taehyung couldn't believe it. he literally could not fucking believe it.

he sulked as he stepped into the car and sulked as his aunt started driving, pulling out of the driveway and heading down the street.

she was taking him to a home where they treated teenagers with mental health issues, thinking it would help him. it was what his doctor recommended after therapy, and his aunt believed him.

it's ridiculous, taehyung had told them. i'm not going to a home for fucking crazies.

and the doctor had scolded him for calling them crazies before sending him off with a pamphlet about the place.

it'll help you. the boys at the home are all kind, and they're willing to help you.

doctor fucking kim. he was a middle aged man with a stomach that hung over his pants and skin that drooped and taehyung had despised him when they first met. he hated him even more now.

his aunt rambled on and on about things taehyung couldn't find in himself to care about. he shoved earbuds into his ears and turned the music up loud enough to drown out the sound of his aunt's voice.

suburban streets turned into city buildings, busy and crowded with people holding cups of starbucks coffee and donuts for breakfast.

his aunt turned into a less crowded place, somewhere in a more metropolitan part of the city and they drove into a street with houses all along it. taehyung watched the numbers on the doors go up.

39.

40.

41.

his aunt stopped, squinted at the door, and pulled into the driveway. taehyung curled into himself, wishing himself away so that he could disappear before he had to get out of the car. much to his despair, his wish didn't come true and his aunt opened the door beside him, wrapping her fingers around his arm and pulling him out from his seat.

taehyung glared at her and made his way to the back of the car to get his backpack.

they walked up the driveway side by side and were greeted by a tall, dark brown haired boy with a slight build. he stumbled over to them from the front porch. "hi. you're the newbie, right? taehyung?"

taehyung nodded.

"i'm namjoon. nice to meet you. let me show you to your room."

taehyung forced a smile and followed namjoon into the house and then up the stairs. the stairs were quite long, and taehyung noted that it would be enough for him to run up and down to burn calories. eventually, namjoon led him into a big room with three beds.

"you're sharing the room with jimin and jungkook," namjoon said. "we try to group people into their rooms by age. jimin's the same age as you and jungkook's two years younger."

taehyung looked around. in the far left of the room was a bed with plain, navy blue bedsheets with a desk beside it. on the desk was a pile of papers and black pens strewn all over. sketches covered most of the left wall, and taehyung couldn't take his eyes off the drawings.

the middle bed was clad in white sheets with stuffed animals everywhere. it was untidy compared to the left area. books lay beside the bed in stacks, one layed out opened with yellow highlighter covering a quarter of the page.

and then there was the right side of the room, which taehyung assumed to be his by how empty the desk and bed were. the bed had white sheets, and taehyung also had the window. outside was a few trees and a highway behind them. taehyung wondered to himself where the highway would take him if he ran away.

"bogum will be around in a bit and tell
you all the rules and stuff, and someone can give you a tour of the house after," namjoon said. "just start unpacking and make yourself at home, taehyung." he smiled and left the room, leaving taehyung with his aunt.

"he seems nice," she said.

taehyung didn't respond, instead unzipping his backpack and stacking the clothes onto his bed.

"taehyung, you know this is for the best, right?"

there was a deathly silence. taehyung stopped unpacking for a moment, something filling his lungs and hatred covering his chest. he turned to face his aunt.

"this isn't going to help me," he hissed. "nothing did, and nothing will. mom and dad ditched me. they threw me out onto the streets with some clothes and shit and moved to the states just to get away from me, because i was too much for them." he was breathing heavily, his nose beginning to sting. "my parents have given up, and i've given up. why can't you give up too?"

and the hatred was gone, emptied from him and replaced with guilt. his aunt's eyes were sympathetic, so filled with pity it made him want to throw up.

"taehyung, just try," she said. "if you try, that's all i can ask of you. your parents left, but that doesn't mean everyone will, okay?" she smiled gently, rubbing his cheek. "i'm here. and now you'll have other people supporting you too, hm?"

taehyung wiped away the tears with his sleeve roughly, and as if on cue, an older boy walked into the room.

"hey. i'm bogum."

"hi."

"i'm just going to go over how things are run here, and then i'll send hoseok up to give you a quick tour, okay?"

"sounds good."

"alright. so we have daily weigh ins for those being treated for eating disorders."

that sentence alone made taehyung want to cry. he absentmindedly pinched at the skin on his stomach, resting his elbow on his prominent ribs.

"i don't monitor meal times, but you're expected to show up whether you eat or not," he continued. "there's group therapy every now and then, bathroom trips are monitored, and i need to take away any electronics you have with you."

taehyung scoffed. "why?"

"it's the rule."

taehyung reluctantly pulled his phone from his pocket, taking out his earbuds and wrapping them around it.

bogum pocketed it and smiled apologetically. "you get privileges when you, in your case, put on weight or help around a lot. just do your best. nothing's taken away if you can't get better quick enough, okay?"

taehyung nodded, forcing a tight lipped smile as bogum left, and once he was out of earshot, taehyung turned to his aunt.

"monitored bathroom trips? he's going to stand outside while i shit?"

"language!"

"what the hell!"

his aunt sighed.

"remember, this is the best for you. just try your best," she said. "if it doesn't work out, then so what? we'll try something else, okay?"

she pulled taehyung in for a hug and a peck on the cheek. a few minutes of hugs and kisses and goodbyes later, she finally left, hand reluctantly leaving taehyung's wrist.

moments later, just when taehyung thought he could finally sit quietly, another boy came in and led him back down the stairs.

"my name's hoseok," he said, and as hoseok kept talking and explaining the house, taehyung felt that it seemed right that he gave the tours. his personality was bright and everywhere he went seemed to light up with him. his voice was chirpy and animated, and his movements were enthusiastic in every possible way.

"i tried to kill myself a year ago. overdosed. and they sent me here," he told taehyung. "i'm almost done with my stay. might come back as a volunteer after i leave."

he guided taehyung around the first floor: the bathrooms, the living room, the backyard and the dining room, which were all nicely decorated and neatly organized.

afterwards, taehyung bid hoseok goodbye and went back to his room, empty and dark. he ran a hand through his hair as he felt his ribs again, poking through the fabric of his shirt.

"newbie's here."

taehyung looked to the doorframe to see two boys, quite obviously the boys he'd be sharing a room with.

one of them came in right away and sat on the bed with the stuffed animals. "i'm jungkook. fifteen."

"jimin, seventeen."

"taehyung. i'm seventeen too."

"what are you in for?" jimin asked.

"anorexia. you?"

"same thing. but i'm only six kilos away from healthy, and once i get there, i can leave within a month." jimin spoke beaming, eyes lighting up. "but it sucks ass, cause six kilos doesn't sound like much, but it took me five months to gain five kilos when recovery started. so it's actually a lot."

jungkook smiled. "he's happy he gets to dance again," he said. "he missed out a lot on dancing because of his eating disorder."

"passed out right in the middle of my performance," jimin said. "they took me to the hospital and tube fed me for a week or so."

"how much do you weigh?"

taehyung regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. he shouldn't have asked; it was insensitive, taehyung realized. but jimin merely smiled and responded without hesitation.

"i was 44 kilos when they brought me in. i'm 54 now," jimin said. "you?"

"i'm 47 now. five kilos from death, apparently."

jimin laughed dryly. "i've heard that before. kook's here for bipolar disorder. his depressive phases come and go every few weeks."

"depressive phases are bad. try not to be around me too much, yeah? i look crazy."

taehyung scoffed. "starving for control- isn't that a little crazy too?" he said.

jungkook shrugged. "maybe."

"can't wait till you meet seokjin," jimin laughed, leaning back into his own bed as he pulled a piece of paper from his desk. "he's the crazy dad. and he laughs like a seal."

"yoongi too. a little darker though," jungkook said. "he's the kind of crazy as in he dyed his hair bright pink in the bathroom the first night he was here."

"bright pink?"

"it's a little more faded now," jimin grinned. "bogum turned bright red. remember that?"

jungkook laughed, eyes crinkling into crescents.

"you're going to like it here. i found that it's nice to be with people like myself sometimes," jungkook said.

taehyung pulled his knees closer to his chest, running his fingers over his bones again, just to feel them. bones were so beautiful.

"that's good."