so much love for her that I thought it would jump out of my chest. "Okay," she said faintly. To a stranger, she might have looked the same. However, I could see just how touched she was.

"First one," she grabbed from the six letters in her hand. "Brown."

I held my breath as she cut open the tough paper with her nails. Getting into Brown would definitely be a dream, but I had had my doubts. Her face fell a little, and I knew the results.

"No," she shook her head, scanning the paper. "I'm sorry, Noelle."

"It's alright," I leaned forward and squeezed her wrist. "Five more to go."

So she began reading them again, Emma standing firmly and faithfully by my side. I didn't get into Columbia, or UCLA, or Berkeley, but there was certainly an element of relief when I had been accepted to Boston University. Finally, we were down to the last letter, the one had been the most excited for. Or perhaps I was dreading it, dreading the words that would tell me that I wasn't accepted. All the rejections so far were written politely enough, but there was no way to mask the sinful weight of not being accepted into the university of your dreams.

Mom slit open the last letter. "Here we go."

Emma's grasp on my hand tightened infinitely, and for a split moment, I had never been so grateful for her support. Heart racing in my chest, I glanced back up at my mom. Every movement seemed to take years, from the unfolding of the paper, to reading it, to the single hand that clasped over her mouth.

"What is it?" I close to demanded, my heart beating so loudly I could hear the pulse echoing in my ear. If my hands were clammy with sweat, Emma didn't care to let go. "What does it say?"

After what must have been a solid minute, Mom looked up.

"Noelle Richards," she whispered, a grin growing on her face. "You're going to NYU."

Not a moment after the words left her mouth, a high pitched squeal filled the air. Not caring if it came from my mouth, I dropped to my knees. I was sobbing, tears streaming freely down my face and wetting my shirt, but I didn't care. Pure elation burned in the pit of my stomach, seeping into my blood and running through my veins. I felt a pair of arms encircle my body and pull me to their own, and I cried even harder.

"Oh my god!" Emma yelled, definitely waking the neighbours at the sheer volume of her voice. "Honey, you're in! I knew you would make it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" I felt new arms squeeze around me, and this time, I knew it was Emma.

"Noelle," my mom cried. I looked up at her, rivulets of eyeliner and tears seeping down her face. "I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud— "

Startlingly, she stopped, choking on her tears and falling into a pit of sobs. My breath tightened, and I clutched on tightly to her. "Mom," I whispered, trying to rub my tears away. "Don't cry."

"I can't help it," she wailed. "My baby is going to NYU! I've never been this happy before!"

Emma raised her eyebrows. "Not even when Florence got into university!"

"But it was expected Florence would get in, she's smart," Mom justified, leaving me in a seat of confusion. "Noelle, however, well— " and she burst into sobs again.

What does that mean?

As if reading my mind, Emma shrugged. Deciding not to let it bother me, I snaked my arms around both women, my mother and my best friend, and together we lay on the floor, in a sea of tears and endless excitement.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Noelle: meet me in the abandoned house?

Harper: baby doll, it's three in the morning

Noelle: please?

Harper: why are you even awake rn

Noelle: why are you?

Harper: i'm watching sherlock

Noelle: then you should have no problem meeting me ;)

Harper: ...

Harper: fine

Noelle: i love you!

Harper: wish i could say the same for you

Harper: <3

I put my phone down on the mattress that I had been sitting on for the past few minutes. I was in the empty house between Harper and I, and a few days ago we had finally taken one of Harper's old mattresses and put it down on the bare floorboards. Deciding to lie down, I sprawled myself over the soft cushioning, fiddling with the pieces of lint that littered the fabric. Finally, I heard the telltale sound of the window I had opened before sliding shut. Footsteps near my head, then Harper's face glancing down at me.

"I thought Emma was sleeping over at yours tonight," he commented. I sat up so he could occupy the space next to me on the mattress.

"She is," I replied as he threw himself down. "She's sleeping right now. I just really needed to talk to you."

Harper raised an eyebrow, reaching down to our hands to intertwine them lightly. "I hope you're not breaking up with me just yet?"

"Unfortunately, no," I joked. "I have some news that is hopefully a bit more upbeat."

Silence fell and Harper looked at me with a gaze so intense I thought I was going to explode. Slowly, he narrowed his eyes. If it was awkward, it was evident that he didn't feel it.

"Noelle," he began slowly. "I love you a lot— believe me, I really do, and I have for a long time— but I'm not going to marry you."

"What— "

"I mean, you're great and everything but don't you think we're a little too young? We just started dating, we're not even out of high school yet— "

"Harper— "

" —I don't think I'm ready for such a life-long commitment right now. I mean, we don't even know what universities we are going to yet— "

"Actually," I managed to cut in, trying to contain my laughter. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"I know you want to talk to me about marriage," Harper said. "That's what I'm saying, I'm not ready— "

"No, you egotistical oaf," I grinned. "I don't want to talk about marriage. As much as you are wonderful, I'm also not quite ready for marriage either."

The air clouded with awkward silence. At least, on Harper's behalf. By now, I could no longer contain my laughter. In response, his cheeks turned alarmingly pink, averting his eyes to the ground.

"Stop laughing," he groaned, covering his face with hands. "I didn't think this through."

"I know you didn't," I giggled, poking his arm. "You're blushing so hard right now. Times have changed, haven't they?"

"I hate you," his voice was muffled behind his palms.

Laughing, I pulled on his wrists, allowing me to see his face once again. It was still hilariously red. "Why don't you just tell me your news, then," he muttered, obviously trying to dodge the subject. "I think that would be better for the both of us."

"Nope, just you," I cheekily responded.

He groaned again. "Please, Noelle."

"Okay," I gave in. "I got most of my college letters today."

Harper perked up immediately. "Really?" his voice softened a little. "How did you do?"

"I got in," I smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. "I did it."

"NYU?" Harper began to smile too. He knew how much I wanted that university.

I nodded, and that single movement seemed to set off a series of chain reactions in him. First, he yelled out eager congratulations. Then his arms were wrapped around me, pulling me to his chest. Next, I could feel hot tears on my shoulder.

I pulled back slightly to see his face. "Are you— " I moved forwards a little bit to make sure that it wasn't a trick of the light. "Are you crying?"

"No," he tried to brush it off. "I'm not... crying." He sniffled.

"Oh my god, you are crying."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he continued, but there was no mistaking the wetness on his cheeks.

"Harper!" I grinned, cupping his face. "That's so sweet!"

"I can't help it," he finally admitted, voice cracking. "I'm just really happy for you. That's your dream university, Noelle."

"Thank you, neanderthal," I commented cheekily, pulling him in to kiss him quickly. "I'm very touched that you're getting emotional over this." Brushing my thumb over his skin, I wiped his tears. I was telling the truth. Only seeing Harper cry twice in the past, both for miserable reasons, seeing him cry out of joy over my success was a moment that I would definitely remember.

"I think I deserve more kisses than that," he said when I pulled away.

I raised an eyebrow. "I think I do. I got into NYU."

An amused smirk graced his lips. "Fair enough," he muttered, pressing his lips against mine once again.

The kiss was passionate and sweet. Harper's hands cupped my face, the lingering minty taste of his toothpaste gracing his lips. The night air was cold, but his skin felt like fire burning my fingertips as they brushed the back of his neck. By then, I was settled in the space between his legs the soft fabric cushioning my knees.

"You know," Harper said in between kisses. "We are on a mattress."

"Really?" I humoured him.

"That's basically like being on a bed."

"No way," I laughed into the kiss. "I want my first time to be on an actual bed, thank you very much."

"I mean, my room is right over there if you want to— "

"Hush," I leaned back, slapping my hand over his mouth. This time my face was burning red. "Let's stop talking about this."

"Aren't you cute?" Harper cooed, kissing my cheek softly. "You look like a tomato."

"Shut up," I groaned, pressing my hands against my rapidly heating cheeks. "You're mean."

"I just like teasing you," he grinned. "You're so small and— innocent."

I pouted. Slowly, almost unconsciously, Harper began to run his hands up and down my sides. Goosebumps rose on my arms, but I didn't say anything. His hands went to the lowest part of my back, and I realised just how purposefully he was actually doing this. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop the small gasp that escaped my lips.

"Cute," he smirked, kissing my other cheek. "So very cute."

"Okay, we get it," I murmured. "You're good at making me blush."

"Smart, too," it was like he hadn't even heard me. "My girlfriend is cute and smart. New York University is pretty damn good."

Harper was congratulating me on my acceptance, but I hadn't gotten over the feeling of him calling me his girlfriend quite yet.

"Jesus Christ!" Muffled yelling came from my bedroom.

Emma.

I hadn't thought to tell her I was leaving the house, not expecting to be gone for this long.

"This girl!" I heard her huff, before her gorgeous face— though smudged heavily with eyeliner— popped up at my window.

"Oh no," I whispered to myself, as her eyes narrowed.

"Again? You're with him again?" She groaned, before muttering what sounded like "are you fucking kidding me".

"Andrews!" she yelled, startlingly loud in the quiet neighbourhood. "Can you stop stealing my best friend?"

"I try not to," he replied, arms still wrapped around me. "She's just super clingy. I can't get her to leave me alone."

I shot a glare at him and he responded with a wink.

"Either way," Emma continued, a small smile on her face. "Please tell your girlfriend to stop spending so much time with you. It sickens me."

He raised an eyebrow. "I kind of like her though," Harper sighed, glancing at me.

Emma's eyes widened challengingly.

Feebly, Harper looked back at the blonde she-monster. "But I think I could do without her for a bit." His response was eerily fast.

"Ouch," I whispered to him.

"Thank you," Emma smiled sweetly. "Now fuck off."

Not looking so scared anymore, he laughed. "Love you, Emma!" He called out.

She responded with a middle finger.

He chuckled one last time, before turning to me. "Goodnight, baby doll," a kiss to the forehead, and he stepped away, squeezing my hip a little under his large hand. "Congratulations again."

"Thank you," I responded shyly. "Goodnight."

With that, we parted ways, him into his room with a comforting bed, me into mine with an angry blonde devil that I loved with all my heart. Just as I set food on my floorboards and Emma began ranting about how she never did this with Max— although she very often did— I looked back to see Harper blow me a kiss from his window.

it's been some time.

i am so sorry to all those who were checking frequently to see if this book was updated, and left disappointed. honestly, i really am.

there is no real excuse to why i haven't update this book in almost a year, but i'm going to try.

honestly, i'm starting to lose interest in this book. at some point in time, i will definitely finish it, but i don't know when. i just feel that this book is not a good representation of my writing abilities. not only is the plot badly developed, the character development close to nothing (except for noelle, my baby), but it's not well written, this chapter included. i honestly feel like i can write a lot better than this, so over the course of this year— as well as balancing my grades— i have been writing new things, that i think are a lot better, and i hope to publish those soon.

don't get me wrong, this book is still my baby. though i don't like many aspects of it, i am so proud of the hard work that i put into this book, i am so proud of the messages i have been spreading, my characters, the real-life issues i have been addressing that many of you have messaged my saying that this book helped them. it honestly makes me so happy when people message me, even though i have been taking a long time to reply. during my break, i have not been checking messages frequently, and i apologise for that.

hopefully, however, i will be back on wattpad soon. maybe not on this book, but working on other things that make me a little more happy to showcase my work. thank you so much for your patience and your time, and i hope you enjoyed this chapter!

if you're interested in what's going on in my life, you can request my instagram (anahitakaman or anifantasies) but make sure to message me on insta first so that i know who you are (i will be regularly checking that) + check my wattpad profile for status updates!

i know i don't show it, but i love you all so much :)

i hope you guys have a great summer and i hope that i see you all soon! <3

(BEST OF LUCK TO ALL THOSE IN SUMMER COURSES)

- A xx