Dedicated to: Olissa02

Thinking about Harper without feeling all fuzzy and lovesick must have been the hardest thing I had ever attempted to do.

Damn you, Andrews. Stop messing with my feelings, okay?

Emma had come over about an hour ago to get me ready for our date, insisting that I did not possess the "common skills to dress myself decently". She had even gone as far to say all I wore were sweatpants and jeans. I had scoffed and told her that Harper wishes all I ever wore were sweatpants and jeans, nothing else.

I sat on my bed, tapping my foot in anticipation, waiting for Harper to arrive. Minutes slowly crept by as I tried to will ten o'clock in the morning to come faster. I had never looked forward to anything so much in my life. My heart was racing and head was buzzing and I couldn't keep my fingers still- from smoothening out my white dress, to straightening the frizz in my hair.

The sound of the clock ticking was mocking me, riling me up to no end. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I waited for him. This was the moment I had been waiting for for so long and now that it was down to the last few minutes, I felt like I was standing on a wire, ready for the moment to fall. Not even my excitement could stop the nerves, though.

What if I mess up?

What if I say something that sends him running?

What if he finally sees me for who I am- someone who simply isn't good enough?

I froze. That single thought was the reason for everything I did. That I wasn't good enough. I thought it was gone. I thought I had learned.

My phone rang obnoxiously loud from beside me, silencing my thoughts, shoving them away for the time being. I picked it up, picking at the bedsheets beneath me. "Hello?"

"Hi," Emma said. "Is he there yet?"

"No," I whispered, staring at the clock. I don't know why I was so worried, he still had a few minutes. "What if he doesn't show up?"

Emma scoffed. "That's ridiculous. Don't think like that- he really really likes you, I'm a hundred percent sure he'll show up."

The hand on the clock seemed to slow down even more. "Are you sure- "

The doorbell rang.

I screamed into the phone. "He's here!" I yelled to Emma. "Oh my gods, he's here!"

"Well why are you yelling at me?! Go open the door for him!"

"But I'm nervous!"

"That's too bad! On my first date with Max, I was nervous but you just shoved me out the door! So go!"

"I don't think I want to!"

"NOELLE SOON TO BE ANDREWS, WE BOTH KNOW THAT IS A LIE SO GET UP AND HAUL YOUR ASS OUT THE FRONT DOOR NOW, OKAY! I SWEAR, IF YOU DO NOT GO WITHIN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO GO OVER THERE AND- "

"I'm going, I'm going!" I finally shriek into the phone, hanging up and stuffing it hastily into the purse Emma had packed for me because apparently books weren't acceptable to bring and read on the first date.

Mundanes.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I descended down the stairs quickly, before coming to a complete stop before the door. I leant my head against the wood, closing my eyes.

Why am I so nervous? This is just Harper. Come on, he's practically one of your best friends. Don't be so scared. Even if you do mess up, it's Harper. He'll just find it funny and laugh in your face. He won't actually hate you. There is no need to be scared.

You know, apart from the fact that this is the first time you're doing something romantic with him with all your feelings just open and out there ready for him to crush them mercilessly and-

"You okay in there?" I muffled voice came from behind the door. "I mean, I can see you from your front window and you've just been standing with your head on the door for the last three minutes. It's kind of unnerving, really."

I blushed, jolting away from the door in embarrassment. However, I moved away so startlingly quickly and combined with my horrible clumsiness I managed to trip over my own feet on the front door rug. Needless to say, I tumbled straight to the floor, further embarrassing myself in front of the guy I had been trying to win over for months.

Harper burst out laughing, confirming my suspicions that he had seen me from the window. Sure enough I could see him, slow clapping as he continued to erupt into peals of laughter. I rolled my eyes and pouted at him as he continued to make fun of my lack of balance. A few moments later, he opened the front door to my house and was standing above me in his pale blue button down and jeans. I narrowed my eyes at his tall stature.

"How did you just get in?" I asked suspiciously.

Harper raised an eyebrow, still laughing. "Leaving your key under the doormat is not one of the most original spots."

I huffed, laying back on the ground. "Come on, baby doll," Harper grins. "Do you need to help getting up?" I watched as he leaned forward and offered me a hand.

"Not from you," I muttered, refusing the hand and pulling myself to my feet. He chuckled again, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to his body. "You're cute," He commented, smiling at me in a way that made my knees tremble.

"And you're an asshole, what's your point?"

It was Harper's turn to roll his eyes, knowing I was only joking. "And you're infuriating."

"Keeps you on your toes, doesn't it?" I answer cheekily.

"Touché."

"Come on, let's go before my mom realises you're here and takes a bajillion photos of us." Smiling, I grabbed his hand and we walked to his car.

"Hey, I know this may sound pretty weird- " Harper began as he opened the car door for me. "But can we stop at the hospital before our date?"

"Sure," I immediately responded. "Are visiting Kate?"

"Yes, today is the only day that all of us- Mom, Jenna and I are free to go see Kate together. I mean we all go separately during the week and Mom has work and we have finals coming up so we may not be able to all go together, and I'm really sorry- "

"Hey, don't be sorry," I smiled at him, leaning to the side so I could kiss his cheek softly. "I'd love to go visit Kate. That is, if I'm invited- "

"Of course you are." Harper said as if were to be expected. Suddenly, he leant back to grab a coffee from the back seat an handed it to me. "For you, my lady. With extra sugar and a dash of cinnamon, just how you like it." He winked and I giggled.

"Why thank you, sir."

And with that, we were off.

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I followed Harper down the bleached hallways of the hospital. He had gradually grown very quiet, consumed by this strange sort of sadness that he only let emerge when he was around Kate. It hurt me so much to see him that melancholy. I could tell that he and Kate must have had an incredibly strong bond with the way he and his life would falter when he would think of her tragedy. It wasn't even pain that I could see residing in his eyes, just a dark, hollow emptiness.

I watched him as we walked through the corridors, finally halting at the door of the room. I let him walk in first, waiting outside the door, sitting in one of the cold, plastic seats. It was so extremely suited to the environment, I remembered thinking, because hospitals too were brutally cold and harsh, and painfully restricting. 

Just as the door was closing, Harper caught it as if suddenly remembering something. He spun around, green eyes boring into me. "Would you- would you like to come in?" He forced out with strained politeness.

"It's fine," I placed my hand over his that was clenched into a fist at his side, knuckles white. "I don't want to interfere."

"You're not interfering at all," He responded quickly. His voice softened. "Please come in. I need you."

That was all it took. I stood up, following behind Harper into Kate's hospital room, squeezing it in encouragement.

No matter how many times, I would visit her, the sight of a fourteen year old girl lying deathly pale in the hospital bed would always startle me. But this time, there was something in me, something that rang out more shocked than merely surprised. Because for the first time since coming here, I realised that just a few weeks ago, that was me.

That was me lying in that bed. That was me with crying family members surrounding me. That was me on the verge of the end.

That was me.

As I caught sight of Maggie and Jenna already sitting by Kate's bed, Harper kneeling down next her silently as well I couldn't help but think that this was all so very unfair. I mean- why did I come out of that coma before she did? I- I didn't deserve to. I had willingly put myself in that position, I knew the consequences. But here she was, a young girl so naive and clueless who never wanted any of this to happen. She was only thirteen when it happened, she had so much to look forward to- beginning high school, new privileges, new responsibilities- and she just fell. Fell straight in Joshua's trap. It wasn't her fault she was here but my coma- that sure as hell was all my problem.

I stood in the corner of the room, watching Harper just sitting there, completely wordless and heartbroken and my heart shattered all over again. I realised then that I would do anything- anything to switch Kate and I's positions right now. I would put everything down to be in that hospital bed instead if that meant she could go live her life the way she had probably always dreamed of.

I would do anything, but right now I could do nothing.

And that hurt more than anything.

Slowly, I approached the bed, kneeling on the floor beside Harper. For once, I felt left out within their family circle. I didn't let it get to me.

Maggie and Jenna spoke softly to Kate, barely acknowledging that I was there, but Harper remained speechless. He just watched, gripping Kate's hand tightly in his. I closed my eyes, silently praying for her.

Please let her wake up.

Please soothe Harper's aching heart.

Please let Kate live the life she has always dreamed to live.

Please let her open her eyes again.

Please.

By the time I opened my own eyes, Harper was gone. I looked around quickly. Noticing that he wasn't in the room I stood up, motioning to Maggie that I would go out and look for him. Nodding, she pointed to the door. I smiled softly in response before heading out.

I wandered the hallways for a bit, looking for him through all the starch brightness of perfectly pristine walls. Just walking down there, nurses rushing past me, family members sitting outside hospital rooms in anticipation- I had the sudden urge to cry. But I couldn't. I now knew that seeing me break down would only provoke Harper's one as well. If I cried, he might too.

I finally found him sitting alone outside one of the rooms near the end of the hospital, knees bent up, eyes closed. My heart broke a little at the sight. As quietly as I could, I curled up my knees and sat on the floor beside him, forgetting about my dress. As if already knowing that it was me, he grabbed my hand in his, squeezing it gently. I squeezed back.

Harper was always there for me- it was time I repaid the favour.

"What's it like?" Harper asked softly. "To be in a coma?"

I flinched at the bluntness of the question. Deciding to ignore it given the situation, I took a deep breath.

"It's- " I tried to find the right word. "It's suffocating. To know that there are people around you who love you but you can't do anything to comfort them when they cry. You can't dry their tears, you can't tell them everything is going to be alright. You cannot make a move to help."

He closed his eyes, almost as if he were in pain.

"I hate this," He whispered. "I hate this so much."

I hated it too.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat, trying not to cry. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him everything would be okay- but I couldn't because I didn't know that for sure. I had never felt so hopeless, Harper had done so much for me, but I couldn't do a single thing.

"I'm sorry," I replied. "I know this is probably one of the worst things I can say right now to try and comfort you, but I'm so sorry."

"Then you don't need to say anything," Harper responded after a moment, clenching my hand even harder. "With you, even your silence is enough."

I smiled a little, leaning my head on his shoulder. "You know- if you need to- it's okay to cry. I know that you've probably grown up learning that it's not okay for boys to cry and show emotion, but honestly its all just bullshit. You have the right to cry and be emotional just as much as we do. I won't judge you."

For the first time, the corners of Harper's lips tugged up a little. "I know you won't judge me."

He turned to glance down at me, then bit his lip as if trying to hold back a little. "It's really hard for me sometimes," Harper commented. "I know it may not seem like it, but I'm always thinking about Kate." He laughed a little. "Or you, of course. I'm always thinking about you."

"The days that you were in your coma- it felt like years, Noelle. It was probably the worst period in my life. Two of the most important people in my life- you and Kate- were both suffering." He sniffed a little. "I hate seeing the people I love suffering. I just want everything to turn out all right."

I had never seen or felt Harper open up to me this much before. I was used to him being strong- untouchable, almost- but here he was, completely vulnerable, finally breaking down.

"I'm really sorry I did that to you," Flinging my arms around him, I pulled Harper closer, so that he was almost hunched around my body. "I truly am."

"That's okay," He murmured, pressing the back of my hand to his lips. His eyes were gleaming- with love or restrained tears, I did not know. "We both went through a hell of a lot to get this far, I think we finally got to an okay place in our relationship. That's why I'm taking you on a date right now. Fucking finally."

I laughed, standing up and brushing off my legs. "You ready to go? Or do you want to spend some more time here?"

"I think I'll go visit Kate for a little longer," He said. "Maybe let my mom know that we're leaving. Meet by the car in ten minutes?"

I wasn't stupid, I could catch the hint that he wanted to go alone to see his sister this time- just he and his family- and I completely respected that. I nodded and and awkwardly patted his shoulder. "I'll see you in ten."

I watched him walk away and glanced around, trying to find my way out of the corridor and towards the exit. I followed signs, asked directions and finally made it to the car with two minutes to spare. It was only when I saw Harper walk the steps down from the exit of the hospital when I realised.

The strangely familiar hospital room I had found Harper breaking down in front of was my one.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour and a half later, I was watching the seen run by my window- stallions of waves breaking the fine sand beneath- crumbling and falling in never ending loops. We had been driving for only 45 minutes, stop once along the way in a beautiful golden field where Harper had presented his home-cooked picnic. We had sat eating and laughing on the hood of the car, until he had announced that we had to get going. So here we were, racing along a narrow road lining the coast to god knows where.

"Do you ever just look at the sea and find it so very fascinating?" I asked Harper, not taking my eyes off of the vibrant blue. "How many stories there are surrounding it?"

"Explain it to me," he responded.

"I mean, the sea has so many tales. It has seen millions of years of tragedy, and sorrow, and love, and happiness- from the little girl who bid her father goodbye on a boat trip- never for him to come home- to the old lady who sees her childhood of playing in the water or building sandcastles as fragile as the memories that barely linger. The young sailor who by now is probably long gone that saw the ghosts of his friends who drowned at sea, probably going insane and regretting that he was the only one that lived- the only one who the world decided to spare. He probably sat in his rocking chair at home, thinking of the days out there- the smell of bitter salt, the laughter of his friends- and wished desperately that he could turn back time and just save all of them- just get them all off the ship as quick as he could so they could be with him."

Harper remained completely ad utterly silent. Finally, a few minutes later, I felt his voice echo in the car, just above the thrum of the engine. "That's really very tragically beautiful." He murmured, sounding slightly stunned.

"I don't think it's beautiful," I replied. "It's haunting."

"No- just- the way you said it," He explained. "The way you just devised a whole life story on the spot with emotion and everything- it was incredible."

"Why?" I questioned, truly confused to why he was so impressed. "Don't you ever just look at people and create a whole life story for them?"

He looked curious as he shook his head. "No?" 

"Okay, that's it." I replied, sitting up in my seat excitedly. "We're doing it now. With the first person we see."

I expected Harper to refuse- to insist that he was way too cool for that or something- and I would be left awkwardly just wallowing in the silence. To my surprise, he turned to look at me and smiled that little smile that I know he reserved purely for me. "Sure."

Finally, as we drove along the deserted road, there were a few people who seemed to be appearing on the beach. "There!" I yelled, pointing at a couple on the beach passing by. The girl was tall and dark skinned with loops of beautiful dark brown hair, and the guy was slightly shorter but very built- with blonde hair.

"Okay," Harper grinned. "The girl definitely looks like an Esmerelda."

"Good, good."

"The guy looks like a Fargo."

I burst out laughing. "Fargo?

"Yes!" He exclaimed. "Look! Definitely a Fargo."

"Fine," I said, still laughing. "Continue."

"Well- if you look- you can see that Fargo definitely likes Esmerelda a lot more than she likes him. Even from a distance- you could just tell. He was looking her in that way. You know, the way I look at you."

"How do you look at me?" I asked him teasingly.

"Well, I don't know particularly what I look like, but I know what I'm thinking when I look at you."

"And what's that?"

Harper merely grinned and reached over to lace his free hand with mine. "Maybe some other day, baby doll." He mumbled something underneath his breath that I didn't seem to catch.

I felt the heat rising to my cheeks. Trying to fill the silence, I opened my mouth.

"Why did you switch from calling me 'angel' to 'baby doll'?" I asked. "I mean, at the start of the year, you called me angel, but then you just changed. Why?"

"Well," Harper began. "I used to call all my hookups 'angel'. I mean, it was just a stupid term. I started calling you 'baby doll' when I realised that you meant more to me than just a hookup."

Satisfied with his answer, I glanced out the window again, only to see us entering a small pretty little fairytale looking town. The petite building were short and narrow, constructed of stone with wooden roofs. Each house had vines and flowers hugging the rock walls, brightly painted window shutters fluttering slightly in the breeze.

Watching in awe as each little dainty shop passed us by, I gasped. "This place is beautiful."

"I thought we'd stop here for a bit of dessert." Harper said, parking the car on the side of the road. "Maybe wander around a bit. I mean- if you'd like to. Like if you don't, that's totally okay we can do something else, that's totally cool- "

"Hey, it's fine," I giggled at his nerves while getting out of the car myself before Harper could come round to open it like I knew he would. "You don't have to be so scared."

He pouted, seeing me get out of the car myself. "I was meant to help you."

"That's too bad, isn't it?" I answered cheekily, slipping out of the car. "This is the 21st century. I can do it on my own."

"I know." He clarified, nonetheless mumbling something about chivalry.

Laughing at his irritation, we began to stroll down the beautiful, narrow street, passing the dainty souvenir shops with every step we took. I sighed with content- the smell of salt lingering in the fresh air, the rush of the breeze running through my hair.

"Thank you for taking me here, by the way," I commented, nudging him slightly with my shoulder. "I really do appreciate it."

"Well it was time I took you on a date, don't you think?" Harper asked, turning to look down at me, the right corner of his mouth lifting higher up and the other, shockingly reminding me of the day we first met where he was shooting that infamous smirk at me from across the hallway.  "I've always dreamed of taking you on a date, and now I finally get to do it." He nudged me back with his shoulder.

I grinned at his genuine nature. "Glad I can make your dreams come true."

He rolled his eyes amusedly, before leaning down to kiss my temple softly. I felt my stomach tighten with butterflies, not even ceasing to grow when he looked away to guide us into a little café.

"Hey, can we have a table for two?" Harper politely asked the lady behind the desk.

"Oh, of course, sweetie! Inside our outside?" She asked cheerfully. Her name tag read 'Lila'.

Harper glanced towards me, leaving the decision in my hands. "Outside, please."

She led us to a table decorated with a vase of fresh irises and charming rickety wooden chairs. Reaching out to pull out a chair, I was stopped by Harper's hand promptly moving it back for me, waiting for me to sit in it. Smiling gratefully, I sat down as he pushed in my chair before grabbing his. Priya handed us the dessert menus and we both thanked her as she walked away.

A few minutes later, we had ordered our desserts and were both just sitting and waiting. Leaning forward, Harper pulled on of the irises out of the vase.

"Do you think this is just a coincidence?" He asked, obviously meaning the flower. "That our flower just happens to be here?"

I grinned, shuffling my chair closer to his. "I think you can take it to be whatever you want to be."

He thought carefully for a moment, fingering the purple petals gently. "I don't think so." Harper smiles softly, handing me the flower, wrapping my fingers around the fragile stem. "I think the universe is trying to say something to us."

"Oh, really?" I tried to tease him regardless of my increasing heartbeat, thumping loudly in my chest. "And what's that?"

Come on, say it.

I think I know what you're going to say, please say it.

"Noelle." He began, sending me a boyish smile, making me tense up with anticipation. "Would you like to be- "

"The cheesecake for you, miss?" Lila the waitress asked.

I sighed in frustration at her interrupting the moment. Instantly feeling guilty, I shot her a smile. "Yes, thank you."

"I'm sorry!" Lila almost exclaimed, looking between the two of us. "Did I interrupt something?"

I expected Harper to blow up at her and get angry like I'm sure he would have a few months ago, but he merely shook his head a little. "No, don't worry, you're perfectly fine."

Lila promptly served us our food and left. I sat,debating whether to bring up the subject again, desperate to hear him say what I thought he was going to say. However, my thoughts instantly vanished as I took a bite of the heavenly cheesecake. "Oh my gods," I moaned, instantly taking another bite.

"Hope you're moaning like that for me," Harper winked at me, eyes filled with amusement.

Innuendo Harper is back.

"Shut up, you perv," I grumbled, taking another bite of the cheesecake and moaning again.

"You have to stop with your weirdly pornographic moans," Harper laughed. "People are starting to stare."

"Screw them," I mumbled through my mouthful of cheesecake, stuffing more in my mouth as I spoke. "No one is going to stop me from enjoying this damn good cheesecake."

Harper held back his hands in defence, sitting back in his seat. "Why aren't you eating anything?" I observed.

"I have to watch what I eat," He sighed. "I have a basketball game coming up, and coach says there will be college scouts watching."

"Really?" I asked, ceasing to stuff my face for a second. "That's amazing!"

"Yeah," He looked genuinely excited, taking my free hand into his. "They're looking for people they can take on scholarships."

"That's so cool! You're the best player in the team, you're bound to get one. It's really amazing how you're so good when you only started this year."

"I didn't actually start this year," He chuckled.

I raised an eyebrow, confused. "But you were on the football team at the start of this year and just switched to the basketball team later."

"I have been doing both for years. Football was just my back up sport before our school finally had space on the basketball team."

"Well, good thing they accepted you." I grinned, lacing our fingers together. "You're the only reason we win any games. Speaking of that... " I adjusted my dress, kind of nervous. We had never spoken about the future together. "Are you thinking of pursuing basketball in the future?"

"I don't actually know. I guess I'll just try to get a scholarship to a good college, and when I'm in i can pursue other things if I don't want to do basketball." He replied, looking down at our hands and squeezing mine gently.

My heart sunk, thinking about the future. I mean, I hadn't got any acceptance letters from any of my colleges yet. And even then- assuming I do get into one of my selected schools- will I be able to handle the pressure, or will I just crumble? And Harper-

My throat tightened.

I knew that he would do well. He would be fine. I mean, this was Harper. Brave, kind, Harper. But what if our colleges are far away from each other? What if they split us apart? He loves me now, but what if he meets another girl and he realises that I don't deserve him? That he deserves someone else- someone that doesn't have a ton of problems and insecurities to deal with?

"Hey," He said, noticing my sudden sadness. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied, trying to brush of the topic.

I could tell that Harper knew I was bluffing, but he didn't say anything, sensing that I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Okay, so," That beautiful mischievous grin reappeared. "I want to take a selfie."

"A selfie?"

"Yup." He took his phone out of his pocket. "I don't have many pictures with you. I thought it was kind of weird, seeing as you're one of the most important people in my life."

"Aw," I pinched his cheeks. "You're so cute."

"I'm not cute." Harper huffed. "I'm bringing sexy back."

"Please," I grinned. "You're the reason sexy left."

"That's rich coming from the girl who's on a date with me right now." He teased back, smirking.

"Well, that's rich coming from the guy who asked me. I didn't want to, really. Kind of felt bad for you- thought I'd make your little dreams come true."

"Let's just take the selfie," He said in defeat. Grinning at the win, I smiled for the picture.

As soon as he took it, he brought the picture down for us to see.

"Ugh," I groaned at the terrible picture of me. Of course, Harper looked gorgeous. "Let's take another one. This is a bad angle for me."

Harper looked up at me with curiosity. "What's a 'bad angle'?"

Hot people problems.

Cue internal sigh.

"Never mind, let's just take another one." I angled the phone this time, making sure the lighting would cover all of my flaws. Pimple scars, messy hair, all of that- and I took the picture.

"No!" I nearly yelled as Harper took the phone from my hand to check the photo. "I look terrible in that!"

"It's cute," He smiled, showing me the picture. Just as I was taking the photo, Harper had leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, shocking me. The photo was Harper kissing me on the cheek, me looking ridiculously surprised, mouth gaping open.

"Let's take another one," I pleaded with him.

"Nope," He held the phone far above his head while laughing mercilessly. That little jerk. "I like this one. Don't worry about it, you look really pretty. You always do."

"You're such a dork," I huffed, giving in, nevertheless leaning into him and placing my head on his shoulder. "I guess it's not that bad."

"Told you," He kissed the top of my head.

I was about to reply, when I heard yelling from the other side of the cafe. Curious, I turned around to see what was going on.

(A/N SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING)

There was a lady- about fifty- yelling at two girls who were holding hands, just a couple of years younger than us.

"You can't date her!" She yelled at one of the girls. "I am your mother and I will not allow you to date another girl! God did not want this, and neither do I!"

The girl's girlfriend who looked to be Chinese was crying softly, hiding behind her girlfriend.

"Mom," The girl pleaded, sobbing as well. I could tell she wasn't going to last very long.

Oh my gods.

The mother narrowed her eyes at both of the girls. "As long as you want to live in my house, you will not date her." The words stung like venom.

"Do you see this?" I whispered to Harper.

Jaw clenched in complete and utter rage, he nodded, too angry to say a word.

Luckily that wasn't the case for me.

"I'm going to go over there and say something," I huffed, all thoughts of my social anxiety going flying out the window. Angrily, I pushed back my chair with a screech, stomping right over to the poor couple and the terrible mother.

"Excuse me," I tried to contain my anger as the mother surprisedly spun around to look at me, a stupid judgemental look set in stone on her face. "But what is going on here?"

"It's none of your business, child," She hissed. "Just go away."

"Well, I'm going to make it my freaking business," I shot back. "Why the hell are you being so horrible to them?" I gestured to the couple.

"Because they are sinning!" The mother yelled at me. "God never wanted this. No one is born homosexual."

"Yeah, and no one is born homophobic either, so stop being a bitch about it." I retorted. I glanced over at the couple, and Harper was talking to them, obviously trying to comfort the both of them. "Who do you think you are?" I demanded the mom, softer this time. "She is your kid, and you're willing to kick her out just because of her sexuality?"

"She doesn't deserve what I have given her." The mother said, her eyebrow furrowing. "She never will until she stops this nonsense."

"What kind of person are you to base your own child's worth on her sexuality? I don't mean to be rude, miss, but anyone should be able to love whoever the hell they want, regardless of their race, gender, religion or sexuality. You are the only person your daughter has, and you're prepared to kick her out?"

The mother remained silent.

"All due respect, but isn't that harsh on your daughter? I'm sorry for trying to intrude on your parenting, but this really isn't right. She's a teenager- she's probably already going through a tough time in school because of her sexuality, the last thing she needs is her one constant- her one base of support she could always count on- leaving now as well. She needs you, or sooner or later she might start to feel very alone. And this situation- where you feel well and truly alone- can run deeper, leading to mental illnesses like depression. Trust me, miss. I know." I ended, my voice thick with emotion.

"So please," I pleaded. "Hold on to her and let her be who she wants to be."

I couldn't believe it, but I was so close to crying. I didn't want another person to go through what I did.

I looked up, and the mother was crying too. No words had to be uttered for me to know what she was thinking. Slowly, finally, her head nodded and I felt myself deflate, full of relief that there was going to be one less little girl who had missed the chance of being saved.

"Thank you," I whispered, leaning down a little to hug her, letting her arms wrap around me as well. When she pulled away, the two girls were watching me, captivated. Stepping away, I watched as there attention was drawn to the mother, who was now crying freely.

"Come here," She pleaded, before pulling both the girls into a big hug. 

I knew that a lot of problems couldn't be solved as easily as this had been. Not all mindsets can be changed with just a few words. A lot of problems took weeks, months, even years to be solved if they were solved at all. The girls had gotten lucky here- it was just a matter of minutes.

I sighed, stepping backwards a little, leaning my back against Harper's front, him immediately snaking his arms loosely around my waist. They were all still hugging, and I hoped desperately that the mother would keep to her word.

As if reading my mind, Harper spoke. "It's okay," he murmured. "If the mom doesn't stick to what she said, I gave the girls my phone number to call just in case they need our help. I could give them yours as well, if you want."

I was just about to nod my head yes, but I noticed the two girls stepping towards us. "Thank you," the girlfriend said, and she pulled me up into a hug, seeing as she was slightly taller than me. "We really do appreciate it."

"It's no problem," I replied. "Really, don't thank me."

The hug must have lasted a full two minutes, but I didn't let go. I wouldn't let go first, I promised myself, because you never know how much the other person might need it.

I hugged the other girl quickly, said our farewells, and Harper and I were off, strolling around the town once more. I was busy admiring the shops when he caught my attention, shyly picking up my hand and lacing my fingers with his. "That's what I love about you." He bravely said.

"What?"

"You didn't even think about it. You didn't care about how you would appear to them, you didn't care about anyone else's opinion, you didn't think of the consequences- you just got up and went over there because you saw that someone was hurt. You literally dropped everything to stand up for someone else."

"You would have done it," I replied softly, leaning into him slightly.

"But the way you handled it, and you were just so forgiving and so real- " He grinned down at me. "You're practically an angel."

"No, I'm the spawn of Satan," I joked and Harper laughed.

The rest of the day was- as simply as I can put it- phenomenal.

Harper led us to the beach after our walk around town. We didn't actually swim, but we had an amazing time. Harper had actually rented out a full on bouncy castle where we spent the majority of the rest of the date. The vibrant bouncy castle had attracted a few kids on the beach as well, and watching Harper interact and have fun with the kids was one of the most swoon worthy things that I had ever seen in my life.

We had had a quick dinner, and the sun was finally setting. For once, the sunset actually saddened me, because it could only mean that the date was coming to an end and the day had been the best one that I had had in a long time.

"Come on, there's one more thing I want to show you," Harper grabbed my hand, pulling me along the beach to a tarp and a large beanbag placed on top of it that definitely wasn't there before.

"Did you get Max or someone to set this up?" I grinned, before flopping onto the beanbag with a shriek.

"Maybe," He slyly responded, joining me by jumping half on top of me.

"Harper!" I squealed, hitting him softly. "Get off me, you giant neanderthal! You're so heavy, you're crushing me under your massive weight! I reckon you're going to kill me- oh no, I feel it- the first rib is snapping- whoop, there goes the next, plus my collarbone- "

"Oh, shut up," He chuckled, rolling off me finally to lie next to me on the beanbag. "So dramatic."

I didn't reply, just watching the sunset, tingles running down my spine when he wrapped his arms around my shoulders to pull me closer to his body. I could see hints of the first stars in the night sky, and I looked up in awe. There was so much light pollution back in our town that it was hard to see the stars.

"People have asked me what I find the most beautiful in the world," I murmured, looking up and leaning my head on Harper's arm. "And every time someone asks, I always have to say the stars."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I remember- when I was younger, a few years after Dad left Mom for the second time and she was having a burst of sadness, Florence and I organised for us to go camping to lighten her spirits. When the time came for us to go inside to our tents, I just couldn't. I just lay in my sleeping bag outside until dawn, just watching the stars. It's- it's incredible."

Harper stayed silent, my words sinking in. "What do you find most beautiful?" I asked him.

He didn't look at me, just kept looking up. "My sisters. I love my sisters so much. Along with my mom, they are- honest to god- one of the best things in my life."

I grinned at his honest answer, leaning up a little to press a kiss to his cheek. "I love you."

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't doubt it, too. I mean look at me." He gestured to his body. "The real deal, right here."

"So conceited," I shook my head. "Your poor, poor family."

He rolled his eyes, pulling me in closer until I was almost on top of him and the heat of his leg on mine was close to distracting. "I love you too."

It was quiet for a couple of minutes as we just looked up at the stars, enjoying the comfortable silence that flourished and settled between the two of us. I never remembered a time I had been more content. Sure, I still had problems I had to sort out- universities, therapy, ever approaching final exams- but right there, in that moment, everything was perfect.

"I- I have to ask you something," Harper announced, nerves lacing through his words.

"Shhh," I hushed, turning my face to look at him, surprised that he was already facing me, eyes glowing brilliant green in the night. "Let's enjoy the silence."

"No, no," He muttered, shaking his head. "I have to say it now, or I might never."

The sheer urgency clouding his voice made me nod my head before I could rethink.

"I like you. A lot. I think you know that. And I know it might sound strange, but after what happened these past few months- I really don't want anything to split us apart like that again. It was torture for me- every moment of every day I would miss you. I remember wishing and hoping for you to be back in my life as even just friends- if not anything more. But now- I- I don't know if I can settle with just friends. Noelle, I want us to be something."

I looked up at him in awe, speechless, my heart pounding so hard in my chest that I struggled to hear his words with the sound of the ever present blood thumping through my veins, clouding my thoughts.

Say something, idiot!

"I- " Almost choking on my words, I swallowed hard. "I want us to be something, too." My words sounded hesitant, but were anything but.

"Then let's do something about it." Harper took a deep breath. "Be mine. Be my girlfriend, Noelle."

The feeling that took over my senses was indescribable. I smiled so wide that the edges of my cheeks hurt, my grin growing even more just seeing Harper's face light up as he realised what my answer was going to be.

"There is nothing in the world that I want more."

"Oh, thank god," Harper sighed in relief, hugging me tightly. I could feel his happiness flooding through me and I just wanted to jump up and down and scream with excitement. When he pulled away, I did the only thing that could truly convey all my emotions. I kissed him.

Harper didn't even wait a second, using one hand to cup my face, the other pulling me even closer until I was pressed up against him. My mind went all fuzzy as we kissed, and Harper started to grin again.

"I can't kiss you properly if you keep grinning like that," I whispered against his lips. Of course, I was only joking. I would do absolutely anything to keep that smile on his face till the day he died.

He just laughed and pressed his lips to mine again, over and over until I was sure that a person could get drunk on kisses.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Thank you for today," I held Harper's hand as we walked up the driveway together. We stopped on my porch, just outside my door.

He looked down at me, stepping forward and pressing his lips to mine softly. "It's no problem. Today was amazing for me, as well."

We just stood there grinning at each other like love sick idiots.

"I didn't get to tell you how good you look today," He whispered.

"Same with you."

Harper kissed my forehead, before backing away. "Goodnight, baby doll."

"Goodnight." I reluctantly answered, not wanting the night to end. Instead, I blew a kiss. Harper, like the dork he was, pretended to catch the kiss in mid air, pressing it to his heart. I laughed and walked into the house.

As soon as I knew I was out of his sight, I squealed, jumping up and down on the spot. It was too late for Mom and Lana to be awake, so I had my own little party, bouncing on the balls of my feet and leaping up to my room.

That's it, Noelle. You're dating.

The only problem with my happy little adrenaline rush was that after my shower and brushing my teeth, I just could not fall asleep. I lay awake, replaying the whole day in my head- from the moment he picked me up, to the final kiss at the end, on my doorstep.

It was quite strange, really- how in just a few weeks, my life had taken a complete turn. A few weeks ago I was still in the coma- depressed and hating myself and life- and here I was now, laughing and smiling with family and friends, in a place that I wanted to be. Sure, there was still a lot more to be fixed, those dark parts of my soul still resided in my body, but overall there had been a change. A change so thrillingly extreme.

I lay in my bed, gazing out the window. I could see Harper's glass window through the abandoned house and I wasn't surprised to find the lights off in his bedroom. Of course- it was midnight and we had school tomorrow, he must have been sleeping.

Wow. He actually gets more than six hours of sleep at night. That's incredible.

Suddenly, in the depths of the night, swathed by blankets, I yearned to be close to Harper. The amazing date had ended when I didn't want it to, and I felt hollow and alone without him there.

Is this what love does to you?

I lay there, wide awake, for about fifteen more minutes before I couldn't stand the separation anymore. Impulsively, I picked up the phone and rang Harper's number.

"Hello?" His husky voice answered. I smiled immediately.

"Hi- I'm sorry, were you sleeping?"

"No, no, don't worry about it. I couldn't sleep."

"Why not?" I asked, genuinely concerned.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. You're actually driving me crazy."

I smiled again, the heat rising to my cheeks, thankful that Harper couldn't see me. I closed my eyes, still smiling, and shook my head slightly, not quite believing what I was about to say.

"Do you- do you want to come over?"

There was silence, just the gentle hum of his breathing filtering through the phone, before he replied. "Sure. I'll be there in a minute." 

I sighed in relief, deathly afraid he was going to say no.

I got up to open my window so he could come in, waiting patiently. Finally, I watched him slip through the window, shutting it behind him.

"Hey," I whispered, standing up, careful not to wake my mom. I could explain this to Lana, not Mom.

"Hi," he grinned. His eyes scanned my body and he reached forward to fiddle with the hem of my night shirt. "The infamous Hello Kitty tank top, I see."

I blushed, just remembering my attire of a tank top and sweatpants, with absolutely no makeup and my hair tied up in a messy bun. Harper still managed to look decent, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants and hair adorably ruffled.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed," He mumbled, stepping closer till we were chest to chest. Well, more like chest to upper stomach because of our height difference, but same thing. "I love this top. You look cute."

"Harper, I look about five years old."

"No, you look good," His hands slid onto my waist and I nearly shuddered at the heat of his fingers bleeding in through the fabric. "I really like you like this. Sweatpants, no makeup- " I gasped as he planted his lips on my cheek, kissing his way down the side of my jaw.

"Harper- "

"I love you so god damn much," He muttered, hesitating right in front of my lips. "Can I kiss you?"

I didn't even have to think. I nodded.

This kiss was different from all the other ones. All the other ones were fragile and sweet, but this kiss was hungry and heated. I moved my hands from my side to wrap around his neck, pulling Harper lower as I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him deeper. Finally, I was forced to pull away to breathe.

"Wow," Harper murmured under his breath, and I had a feeling that I wasn't meant to hear that. I grinned, pressing my forehead on his.

"I'm not going to make it past forty if you kiss me like that," He groaned, and I giggled. Edging forward again, he asked me- "Can I kiss you?"

"You don't have to keep requesting my permission, Harper. We're dating." The words felt so good on my lips.

"I know," He replied. "But consent is important. I don't want to do anything against your will. I think consent is one of the most important things in a relationship."

I marvelled at his words, shaking my head in disbelief. It was amazing how different he was to Joshua. "What on earth did I do to deserve you?"

He just grinned boyishly and kissed me again. His hands returned to my waist and mine to his neck. The kisses were feverish and buzzing with energy as he backed me up against the wall, the cool cement on my back contrasting to the heat of his hands and lips on me. I started to almost lose control, my head spinning, my mind completely blank except for one thought:

Harper Andrews is a damn good kisser.

I should have kissed him sooner.

He pinned me to the wall, kissing me so hard I couldn't concentrate on anything but him. His lemongrass scent filled the air, his body all hard planes and sharp angles underneath my hands, his own fingers lingering by waist, brushing down my hips, then crawling back up again. For the first time, I felt like I was truly living and breathing Harper Andrews.

Harper's hands ran down to my legs, signalling for me to jump. I did, and- still kissing- he wrapped my legs around his waist, bracing me against the wall.

"You know what really pisses me off?" He murmured, drawing his lips down to my jaw, my neck and my collarbone, before dragging it back up again. "That that asshole Joshua has kissed you more times than I have."

"I wasn't so happy about Bethany, either," I breathed out, completely submerged in Harper's kisses, his lips planted at the base of my neck, flitting up occasionally to just below my jaw. My breaths quickened even more, arching my neck slightly.

"I know," He muttered against my skin. "That's why I'm making up for it now."

With one swift movement, he moved us to the bed, settling on top of me and kissing me even harder. One of his hands went up to my head and loosened the hair tie from my hair, releasing my red strands. His hands ran through my hair, his lips burning mine. There was no doubt about it- the way he moved, the way he kissed- it was all electric. Celestial.

And for the life of me, I couldn't help but return every single one. My hands slipped under his shirt, running over the muscles in his back like I had wanted to do for months, feeling them tense and flex under my touch. I smiled into the kiss.

I'm the only one in the whole world who can make him feel like that.

Finally, he pulled away, both of our breathing shallow and harsh. Settling next to me on the bed, he opened his eyes, bright green in the imminent darkness. His lips were borderline red and swollen, causing me to blush with the thought that I had done that.

"I think that's enough," He said softly, voice rasp. "If we don't stop now, then I don't think I ever will." His eyes glanced down for a moment and I had to use every bit of will power in me not to look down as well, red flooding to my cheeks at what he was insinuating.

"Harper!" I hissed.

"What?" He laughed, head on my extra pillow. "I'm a guy who's hopelessly in love with you, and that was extremely hot."

"Shhhh!" I demanded, embarrassed.

"Aw, you're blushing." Harper cooed.

"I'm not!" I lied, indignant not to seem stupid. "I'm perfectly put together right now."

"Definitely," Harper drawled. "That's probably why you're stuttering so much."

"I hate you," I grumbled.

"I bet you do."

--------------------------------------------------------------

I woke the next morning with loud banging on my door.

"Noelle! Wake up or you'll be late for school!"

I shot up immediately and the sound of my mother's voice. Well, at least I tried to.

Harper's arm was wrapped tightly around me. Fortunately, it was preventing me from falling of the side of bed that I had somehow edged closer to in the night. Unfortunately, the quick action had caused Harper's elbow to stab just above my stomach, knocking the air right out of me.

"Harper," I tried to breathe out, shaking his arm.

"Noelle, are you in there?" My mom called.

I tried to shake him awake again. He only pulled me closer.

"Noelle?"

"Yeah, Mom- I'll be right there- "

"Hurry up! You'll be late- you have to leave in fifteen minutes if you want to catch the bus!"

"Mom, wait- "

Finally, giving up all hope, I slapped Harper straight across the face.

"What the- " He woke up, and I slapped my hand over his mouth before I could say another word.

"Shut up, my mom is just outside the door!" I hissed lowly to him. His eyes widened, and I pulled my hand away.

"What do I do?"

I looked around my room. The bathroom door was locked, so it would take too much time, as would the window. Finally, I turned to my closet.

"Hide in there!" I murmured.

"Noelle? Is everything alright? I'm coming in- "

Just as the door began to open, Harper leapt out of my bed, racing into the closet and shutting the door in the nick of time. I inwardly let out a sigh of relief. I had slept in Harper's room a few nights before, but that was before our date. I knew Mom would not be okay with him staying over in my bedroom after we had a date.

Mom walked into the room. I held my breath. "Noelle, you have got to get changed. You're going to miss the bus." She showed no signs of knowing Harper was there thankfully.

"Yeah, I will," I shot what I hoped looked like an innocent smile at her.

"Good, good," She said, before wiggling her eyebrows. "How was your date?"

I blushed. "Great. Mom, I have to get ready."

"Fine, we'll talk later, now pick up the pace," She ordered, walking out my room. However, just as she was about to shut the door, she shot a sly smile at me. "Oh, and tell Harper he can get out of the closet. You have a lot of clothes- he must be suffocating in there." With that, she slammed the door shut.

My mouth fell open.

Harper walked out of the closet, clearly confused. "How did she- "

"I have no idea," I shook my head. "But she's right. We're going to be late!"

"Calm down, baby doll, I'll drive you." The corners of his mouth tug upwards. "See you soon."

He exited through the window.

Around forty five minutes later, we arrived at school. We had agreed together that we would tell everyone about us dating on Saturday instead of today, Friday (yesterday was a teacher work day so students had the day off), so we could have at least one peaceful day. Of course, I had to tell Emma, though. I mean, she was Emma.

I had been in such a rush that I had barely glanced at myself in the mirror in the morning, just throwing on whatever was at the front of my closet and rushing out the door, even skipping breakfast.

Coach had stopped Harper to talk to him about the upcoming game, so I walked to the locker on my own. The walk there was quite peculiar, actually, because people kept stopping to glance at me. Shaking it off, I reached my locker, where Emma was waiting.

"Hey, how was yesterday- " She stopped, eyes flickering to my neck. Her eyes widened and she grinned. "You didn't tell me you two were dating!" She exclaimed.

"Shhh!" I shushed her. "How did you know?"

She rolled her eyes, still grinning in that deranged way that can only be described as purely 'Emma', and dragged me straight for the bathrooms. She shoved me in front of the mirror.

I didn't see much at first, just my normal reflection. But then, when my eyes actually focused on the glass, I immediately zeroed in on a certain area at the base of my neck that was in stark contrast to my white t-shirt.

A hickey.

That asshole.

"I'm going to kill him," I muttered, storming out of the bathroom.

"Wait up!" I heard Emma call from behind me, jogging to catch up. I tried to awkwardly place my hand over the spot on my neck to keep from drawing attention. "What happened?"

"He wasn't mean to tell people yet," I groaned, barging through crowds of students to reach Harper's locker. Finally, I rounded the corner and I saw the little fucker talking to Max by his stuff.

"Harper!" I hissed, approaching him. He took one look at me, surprised, then smirked a little at my expression. The jerk knew I was going to be angry. I stopped right in front of his six feet two inches tall frame.

I removed my hand from my neck, showing him the hickey. I didn't care if Max saw. "You knew about this! Why didn't you tell me before I came to school so I could cover it up or something?"

He smirked. "Must have slipped my mind."

"You're so irritating!" I fumed.

"I couldn't wait another day. I needed to show all those guys trying to go after you that you're taken now," He winked. "They can go find some other girl that actually wants their attention to hit on. Because you are mine, and I am yours."

"You know," I sighed, giving in and leaning against his locker. "Technically, I am not yours. I am still my own individual person."

"I know that," He grinned. "You are beautiful and independent and you don't need me to show the world how smart and strong you are. I call you mine because you're the only girl that I love."

"Ew," I heard Emma comment from the side. "You guys are so sappy."

Ignoring her, I shook my head at him, momentarily defeated and forgetting about the hickey. I pushed myself off his locker, beginning to walk away.

"You're an idiot," I called back over my shoulder to Harper who was grinning like a fool. "But you're a freaking smooth one."

*gasps*

FINALLY, AN UPDATE WOW

sorry, I was on holiday in GREECE OMG IT WAS THE BEST

How are you?

school starts so soon, I'm crying ah

are you excited to go back?

idk grades are scary, man

do any guys actually read this book? IF YOU ARE A GUY AND READ THIS BOOK, COMMENT HERE :)

AH THIS CHAPTER IS THREE TIMES THE LENGTH OF A NORMAL ONE WHAT AM I DOING

I hope it didn't get it boring :/

the last chapter didn't reach the goal but it's okay, maybe this one will!

Btw, if you live in Hong Kong, I have exciting news... I have been featured in the August edition of the Expat Parent Magazine for this book! Go grab a copy if you want to learn more about my writing, or just me in general :)

I hope you have the best day and watch the Olympics!

Goals: 4000 votes?

Dedication: which character from falling too far would you date? (anything and everything goes, I won't judge)

I LOVE YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS <3

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