I splashed the cool water of the tap in my face, clearing myself from impurities. I took in a deep breath, opening my eyes and looking at my forlorn, broken expression in the mirror. My cheeks were red, and the mascara running down my face had now been washed off. My hair was a mess, bits and pieces flying everywhere. My eyes were slightly bloodshot, making the hazel seem to burn brighter. My breath was shaky, trembling with the weight on my shoulders that were desperate to break free.

But I couldn't.

Breaking free would be giving in, giving in to the harsh comments, the cruel judgements, the unspoken lies. I had to show I was stronger than that. Stronger than them.

The lesson I had before, which was still continuing as I stood in the bathroom washing my face and trying to to scrub off all evidence of my crying, had gone terribly. It was PE, and I had just embarassed mysellf terribly, tripping over the jump rope and landing flat on my face. I still remember the echoing sounds of their laughter and rude comments at my clumsiness hollowing out the inside of my ears, reaching deep in to unleash a horrible, piercing bite, opening the gates of my panic and anxiety as I shook with a panic attack on the floor. Though the amount of people shouting at me had minimised due to Harper's reaction at my last panic attack, the number was still unbearably much.

I hated it.

I had immediately rushed to the bathroom, where I sat in a stall and cried, suffering the effects of my panic attack alone as my body broke down with sobs. I couldn't do anything, there was no comfort, no Emma, no Harper to protect me.

Shut up, Noelle. You don't need Harper.

Yes you do, a voice whispered at the back of my mind. I tried to destroy the thoughts, continuing on with my ministrations to clear all running make up from my face, trying to bring my red, puffy eyes back to normal, however, with no luck. I sighed with frustration and flung the paper napkin into the bin. My panic attack had stopped half an hour ago, and I had spent the past time sitting on the floor of the clean bathroom, making up scenarios in my head of a perfect life, without misery and pain. It started off well, but I soon had promptly dismissed it from my mind when I got to my 'imaginary boyfriend'. I was too scared who's face I would see.

The sound of the lunch bell shattered my thoughts as I picked up my bag and made to leave the bathroom before groups of girls would come swarming in to talk about the latest gossip and fix their make up. I exhaled deeply just as I opened the door before sharply holding my breath at the sight of what lay before me.

Amanda freaking Davis.

"So... how did PE go? You know... without Hot Stuff there to save you this time?" she smirked, putting a hand on her hip, her evil cronies of attractive girl snickering behind her. I gritted my teeth, glaring at her. If my eyes shot daggers, she would be dead. Amanda wasn't in my PE class, so I guessed word had got around. Just the thought of it sent more panicked adrenaline rushing through my veins. I desperatly tried to hold it in.

"You know, now that I think of it, it's weird that someone as perfect and sexy as Harper Andrews is trying to hang around you? Why is he wasting his time on a girl like you? You're so boring and ugly, really ugly by the way- obviously not worth his time. He probably just feels sorry for you, you know that right? But how is he lasting so long, hanging out with someone that ugly?" That stung. No, actually, it felt like someone was rubbing salt and lemon juice into a wound. But thw worst part was that it was all true. I knew I wasn't the prettiest or sexiest girl out there, definitely not sexiest, and Harper would probably go for those girls who spend their Saturday nights partying and drinking, definitely not sitting at home studying for an up coming test and reading and fangirling books.

Why do you care what Harper thinks?

I continued to glare at Amanda, my jaw clenching. Normally, I would be too frightened to stand up to Amanda like this, but I felt a growing rage building up in me. Maybe it was the fact that I just hated her, that she was making out with Harper or I was sick of all the panic attacks, the words just came pouring out. "Plastic surgery can fix ugliness, Amanda," I hissed, closing into her, "But nothing can fix stupidity." With that, I barged her aside, a small spark of satisfaction igniting when I saw her astonished expression as I strolled past her and down the corridor, silently praying that I wouldn't trip.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I hung my head low as I shuffled into the cafeteria, hoping desperately that no one would notice me, except for maybe Emma or Max, but they were on a date for lunch today, something that happened once a month. Normally before they went, they would ask for my permission, afraid of leaving me alone, but of course I said they could go, convincing them that I would be just fine in the library, and honestly, I was. However much I appreciated it, I didn't always like it, I didn't always like being treated like I was so fragile, like a was glass on the verge of shattering.

My head still hanging low, I walked to the line in the cafeteria, analysing the wooden floorboards. I could feel eyes on me, despite knowing that they most likely weren't there, I felt them burn, leaving scorch marks in my skin. I suddenly crashed into a hard chest, tumbling backwards at the impact before someone grabbed my arm, keeping me upright. I felt warm tingles travel up my arm where their warm flesh met my skin.

"Woah, someone's eager," I looked up to gaze at the sexy, chiseled face of Harper Andrews, who was smirking and arching an eyebrow cockily. "Can't say I don't mind. I always like the ones in control." He finished arrogantly, winking at me, stroking my arm softly and biting his lip.

Gods he looked so hot.

Suddenly, Amanda's words came rushing back and I darted my eyes away from the player in front of me. "Please, I'm not in the mood," I muttered, intending to say it huffily, but it was ruined by the small crack in my voice as I walked past him. I suddenly felt something catch onto my wrist, making me stop abruptly. I took in a sharp intake of breath.

"Noelle... what happened?"

His words left me in shock. I turned around slowly, not because he was holding my wrist firmly in his grasp, not because it was sending shivers up my spine, and not to tell him what had happened. I turned because of what I heard in his voice, I heard raw concern lacing through his words, stripped of any arrogance or cockiness, just concern. For me.

I opened my mouth to say something, ready to blurt out everything. The PE lesson, the students, Amanda, the social anxiety, the panic attacks, the insecurities that would haunt me at night, the screaming voices in my head, but I stopped before I could blurt out a word, clsoing my mouth quickly. How could I do that? How was I so quick to almost tell him?

Why was I so inclined to trust him?

I bit my lip quickly. He looked disappointed that I hadn't told him anything, that I hadn't confessed, but he didn't push me, just nodded his head in understanding. Suddenly, he started dragging me somewhere, gently, his index finger and thumb hooked around my wrist. "Where... where are you taking me?" I stuttered, confused as he led me out the side doors of the cafeteria, out onto the football pitch. My fingers and toes tingled and I let the warm sun wash over me as Harper continued to keep walking across the grassy football field, towards the bleachers. He still hadn't answered my question. "Where are you taking me?" I demanded, a bit firmer this time. My eyes widened suddenly. "Are you going to kill me here where no one can see?" I gasped, trying to pull my hand away from his grasp. Nobody goes back there. It would be the perfect place to hide a body.

"Please, baby doll, I may be a player but I'm not a criminal." He chided, raising an eyebrow at me, nevertheless chuckling at my terrified face.

Squelch. Squelch. Squelch.

I looked up. He was leading me towards the bleachers. My brain snapped into action, starting to form an escape plan, my mind working quickly. First, I would stamp on his foot to get him to release me. Then-

"Here we are," Harper announced, flourishing his arms out dramatically in front of him. The action made the muscles in his arm flex and ripple. I stood admiring them, before looking away quickly, before he could notice I had been staring. Unfourtunately, he caught me, grinning and winking at me suggestively. Once again, my face flushed red. To avoid further embarrassment, I turned to examine the area Harper had brought me to. It was beautiful in it's simplicity. We had just gone past the bleachers, past the gardener's shed. It had led to a small grove, on the edge of the forest behind our school.

The trees stood, tall and strudy, slips of sun light escaping through the leaves, falling on the grassy forest floor. The bleachers were maybe twenty meters away from us, but we were hidden by the old shed. I surpressed a gasp as I looked around, observing the scene in wonder. "How did you find this place?" I mutter, taking a seat on the dense forest floor, leaning against a tree. I saw Harper approach me, sitting down beside me, our knees brushing as he sat with his legs stretched out in front of him. He didn't seem to notice, but the small contact sent shivers rushing up my spine, increasing my heartbeat.

"I found this place yesterday," he said, slinging his back pack of his shoulders. His eyes were gleaming. "I just needed to get away. Just too many thoughts, you know?" he stated, glancing at me. "Yeah," I said softly. "I know." Of course I did. Of course I knew. Whether it was about books, people, or even school, there were always too many thoughts in my head, and sometimes, it was suffocating. I was awoken from my thoughts at the sound of his voice.

"Here, baby doll, I shall now treat you to one of my killer ham sandwiches," Harper passed a sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap to me, bringing his own out of his bag at the same time. "Thanks," I said hungrily, reaching over to take it from him, our fingers lightly brushing. I stiffened at the contact, and at the sparks, however cliché that sounds, that ran from his body to mine. Harper stiffened as well. That only lasted a second before returned back to his composed state and I took the sandwich awkwardly.

"So... " I began, taking a bite out of what was indeed, a killer ham sandwich. "Why did you take me here if you aren't going to kill me?"

"Why? I can't take a hot girl out to lunch?" he smirked obnoxiously. At the word 'hot' I choked on my sandwich, my face turning bright red, partly from blushing, and partly from the bread lodged in my throat. Harper patted me on the back until I finally swallowed.

Great, Noelle. You can't even eat food without embarassing yourself.

"Thanks," I mumbled. He must think I'm a freak. "Don't worry, baby doll," Harper started, turning his gorgeous being to face me. "I'm used to lots of girls choking when they see me." he gestured arrogantly to himself.

"Yeah, I understand, I can see why someone would gag at your ugliness." I retorted sharply, narrowing my eyes at him. He burst out laughing, clutching his stomach in laughter, while I watched incrediously. Why was he laughing? "Stop it! Stop laughing at me!" I whined, hitting his arm. My furious hand movements didn't seem to affect him. "Stop it!" I whined again as he continued laughing, blushing. I must've sounded like a child.

"I'm sorry, baby doll," he came back up, gasping for air. Gods, even when he did that he looked hot. "I'm sorry, but you really are something different, you know?" Harper said, his laughter resorted to chuckling as he looked me in the eyes. I gaped at him in panic, and brought up the courage to speak.

"A bad kind of different, or a good kind?" I asked cautiously.

"Definitely good," he replied, just smiling now. He looked so good when he smiled. Well he always looks good. Shut up, Noelle! "A girl has never spoken to me like that before, they're usually just flirting." he smiled at me. Okay, I admit, that comment hurt a bit.

"Well I'm glad I'm the first," I blurted out, before slapping my hand over my mout in embarassment. Did I really just say that? I felt my face burn. He smirked slightly, about to say something, surely very cocky, when his gaze caught on my hand covering my mouth. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached out and brought my hand away from my face, his warm fingers wrapping around my own. Our eyes locked, the smile was gone from his face, his body stripped of any arrogance, replaced with a calm serenity. I felt his deep green eyes bore into mine, making me dizzy. They were clear, no haziness, just the startling flecks of bright gold. His eyes kept me in a trance. Our faces were so close together, I could just lean forward a few inches then-

"Noelle?" he whispered, his husky voice instantly making my heart beat quicker. "Yes?" I replied. Our faces were still close together and his hand was still wrapped around my fingers, resting on my knee.

"Can I... can I ask you a question?" he asked, looking down, breaking the beautiful eye contact. "Sure," I mumbled cautiously, slightly wary of what he would ask. "What happened to you in the classroom? When I said... those things to you? And in the corridor in front of everyone?" It was my turn to look down, at our joined hands, unsure if I should tell him. Should I tell him?

Of course I should.

You barely know him, Noelle. And why aren't you pulling your hand away?

Despite what the very negative voice said, I didn't pull my hand away, letting my fingers bask in the warmth and electricity from his body that was so, so close to mine. I opened my mouth hesitantly.

"It... what happened to me... that was a panic attack." I mumbled quietly, still looking at our hands. Our. My voice trembled as I spoke, and I felt his eyes flitter back up to me. His whole body tensed at my words. "I... I have social anxiety. It's when I don't like to be in front of huge crowds of people, I can't stand people judging me, I have terrible insecurities and when it gets too much, I have panic attacks. The panic rises in my body and I... " I struggled for words. "I let go. I feel like everything is suffocating me, like I can't breathe. My insecurities haunt me and I just can't stand it, I just... blow up." I finished, astonished at being so open with my feelings for someone as arrogant, attractive and infuriatingly adorable as Harper.

He was holding my hand tightly now, and he was set into a protective stance, arching himself towards me slightly. He didn't speak, and I waited in the silence. I shouldn't have told him. I shouldn't have told him, it was a mistake for me to think he would care.

I felt something warm against my cheek, his free hand. He caressed my cheek gently, and I stopped breathing, the electricity between us humming like a live wire. He slowly tilted my head up to meet his own intensely blazing eyes. His thumb slowly stroked my cheek as my insides turned to jelly. Why was I letting him do this to me?

"I'm sorry, baby doll," he said, his cool, minty breath washing over my face. "I'm sorry for being a jerk to you, I'm sorry for being an asshole." I giggled slightly when he said 'asshole'. My giggle seemed to light up his eyes.

"It's okay," I mumbled, turning serious again.

"No, it's not okay! I was a huge jerk to you, teasing you, making out with Amanda in front of you, ditching our tour, I am so sorry, baby doll." he replied, fury blazing in his eyes, fury at himself.

"No, please, don't blame yourself," I said. Of course he should blame himself Noelle, he started it!

Yes, but he comforted me.

"It's just so scary," I blurted out, instantly regretting it. Okay, this was getting way too serious. I saw his eyes soften in understanding. "I'll protect you," he muttered, clenching his jaw, making his chiseled jaw bone stick out slightly. God, he was so hot. My heart was running a marathon at his words. I bit my lip, dragging it between my teeth, still staring right into his intimidating eyes, which weren't so intimidating anymore. His attention quickly caught on the action, eyes darting to my lips. I sucked in a breath.

The world around us diasappeared, however cheesy it sounds, and it was just him and I. The heat radiating off his body, his thumb still stroking my cheek, his hand tightly grasping my own. And his eyes, they were so green it hurt to look at, the gold flecks seemed to be burning into my soul. In the best kind of way. He was so close to me. Suddenly in awe of our proximity, I jumped.

"Um, Harper... I- " I stuttered. I wanted him to kiss me so badly. But Noelle- Shut up brain. I don't care anymore. He began to lean in slowly and my breath hitched, watching him close into me. He moved his hand slightly to the nape of my neck, pulling me in as well. I didn't resist, waiting for the moment. Just as our lips were about to touch, so close to brushing, a loud bell rang through the air, yanking me out of my trance.

Lessons were starting now. I leaned back slightly, as did Harper, reluctantly. "We have lessons," I said, my voice cracking. I stood up unsteadily, holding the tree for support. It almost happened. That almost happened. We almost kissed. Or did we? Was he just tricking me? Just trying to play me and break my heart, and brag about? That possibility hurt to think about, like a wound to the chest. He stood up as well, gracefully, unlike my clumsiness, muttering something under his breath in frustration. which sounded like "Damn it."

"I guess we better go then, baby doll," he said, returning back to normal and winking at me as he slung his bag over his shoulder. How could he act like nothing had happened? Like we weren't about to kiss? And to mention, my first kiss. But for him, it would just be one amongst many forgettable ones. I nodded quickly, looking anywhere but his eyes.

We walked in silence apart from a few lines of Harper's meaningless flirting, not mentioning the kiss or my anxiety.

He soon dropped me at my first lesson, managing to get there just a minute before the late bell. I reached my hand out to grab the door knob and turn it open, facing my back to Harper, before he quickly grasped my wrist, making me shiver. I was still in no way over what almost happened.

"Baby doll, you know you can tell me whenever you are in trouble, and I will be there to help you. Okay?" he said. This is the first time he had mentioned my anxiety. I nodded gratefully, looking back at him. He smiled quickly and wrapped his arms around me, obviously causing me to blush, pulling my body flush against his chest in a hug that lasted a split second, before he was gone, turning around the corner of the hallway.

YAY its a long chapter!!! I feel like this chapter was a bit better than the last :)

Ooooooh HarperxNoelle!!! Lets make a ship name... Harpelle? Narper? Leave your suggestions in the comments! Thank you so much, guys!!!!! :)

Please comment, vote and follow! I would love to hear your feedback :)

Opinions?

-A :)