THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER
Thank you to lovelybeliebers for the beautiful cover <3

Dedicated to: softballgurl0916 (HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY)

It was official.

The principal had said yes, I was presenting the first day back to school, despite his protests that I may not be 'mentally stable' enough to do so.

I yanked my brush through my hair angrily, staring at my reflection in the mirror of my room.

I'll show them.

I can be stronger than they think.

"Hi," I heard a faint voice by the doorway of my room, and I spun around to see Emma leaning on the frame. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, I guess," I smiled softly at her, leaning back onto my bed and patting the space next to me. She sat, and before I could do anything else, she wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace.

"You mean so much to me, you know that?" Emma whispered in my ear, pulling me tight against her. "I might have tried to act all cheerful at the hospital, but I really was worried, you know?"

I hugged her back in response.

"And, Noelle, despite what others think, you are honestly the strongest person I know. I know that you willed yourself to wake up again, because only you have the power to do that, and I know that it pained you to do it, but you did it anyway. I really love you, Noelle. You are honestly the best friend anyone could have asked for."

I held onto her even tighter. "I know I haven't been telling you this often, Emma," I muttered back. "But you are honestly the best person in my life."

And I meant it.

Harper could keep breaking my heart, everyone could keep tearing me down, but Emma was the one constant in my life, the one thing that had never changed. That never would change.

The tender moment was ruined by Emma's comedic sniffing. I pulled away, giggling slightly, tears still brimming my eyes. "You okay?" I laughed.

She nodded before fanning her manicured fans in front of her face as if trying to dry the tears, despite the small smile on her face. "There you go again, making me go so god damn emotional."

I laughed again. She grinned at me and took my hand. "You know, if you get any trouble with people at school, I'm willing to beat them up."

I rolled my eyes. "I can defend myself."

"I know you can," She responded. "I just want to beat some motherfuckers up."

This was the Emma I knew.

"And about Harper? I know you probably don't want to speak about this, but I just wanted to let you know- when we go back to school, don't worry about it. Harper seems like he's 'all that' and stuff but really, you've got him wrapped around your little finger." She dorkily mimed it. "Like I said, don't worry. He's totally your bitch."

I grinned widely at her. "I appreciate that."

The past few days, to put it lightly, had been a mess, despite the fact that I spent my every living hour at home. Mom and everyone I knew had been fussing over me, even my dog, Misha, who somehow had the uncanny feeling that something was wrong.

Well, she wasn't wrong. Nothing felt quite right yet.

The only one who hadn't come knocking on my door, ready to drown me in encouraging words and teary smiles was Harper.

But I couldn't think about him now.

No, not everything revolved around Harper Andrews.

I had a speech to write.

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I stood behind the heavy velvet curtains, my heart racing in my chest. I could hear the principal's voice from behind it, booming through the assembly hall as I clutched the pages of paper with my speech tightly in my hand.

This was it.

I hadn't seen a single person from school since before my coma, except for Emma, Laura, and Max, and here I was, about to go stand in front of about all of them and speak about my social anxiety, something that everyone had been bullying me about.

Freaking perfect.

I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself, fiddling with the fabric of my summer dress as I read over my speech again, terrified that I would somehow screw it up. Emma offered to be up on stage with me while I spoke, but I had declined, insisting that this as my battle to fight, my hurdle to jump over.

And no matter what, no matter how mentally and emotionally demanding it was, I was going to make it.

The past few weeks had been horrible for me. The sadness, despair, the suicide attempt, everything had been just too much. I was pushing to myself to my limits, only to pass them and fall down the huge hole that awaited. Along the way, I had lost so much faith in myself, so much trust that I was relying on not to break down and rip me to shreds.

And this speech, the one I had been preparing for almost the entire school year, was the only way I could redeem myself.

"Now, students of LockWood High, please welcome Ms. Noelle Richards!" The principal's voice echoed through the air. The applause was faint, but nevertheless, it was there.

Nerves clawed through my stomach as I took one last deep breath.

This is it.

You can do this.

I moved through the heavy velvet curtains, and there was a show of blinding lights and familiar faces, staring straight back at me. Harsh, calculating, cruel, sympathetic- it was all there. Hitting me all in the face.

I closed my eyes, debating forcing a smile, but deciding against it. I'd been faking it for too long to let it come back out again.

My eyes fluttered open, and I gently took the microphone from the principal. I felt him lean towards me and whisper in my ear. "You can do this."

Then he was gone, before I could even thank him.

I took my place at the podium, trying not to squirm and collapse on the spot. I was gripping the microphone so tight I could see my knuckles turning white.

Speak.

"Hi." I began, tentatively. Hushed whispers filled the room, and I did everything to stop the panic building in my stomach. "My name is Noelle Richards. You probably know that by now, though. What with all the rumours in this school."

"I- I know what you're thinking. I mean, how could I not? Every single person here is glaring holes into me."

"Why is this pyscho here? This mentally ruined girl standing in front of us, on this stage? What the hell is she doing here? The girl who was so crazy, so out of her mind that she tried to kill herself, tried to ruin everything about her?" I took a deep breath, shattered by my own words. "The truth is," my voice shook. "I don't know. I don't know why she is standing here in front of you. I don't what I'm doing here, and I don't know who to be, right now."

"So many have you seen be in different lights. Some of you hate me, some of you push me down with cruel words, but there are a few, a certain few, who love me more than I could ever imagine, and I don't think you know how grateful I am for that. I know who you are, and you know me, and I know that so many of you are blaming my attempt on yourselves." I tried to stop the tears brimming. "I just want to let you know- that it isn't your fault. Nothing is your fault. I cannot live with myself if you live your life blaming what happened to me on you. It wasn't anyone's fault but mine. You tried to save me, you really did- but you don't understand." The first tear fell.

"You simply just couldn't have. I was beyond saving."

Emma eyes shone back at me from the audience, and her hands were clamped around her mouth, silently sobbing. I saw the tears run down her face, and in that moment, I had never felt so much guilt in my life.

"Nothing was going well in my life. Not a single thing was going my way. Family issues, constant bullying at school, my social anxiety, the love of my life with someone else." Someone's familiar sharp intake of breath rang through the silent atmosphere, but I didn't dare look up.

"I had no one to turn to. I didn't want to tell anyone, I didn't want to burden anyone with my issues. I mean, they could do so much better without having to deal with my pathetic problems. They had lives to live, and I had to respect that. So I did."

"I shut everyone out. Even my own mother. I couldn't let anyone hear about the monsters of my insecurities devouring me from the inside out. I couldn't drag them into my chaotic, dark mind. I couldn't let them bruise with me. So I had to resort to other methods to let go."

"I started to self-harm. One person- he knew about it once. I insisted it was fine, though, and he believed me, when he found out about it at the bookshop. I don't blame him. I can be convincing when I'm desperate." I chuckled darkly, still not daring to look up. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

"I promised you it wouldn't happen again. But it did. Oh gods, it did."

"It got to the point that every time I came home, to a dark, empty house, the first place I would run up to was my bathroom, to the box of razors stashed under my cabinet, and I would just let myself go free. I'd ruin myself, and I would take pleasure in it, knowing that I couldn't mess myself up anymore than I already was. I'd cut and cut until my vision was a dark, hazy red, until I wasn't myself again."

"I would sob, and cry, and tell myself never again. But I couldn't. It was an urge, and obsession, and addiction that could never be satiated- and the next day, I would sure enough find myself in the same spot, maybe in a new soul and new mind, but never with new intentions."

"I didn't think it could get worse. But of course, with my luck, it had to. Trying to fix myself, I got into a relationship. My first, and little did I know, destined to be my worst. I wasn't happy, he didn't make me happy, but I didn't hate him. Everything spiralled down, from there."

"He tried to take advantage of me, he tried to break me apart even more. Luckily, my body got away, but my mind didn't. That moment, when he tried to hurt me a second time, was when I finally broke, all my loosely taped pieces flying apart again. I fell, and I lost what little I knew about myself. I was gone, I was long past trying for the surface, trying to break away. Suddenly, there was nothing left for me in the world. I was broken, long past repairing. So I did it."

"I ran home, and tried to kill myself." Tears were falling down my face freely, and I didn't even try to stop them. "I hated myself. I didn't want to be me."

"And obviously," I gestured down to my flawed body. "It didn't work."

"I know this was meant to be a talk about social anxiety, and albeit you may think differently, that I'm just feeding you this sob story, but it still is. Where do you think the insecurities came from? Where do you think the fear of depending on others came from? Where do you think everything started from?" The panic was building, higher and higher until I could barely speak.

But I can do this.

Not this time, anxiety.

Not this time.

"I know, I can tell, that so many of you struggle with insecurities and social anxiety too. I can see the darkness in your eyes, I can see you try desperately trying to hide it, in fear of what will happen if you let go. Our world- it's harsh and demanding. It will do anything, and believe me when I say that, anything to break you down and rip you apart from who you love and who you are. But promise me one thing, please- " I finally looked up, staring at one person and everyone at once. "Promise me that you will not let go, like I did. Find your life support, and hold onto them as tightly as you can, and don't ever let your fingers slip, don't ever let yourself drown."

My voice was strong now, passionate and ringing through the assembly hall.

"You will get tired, you will wonder if the pain is worth waiting for the moment you wash up on the shore, the moment of bliss when you know you succeeded, the moment of happiness that you don't even know if will ever come. But it is. Hold on, and if you ever get swept away, don't let yourself drown without a fight. If you have to, come screaming and thrashing to the surface."

I crumpled the piece of paper with my speech in my hand, just realising that I had not looked at it a single time since I began talking.

"Because you can do it. You can make it, you will find support, you will find land and you will survive."

The panic was there, racking through my body, but I couldn't care less, too caught in the moment.

"My name is Noelle Richards," I spoke, pounding in my ears. "And that was the end of my new beginning."

It was over.

I was done.

The applause- it was so loud, though.

It crackled through the air, claps and cheers, and astonished stares. But as the panic built and consumed me, there was only one pair of eyes that seemed to match with mine, shining green through the darkness.

And as he stared at me, his eyes the only anchor that stopped me from falling, I found myself thinking that perhaps reading wasn't the cure to my anxiety like it had been at the very beginning of the year.

Perhaps it was Harper Andrews instead.

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I let my toes sink into the soft sand. Emma was beside me, silently comforting and steady with her presence.

All the while we walked the path next to the water, I could hear the distant cheers and hoots of drunk teenagers from the bonfire party that we were heading too.

Yes, I, Noelle Richards, social nerd extraordinaire, was at a high school bonfire party.

"Are you sure you want to be here, Noelle? I mean, I don't know how everyone is going to react to you after your speech and I don't want you to get hurt- "

"It's okay," I cut Emma off. "I mean, I will have to face it all anyway. Why not now and get it over with?"

And I need to talk to Harper.

Emma shot me a small smile. "I really like this side of you. I feel like you're maturing now." Then, as if reading my mind- "What are you going to do about Harper?"

I stayed silent for a second. "I'm going to speak to him. Tonight."

Emma did a double take and yanked me to a stop. "Tonight? As in today? As in at this bonfire?"

I shrugged.

"OH MY GODS THIS IS A BIG DEAL!" She yelled in excitement, jumping up and down in a circle. "MY SHIP IS ACTUALLY AS BIG AS THE TITANIC RIGHT NOW, OH MY FUCKING GODS, OH MY GODS, IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY- "

I laughed and held onto her shoulders to make her stop. "Keep in mind that your ship might also sink like the Titanic." I chided.

Emma simply rolled her eyes. "Sure. Of course. I mean, it's not like he's in love with you or anything."

I laughed, but I couldn't help but think that maybe she was right.

Maybe now that we had both confessed, we could actually start something.

My thoughts were interrupted as we arrived at the party. Suddenly, all eyes were on me, following my every movement sharply. I instinctively held my head down as even the music came to a stop.

No. You are a strong, independent person. Hold your head up high.

So I did.

I pointed my chin up slightly as I walked through the masses of teens, all turning to stare and whisper as I passed by. I didn't stop- not for anything.

"Where are you going?" Emma hissed from beside me.

I merely glanced at her. "To my one true love."

Here goes.

You can do this, Noelle.

I strode forward, finally coming to stop in front of the table. "My love," I whispered to the Oreos. "I am here for you."

"You've got to be kidding me," I heard Emma huff, face palming as I reached for the first Oreo. She slapped my hand away.

"Hey," I pouted. "I was hungry."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. "Okay, Noelle, I know that everybody is going to treat you like you're freaking glass from now on, but not me. I am your best friend at is my role to slap some sense into you. So listen- " She flicked my forehead with my finger. "If you want him, you're going to chase after him. If this is really what you want- " Her eyes softened. "You are going to do whatever the hell you can to get him."

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right." I let my eyes flutter open. "I'm going to go get him. No more waiting, no more stalling."

She grinned and gave me a quick hug. "You go, girl. I already texted Max- they're by the pier."

I nodded, my hands shaking slightly. "Does- does Harper know I'm here?"

"No," said Emma. "You're going to surprise him, and you're going to kiss, and you're going to date, and then you'll be engaged, then you'll get married and I'll be the maid of honour, then- "

I laughed nervously. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

She sent me last one supportive grin, patted my shoulder and walked away.

You're going to do this.

You'll be fine.

If everything goes wrong- just remember what Kylie said. You can be independent and free.

I began walking to the pier, my insides running wild with nerves. Each step I took shook, I stared down at the sand crumbling and falling beneath my feet, the wind blowing the hair away from my face, biting through my thin sweater as the sun set over the horizon.

I would have stopped and enjoyed the scene if it weren't for the fierce blaze in my heart telling me to keep moving, to keep going and never stop until I reached him. I could hear my blood pounding through my whole body, raced with adrenaline. Finally, I made the fateful decision to look up.

I froze.

I could see them.

Max, Axel, and a few other guys were chatting and laughing, sitting on the wooden pier. Just a few feet away, Harper was standing at the very edge, the soft golden light making his jet black hair seem chocolatey brown and dramatising the side of his face. His eyes- they were as green as ever. He didn't seem to be participating in whatever conversation was taking place- just lost in his own thoughts.

I thought I would fall, right there on the spot.

Finally, Axel looked up and caught my eye. His own eyes widened in astonishment, as he whispered to all the guys but Harper, who each turned to face me, shock painting their features. Finally, one of them punched Harper lightly on the shoulder. He looked at the guy, confused, before the guy pointed towards me. Harper turned around.

The moment his eyes met mine, I was gone.

My entire resolve failed- the confident, almighty girl faded in her love for one boy.

It was like no one else was there but us. Just us.

And in that moment, I knew that was all it would ever be.

Something pushed me forward until I was walking, jogging, leaping, sprinting into his arms, his strong hands catching me and pulling me into his sturdy chest, and suddenly, everything was okay.

It wasn't like I just came back from hospital, it wasn't like we had been in a fight for months, it wasn't like I had ignored him for weeks, it was like everything was absolutely perfect. I buried my face in his shoulder, his arms wrapping around my waist so tight I could barely breathe. His lemongrass scent filled my nose, and I couldn't help but break down crying on the spot.

Not in sadness, this time.

In relief.

I was back in my rightful place.

I could feel his heart racing in his chest, pressing against my torso, and I wondered if he could feel mine. His breath was heavy and fast on my neck and sent tingles up my body as I cried into his shirt. I felt him pull away slightly, thankfully not letting his arms slip away from my waist.

"Hey," He whispered softly, his face dangerously close to mine. "Why are you crying?"

I couldn't speak, so I just shook my head. I hit his chest weakly, before striking it again and again, sparks of anger coursing through my veins. "Oh my gods, Harper," I mumbled feebly, not relenting in my attacks, every moment I had cried because of him falling out of me. "I hate you so much."

He let me keep hitting him before I finally stopped, resting my head on his shoulder, completely spent after letting all my heartbreak from the past few months let go. I felt his hands slide to my hips. "You done?"

I paused, my breathing hitched, before nodding. "Yeah."

My whole mind was haywire as I looked around, thankful that the other guys were out of sight, giving us alone time.

Harper Andrews.

You're here.

You're with me.

We aren't fighting.

Everything is okay.

I leaned my head up, pressing my forehead against his. "I'm so happy you're here." I whispered on impulse.

Harper visibly relaxed, albeit taken aback. "You are?" His voice was incredulous.

I laughed lightly. "Of course I am, you neanderthal."

He sighed, and I watched his lips turn into that kilowatt smile that I hadn't seen in so long. "I didn't realise how much I missed your laugh."

I took a sharp intake of breath. "Don't say that," I muttered, letting my gaze skim across his features. The atmosphere was soft and tentative, like a first love.

"Why not?" He asked. "After all, I'm in love with you."

Oh my gods.

I stopped breathing.

Pulling away, I looked at him with uncertainty. "Really?"

He nodded nervously- a sight I never thought I would see. "Really. Noelle, you mean the absolute world to me. I fell in love the moment you yelled at me in the janitor's closet at the beginning of the year, and I haven't stopped since. There is not a single moment in my day when I'm not thinking about you- even when I was dating Bethany- I just- I can't believe I could even try to fall out of love with you, Noelle. I'm such a goddamned idiot."

I shook my head, giggling a little. "That you are," I remarked teasingly. He rolled his eyes and pulled me even closer, eyes darkening with nerves again.

"And you?" He whispered, voice shaking. "Do you feel- anything for me?"

I closed my eyes.

It wasn't the first time, but it sure felt like it.

"I love you, Harper Andrews."

The words had barely left my mouth before his lips crashed down on mine. I froze, before common sense kicked in, and I kissed him back.

Oh my gods.

You have no idea how much I have missed this.

His lips were soft and passionate on my own, pressing me further into him until there wasn't even a centimetre between our bodies. He was kissing me like the first time, like new love and new hope.

He held me like I was going to leave him- tightly and fiercely, and the mere intensity of the kiss made my mind go fuzzy.

Here I was, kissing Harper Andrews.

The boy who I had been in love with forever, the boy who could make my head spin and my heart race with a single touch. The boy that all he ever wanted was to keep me safe and happy for as long as we both lived. The boy who would forever be the first name engraved in my heart.

I felt him grin against my lips, not ceasing in the kissing. His arms tightened around me, and suddenly my feet weren't on the ground anymore and we were spinning and spinning and spinning out of control. Finally, when we both couldn't breathe, I pulled away.

My eyes widened in horror as I looked away from his, breathing heavily.

What if that was a mistake?

I mean, it always has been in the past.

Oh my gods, oh my gods!

I tried to pull away-

"No," Harper whispered, his breath fanning my face softly as his arms tightened their hold on my waist. "I'm not letting you go this time."

I looked up at him in awe. I definitely fell too hard.

But for once, I was completely okay with that.

"I love you," I whispered again.

Harper raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Fishing for more kisses, baby doll?"

I rolled my eyes, stepping back a little and hitting your chest. "Don't act like you don't enjoy them."

"Oh, I'm not acting."

I gasped in mock offence, trying to resist the smile threatening to burst on my face. "Take that back, Andrews."

He grinned and stepped forward again, making me step back. "What if I don't want to?"

"Well you freaking better- " I paused as he took another step forward, opposing his movement by stepping back. "- you absolute neanderthal- " I was cut off by a large pair of hands shoving me backwards through the air.

I let out a gasp as I hit the dark, cold sea water, still fully clothed. Through the nighttime murkiness, I paddled up to the surface only to see Harper still on the pier, laughing his heart out.

"YOU IDIOT!" I yelled, laughing a little. "OH MY GODS, I AM NEVER KISSING YOU AGAIN!"

Harper stopped at that, his laughter dying down. "Wait- you're joking right?"

Amused, I turned to him, treading water. "I won't be if you don't help me out."

Within a second, Harper was bent down by the edge of the platform, reaching his hand out to me to grab. I held onto it, but instead of pulling myself up, I pulled him down, and sure enough Harper splashed into the water beside me, shaking the water out of his hair when he surfaced. I burst out laughing.

He gaped at me in astonishment. "What the- "

"You're so gullible, Voldemort." I giggled, ruffling his hair.

"If that's how you want to do it then, Bellatrix." He smirked, before pulling us to the slightly shallower water so we could stand.

I raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing- "

I was promptly greeted with a whole wave of saltwater splashing over my phase and choking me. I coughed a little, my throat burning and turned to glare at Harper who was trying to cover up a smile.

I heaved my arms up and splashed him back with all my might. I giggled as he nearly fell down.

Smirking again, he splashed me back. What started as an innocent water fight turned into a full on war where water was flying everywhere, and it was difficult to keep your eyes open. Finally, I took a run up in the shallow water and leaped towards Harper, catching him off guard, so he fell and I landed on top of his chest.

His face was inches from mine, and I could still see how red his lips were from our kissing earlier. His green eyes burned brighter than the stars. I tapped his nose lightly. "I win."

He rolled his eyes and settled his hands on my waist. "Whatever you say, baby doll."

I grinned down at him, absentmindedly cupping his face with my hands in the very shallow water. I leaned forward slowly, hearing his breathing hitch a little.

He's so cute.

I pressed my lips gently against the corner of his mouth, and before he could react, I stood up, walking completely out of the water. Harper, however, didn't move, laying in the sand, a dazed look on his face.

Awww.

"You coming?" I mused. Shaking himself out of his state, he stood up quickly, blushing a little. I waited for him to brush his hands off on his soaking wet jeans and stride towards me. We fell into step with each other, heading back to the party.

I looked at him, the sun now set, his face dark in the faded light.

It was funny how we had slotted back together so quickly after the past heartbreaking months. It was like it had never happened, our hearts had never broke, we were just us and that was perfectly normal. We were just joking and flirting like nothing had ever changed.

But in a way, if you looked deeply, there was something strange and different. It was like we were suddenly more open with each other now- no blocked barricades, no brick walls to try and get over. Nothing but maybe a thin glass sheet- but we would break through that in time.

Nothing was forced, nothing was awkward, even the silence we were walking in was comfortable.

I knew, sooner or later though, we would have to talk about everything that happened. But right then, I just wanted to live in the moment.

I don't know, just being around him made me so happy.

Harper glanced at me and raised an amused eyebrow. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

I beamed at him. "I just- "

"Neela? Didn't think you'd be out of hospital so soon," said a bitter voice.

I stiffened.

Harper instinctively grabbed onto my hand protectively as I turned to face her.

"What the hell are you doing here, Bethany?" Harper growled.

"Woah, calm down, Harpie-poo. Just greeting Nancy over here." She drawled, leaning her weight on her left leg and sticking her hip out. She gave me a sarcastic smile, which I returned with a glare.

"Didn't I tell you to stay away from her?" He hissed, pulling me closer. "She doesn't need anymore of your bullshit in her life."

"Really?" Bethany faked innocence, widening her eyes as my veins boiled in anger. "I don't remember you saying that."

"Really?" Harper imitated. "I told you when I broke up with you."

Oh my gods.

What do I do?

Speak up for yourself. It's about time you did something.

So I did.

Before she could open her mouth again, I spoke. "Listen here, Bitchany, I don't why the hell you hate me so much, and I don't think I'll ever know, but just know one thing- I am absolutely done with your shit. Maybe a few weeks ago your words affected me, but not anymore. I may have gone through hell and back, but I learnt one very important lesson on the way- I am not the opinion of somebody who doesn't know or care about me. I will not let your words define me anymore. So please, Bethany, save yourself some time and energy and don't bother me or anyone else again."

Bethany's mouth hung open, utterly speechless. "I- " Before she could say anything more, I began to walk away, dragging Harper with me. He suddenly stopped, right in front of Bethany's awestruck face.

"Oh, and by the way," Harper growled. "Her name is Noelle."

With that, he pulled me away.

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My eyes followed the streetlights as we pulled up in Harper's driveway. I wrapped the dry jacket he had lent me tighter around my shoulders, trying to subtly sniff his lemongrass scent.

"Are your clothes still wet?" He asked, turning to me. I pulled at the soaked fabric of my drenched sweater in response. He cringed.

"Are you sure you don't want your jacket back?" I asked, concerned, scanning over his black t-shirt that was sticking to his chest. "I mean, you must be cold too."

"It's fine- "

"Here." I took it off my shoulder and handed it to him. "I'll be heading home anyway. May as well return it now."

"Actually- " Harper grinned at me. "Want to stay at my place for tonight?"

My eyes widened. "Harper- "

"I don't mean it in that way. Just sleeping. Plain sleeping. Unless- "

I cut off the smirk growing on his face. "Very funny."

He laughed, before coming round the car to open the door for me.

"Wow," I mused, taking his hand and stepping out. "And I thought chivalry was dead."

He mock bowed, before leading me up the driveway, into his house, up the stairs, into his room.

"You want to shower first?" He asked.

"Sure."

He went to his dresser and grabbed some black sweatpants and the Fall Out Boy shirt he wore when he first met, tossing it to me. "Wear that." He smiled.

I grinned, grabbed the clothes and went for a shower. I let the warm water run down my face, running my hands through my hair.

What if he doesn't really love me?

What if he thinks it's love, but it's not?

Stop it, Noelle. He loves you, okay?

Is he going to ask you out, then?

Shaking my head from thoughts, I hopped out of the shower, got changed into Harper's huge shirt and sweatpants and walked back into the room, only to see Harper freshly showered, laying on his bed, shirtless.

Oh my gods.

"Hey," he grinned boyishly at me. "I had a shower in the guest bathroom." I nodded, trying not to look down at his chest, awkwardly standing at the foot of his bed.

"What are you waiting for?" He asked, holding his arms out to me. "I want to cuddle."

Oh my gods, this boy will be the death of me, I swear.

I blushed, before sliding into the bed next to him, letting his arms hold me to his body. From the corner of my eye, I noticed black ink. I turned, his arms still around me, to see the tattoo just over his heart that I had first seen at his basketball game. Back then, I could only see the flash of black, but now I could see it fully.

That-

DORK.

It read- in bold text:

#Kanye2020

Just kidding. It was even better.

I burst out laughing. "You got a tattoo of Harry Potter's lightning scar on your chest?"

Harper's cheeks turned pink. "It's not just that... "

I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm serious!" He exclaimed like a little boy. "Let me explain."

He grabbed my hand and intertwined it with my own, sending sparks up my arm. "Well, first of all, I really like Harry Potter."

I laughed, leaning my head on his chest.

"Second, it- um- it reminds me of you. Like- we were friends and stuff, but I think the moment I really felt close to you was when you yelled at me to read Harry Potter. And I think that's really what brought us together- so I tattooed it to make you permanent in my life."

My heart jumped, and I was glad he couldn't see the blush growing on my face.

"And besides," I could almost imagine Harper grinning. "If you look at it, it looks like an 'N'."

"An 'N' for what... " I asked curiously before trailing off.

An 'N' for Noelle.

Oh my gods I actually think I'm going to faint.

"Why me?" I asked softly. Harper turned me so I could face him, and he sent me that soft smile I had grown to love.

"Because you are literally the best goddamn thing that has ever been mine."

I almost gasped.

Does he-

"I mean," He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I know we're not together. Yet. And I know you're not really ready to get into a relationship so quickly after you were discharged from the hospital and I'll wait for you, I'd wait a million years for you, just when you're ready maybe we could start something and, damn it, I've never been in a relationship where I actually love the girl, and I don't know what to do, and- "

"Hey," I said softly. "It's fine. I'm happy that you're prepared to wait for me. Thank you."

"Don't thank me," he murmured. "I should thank you for actually wanting to be with me. I don't what I'd do if you ever said no."

I grinned against his shoulder, shaking my head slightly. Feeling tired, I moved myself so I was lying on the pillow, facing Harper. He copied my actions so we were face to face and casually slung an arm over my waist, fiddling with his shirt.

"When did you first realise that you like me?" I asked. He smiled as if looking back at past memories.

"At the beach was when I realised it, but I'm sure that I liked you from the very beginning." He responded. "What about you?"

"The day at the bleachers, back when you were actually on the football team. I fell asleep on your shoulder and you missed practice because you didn't want to wake me up."

"Ah," He said. "So you realised it four chapters before me."

"What?" I shot him a curious look.

"Nothing, nothing." He smirked infuriatingly as I yawned a little. "When did you realise that you loved me?" He asked.

"The day before my birthday in Japan. The day before we kissed."

He grinned. "Me too. We fell in love at the same time, then. And- " He cringed. "Sorry your first kiss was terrible. I pulled away and lied that I didn't like you- I'm sorry. I was being a fucking coward because I thought that maybe for you it was a spur of the moment and you didn't feel the same way, so I tried to cover it up."

My heart softened.

All this time, he was just scared of getting hurt.

"That's okay," I whispered sleepily, my eyes threatening to flutter close any second, despite how much I wanted to be awake and just talk to Harper for hours on end. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you any sooner about how I felt. This whole thing could have been avoided."

"Don't apologise to me, Noelle." Harper whispered. "I always feel so guilty."

I giggled slightly, letting the silence ring through the air.

How does he make me so happy?

It's like all my problems disappear when I'm with him.

"I love you," I whispered, before pressing my lips onto his suddenly.

This kiss was like nothing ever before. In my sleepy state it was slow and soft and sweet, like happy memories and chocolate chip cookies. It was like Netflix and vanilla ice cream on a Saturday night, or flowers blooming in spring. It was subtle and sweet and beautiful.

I pulled away, snuggling into Harper's chest.

"I love you too, Noelle." His breath tickled my ear, and I fell into a deep sleep.

SORRY THE LAST PART IS HORRIBLE GUYS SORRY SORRY

AND IK I TOOK REALLY LONG TO UPDATE... SO I TRIED TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU- THIS CHAPTER IS 6,300 WORDS LONG (double the length of a normal chapter)

HEEHEE I'VE HAD THIS CHAPTER PLANNED OUT SINCE THE START OF THE BOOK

OMG IM SO RELIEVED

HOW ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUU <3

HOW'S YOUR SATURDAY?

OMG I'M FOURTEEN NOW AHHHHHHHH

Everyone who went to a 1989 concert (Singapore, night 1 especially)- you'll recognise some of what Noelle is saying to Bethany ;)

Goals: 3500 votes? (pretty freaking aMBITIOUS)

Dedication: Harper Andrews on a scale from 1-10? Noelle?

ILY GUYS SO MUCH

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THIS WAS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER