"Hey."

Orion plops down next to me, planting a kiss on my cheek. I can't help it--I grin at him instantaneously.

"Hey, love."

He immediately takes my hand, flips is over, and absentmindedly traces his finger over the lines of my palm. It just makes me grin more. It's so endearing. I'm not sure why he does this, but I don't mind at all.

He raises his head and looks at me, a small smile on his lips. "How'd you sleep, babe?"

I love it when he smiles. It's rare, but when he does it lights up my entire day. Luckily the look is becoming more common on him. It's not forced, either. I know him well enough where I can tell when he's just smiling because it's expected of him.

When we're alone he's a lot more smiley. Which is nice. I'm so happy and relieved I can do that for him, bring him that happiness he wouldn't otherwise have.

For a moment I focus on his lips. His cupid's bow comes to two points while his bottom lip is fuller. It gives the impression of a permanent pout; it's adorable, I love it. Over all he has a petite mouth, and it's deep red, like he's just licked them a whole bunch. I'm not sure if they're really that cherry red, or if they just look striking against his ghostly complexion. And one of these days I have to ask him what's with the tiny white scar on his bottom lip, the right side near the middle.

I squeeze his hand and bring his knuckles to my lips, kissing them softly. I then look at him and chuckle. "You slept next to me..."

He grins. Wow, he's in a good mood. A grin is even rarer than a smile. "You know I sleep like a rock. I d'no how you slept!"

I'm always awake before he is. I'm an early riser, always have been. He's a night owl. We compliment each other very well, even down to how we look. Me and my light hair, my tan, my physique. Him and his scrawny ass, his black clothes and hair.

I go back to brushing my lips against his knuckles. His middle knuckle on his right hand has a large scar. On his left are several scars. You wouldn't even notice if you didn't know what to look for. But I know his left hand is worse than his right. Orion's right hand is the hand he throws punches with. His left is the one he used to pick at with his right hand.

"I'm the sun and you're the moon, you know that?" I mutter against his soft skin.

Orion screws up his face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Suddenly Amy's head pops up. She's kneeling on her seat, her hands clamped down on the back of her chair. She rolls her blue eyes.

"Would you guys shut up already? I can't stand how cute you are! It makes me sick."

"Then put your headphones in," Orion snaps at her.

I laugh and she growls. She reminds me so much of her brother. So much so I think that if I were straight I might fall for her. But luckily for all parties involved I'm not straight.

"Maybe I don't wanna," she all but pouts.

Orion narrows his eyes. "Then why don't you prep for tonight's concert?"

Amy taps the side of her head. "You know I don't have to."

"Then bug off."

She sticks her tongue out and goes back to sitting properly in her seat.

"Amy," Gloria chides where she's sitting to the left of us, her head craned down as usual, "leave your brother alone before he kills you..."

I can't help but smirk, looking out the window. I know Amy does things like that just to get under Orion's skin. It's funny, really. I don't have any siblings, so maybe if I did I wouldn't think it was so funny. I know sometimes it actually bothers Orion, but a lot of it is just a back-and-forth game they play.

I love watching it. I know it makes him happy. Anything that makes my Orio happy is alright in my book.

Amy pops up again. "Can we get ice cream?"

Now Orion rolls his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses. "Jesus Christ Amy...I just woke up. Can't you get a grip on your ADHD until I'm fully awake?"

Gloria laughs off to the side, shaking her head. "Sweetie--it's ten in the morning. You can't have ice cream now."

"Says who?"

"Me."

"You're not my mother."

"She's everyone's mother..." Orion mutters.

He's not far from the truth. Gloria really is like everyone's surrogate mother while we're on the road. It's sweet. I don't know if all musician's managers are as great as Gloria, but Orion, Jake, and Ben really lucked out when they found her.

I lean over, whispering in Orion's ear. "I'd like to cover you in ice cream and lick you clean..."

His head whips around, a slight redness to his cheeks. I smirk. A slow, closed lip smile spreads across his face, looking deviously at me.

"I heard that," Amy says flatly in front of us.

I'm genuinely mortified. "Oh gosh, Amy, I'm sorry--"

"It's okay Gloria!" Amy proclaims, getting to her feet and walking down the aisle, "I've totally lost my appetite for ice cream. Forget it."

Besides me, Orion throws his head back and laughs. From the left side, in front of Gloria, Ben pokes his head out. "What'd I miss?"

"You don't want to--" Amy starts to say, but never gets to finish.

Everything that happens next is a terrifying blur. There's a loud bang and we're all thrown forward. Then everything is spinning. There's this horrifying sound of things breaking and crumpling. I don't know what's happening, all I know is everyone is screaming and everything is moving like I'm on a loop dee loop roller coaster.

The next thing I know everything has stopped, finally. I blink, looking around. We've been in some sort of accident, that much is evident. The bus is on it's side. The front end is completely mangled.

Amy is screaming and crying. Everyone else is silent.

"Amy!" I scream. "Amy, what's wrong?"

Instead of answering, she just continues to scream.

"Amy, I'll be right there. Guys?"

No answer. I'm starting to get really scared. "Guys! I want a head count!"

"What the fuck happened?" Jake calls out.

"I-I'm stuck under a seat," Ben calls out, his voice shaking.

"Are you okay?" I scream back frantically over Amy's hysterics. I'm really, really worried about her.

"I d'no. My leg's stuck. I'm--I'm afraid to look."

"Gloria?"

"I'm here. My side hurts and my neck hurts but I think I'm okay." A pause and then she becomes hysterical. "My face is covered in blood. I don't know where it's coming from. I can't--I can't see out of one eye--"

Everything after that I have no idea, because she's slipped into hysterical Spanish.

"Amy!" I scream, "I really need to know if you're hurt, hun!"

No reply except her screams.

"Amy, hold tight, I'm coming to you."

I move to get up but I can't. I can't because Orion's limp body is on top of me. He's not moving, his eyes are closed.

"O-Orio?"

There's a large piece of metal sticking out of his side, and there's a lot of blood. Immediately I take off my shirt, pressing it to his side, not knowing what else to do.

"No...No, no, no. Orio, wake up. Wake up, Orion!"

He doesn't move. He's pale, paler than he usually is. Is he dying? I start to cry and scream.

"Orion, wake up! Open your damn eyes!"

I cup his cheek, feeling bad because I just got blood all over him. His blood. God, why is there so much blood--

"What's going on?" Jake calls out to me.

"Orion's hurt! He's hurt really badly!"

"Fuck! How bad?"

I try, but I can't get the words out as snot starts to drip out of my nose.

"Once I get this FUCKING DOOR off of me, I'll get to Amy," Jake calls to me. "You focus on Orion!"

"I don't know what to do!"

"Tristan," Jake says, and then he screams out a grunt. I hear a bang as he shoves off whatever was on top of him--it didn't sound like just a door. "It'll be okay. Amy! I'm coming to you!"

I press my forehead against Orion's. He can't die. He can't. Not after this past year. This past year has been so good for him--for us. This wasn't fair. He's been through so much, and his life was finally good, and now...Now what? He was going to die on a bus?

I close my eyes and whisper. "Orio, please wake up. Please wake up for me. You gotta wake up."

Still nothing. And so I admit to him something I should've told him a long, long time ago.

"I can't do this without you. Please don't leave me. I need you. Please wake up."

~One Year Ago~

"I do."

Orion looks as though he might spontaneously combust in happiness. He then kisses me again. Before long I'm happily laughing against his lips.

I've missed this. I've missed him. The way we ended, well...It was shitty. I don't blame him though. Not for an instant.

He was out of his mind. He was an addict and severely depressed. I didn't want him to let me go, but what could I do? He was an adult. I wasn't about to stick around and beg him to keep me.

It hurt. Of course it hurt. I loved him more than I ever thought I was capable of loving someone. But if it wasn't what he wanted...I had a life to live. I just wished him the best.

That's all I ever wanted for him since the day I met him. That was so long ago it seems now...Me packing up an amp on the bus. Being floored that I actually saw Orion, my favorite musician. Even more shocked when he took the time to introduce himself to me.

And with that first firm handshake, I saw something in him I had never caught before. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Not with Orion. Seeing him in person was completely different than any magazine cover I saw, different than any time I saw him in concert.

I saw he was fundamentally broken. He looked sad, so sad. It was startling. I've never seen someone look like that before, outside of a funeral. It was all over his face, in his eyes. Even when he smiled there was nothing behind it. It was at that very moment I vowed to make him happy.

It wasn't just because of who he was. As I looked at him, I didn't see the front man of Saturn Mutants. I saw a suffering human being. I saw someone whose guilt and shame and sadness were so profound it broke my heart. He wasn't the Orion Bauwens to me--he was someone I was going to help or die trying.

Orion pulls away. "Is this--is this really happening?"

Getting a grip on my laughter, I nod. His beautiful eyes, the dark orbs of my happiness, grow wide.

"Can I--" he stutters softly, "may I--may I kiss you?"

I pull him into another kiss. After a while it becomes intense, and I'm hoping it's foreshadowing of what's to come later tonight. I pull away. Orion sucks his bottom lip into his mouth--I instinctively tug it out. He smiles at me.

"I don't do that anymore...Bite on it, I mean. Or anything like that."

I kiss him again, and when I pull away I can't help but grin. "That makes me so happy to hear."

For a moment all we can do is stare at one another, as though we've never seen each other before. I don't know what he's doing, but for me I'm retracing every detail of his face. Every line, every crinkle, every crease. I put it all to memory, although a lot of it I don't have to, having memorized most everything about him years ago.

"Orio?"

"Yes?"

"Could we get off this balcony now? It's making me really nervous."

He laughs and swings his feet back over. "Of course."

I cautiously do the same, gripping the stone and hop down. He looks at me. If I could capture that look, that look of fond quizzicality, and put it in a bottle to save forever, I would. I don't know if he's even aware of how emotive his expressions are.

Unless he's lying. I've unfortunately found out he's pretty good at lying.

My love cocks his head to the side. "I didn't know you were afraid of heights."

"I'm not," I tell him. "Well, not really. I just don't like hanging precariously from a third floor ledge."

"Oh stop," he chides playfully, "you were fine."

"One of the worst jobs I've ever had was working at an oil rig."

Once again he looks confused. "You worked on an oil rig?"

"Yeah."

"Just how long have you been working for?"

"I did a vocational program through my High School," I tell him with a shrug. "You have to be eighteen to work on a rig. I hated it. Lots of precariously balancing on stuff."

Orion chuckles, lighting a cigarette.

"Plus the hours sucked. Twelve hour shifts. I quit not even a month into the job."

He narrows his eyes, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. "Then what'd you do?"

"Became a car mechanic."

He laughs. "You say that like it's nothing..."

"My dad owns a shop. So he let me work there until I found something else."

"Huh."

"Yeah...I've known how to fix cars since I was little. He showed me."

Orion takes my hand and flips it over, gently pulling off the white satin glove I'm wearing. He traces his fingertips along my palm, which makes me shudder happily. He brings only his eyes up to look at me, his head tilted down.

I've missed this.

"I knew you had the hands of a manual laborer..."

I can't help but raise my eyebrows. "Observational."

He smiles at me then, which makes me light headed. Gently I pull off his half-mask.

"Hey!" he protests playfully, "now my secret is out and you know who I am!"

I don't feel like being silly right now though. So instead I cup his face with both of my hands, stroking his cheeks with my thumbs. "I just wanted to see the face I've missed for so long..."

We lean in to kiss again but someone clears their throat. Scott is leaning against the door frame, spinning his mask around his finger by the elastic, smirking.

"You two getting along well, it looks like?"

Happily Orion grabs my hand tightly and grins. If he doesn't knock it off I'm going to faint. He's so damn perfect. I could get used to him smiling.

"Yup!"

"Good." Scott turns to leave us.

"Wait!" Orion says suddenly.

Scott turns back around, slipping his mask back on. Orion smirks at him.

"Why do I suddenly get the feeling this wasn't just a congratulatory party you threw in my honor?"

Scott is dressed like a devil, all in black with a cape, his mask red. It's a very detailed mask and is actually a bit disturbing. He throws his head back and laughs dramatically, sweeping his cape around himself. "You'll never know now, will you...?"

As he leaves to go back to the dance, I stare at the man's back. Then I look at Orion. "Is he always like that?"

"Who, Scott? Yeah. He's a fucking actor, Tristan, what do you expect?"

That makes me laugh. I take both his hands then and smile at him, turning him so our bodies face each other. I look at him expectantly.

"So how've you been, Orio?"

He hugs me and takes a deep, unsteady breath. I hope I haven't made him cry. After a moment, he lets out a long sigh, muttering against my shoulder.

"I love it when you call me that..."

I lift his chin up and I'm happy to see his eyes are tear-free.

"Let's go find someplace to talk," he tells me then.

"That sounds perfect."

We find Scott the Devil quickly. Orion asks him where we could go to talk privately. He tells us, providing us directions.

"Just don't have sex, okay? That's just rude, having sex in someone else's house."

Orion flips him the bird, and drives it home. "Fuck off."

Scott merely laughs.

We wind our way through the huge house. Mansion? Estate? I am unsure what to call it. This type of money is...Well, beyond me. Like Orio just found out, I come from a long line of blue-collar workers. I think my ma would faint if she saw this place. I'm not sure if it's something I could ever get used to.

We open the room Scott was talking about. It's...Well, huge. It's about the size of the apartment I lived in briefly in Vermont. I stop myself from sighing while Orion doesn't seem phased at all.

I have to remember to ask him at some point how this ever became normal for him. How do you go from a trailer to being friends with someone who has a house like this? Or heck, living someplace like this. Orion's house isn't that much smaller, I don't think. I can't help but wonder if that's partially why Orion got so screwed up in the first place--culture shock and an inability to adjust.

We sit down at a coffee table and two chairs. Orion picks up what I can only assume is some sort of art piece off the table and begins to fidget with it. It looks like a paperweight, a glass orb that's an opaque black. I can feel myself frown. I don't like that I've made him nervous.

"So how have you been?" I ask him softly.

He looks intently at the sphere he's rolling around in his hands. From below us, we can still hear the orchestra playing music.

"Whatdoya wanna know?"

"Everything."

He glances at me briefly and then back at the orb. Orion lets out a sad sigh. "Look...Before any of this progresses, there are some things I need to tell you."

He looks at me square in the face. I'm not sure I've ever seen him look so serious before. He sets his jaw in determination, and the intense look he's casting me with his dark eyes is admittedly a little frightening. My Orio can be...intense, sometimes.

"I'll be damned if I fuck this up again, Tristan. I wanna get this right. So in order to do that, there's some things I think you need to know about after I broke up with you."

He's making me nervous. But I play it cool, leaning back and crossing my arms. "Alright."

He takes a deep breath and goes back to looking at the orb. "I held a party the day after I threw you out, like I said I would."

I close my eyes.

"I didn't drink though, honest."

I reopen my eyes.

"Um...but." He lifts his head up and looks at me again with the same intense conviction. "I slept with Jake, like I told you at the hospital."

I don't move.

"It was a mistake. Him and I were a thing a long time ago. We'd hook up, but he developed a crush on me so I put a stop to it. But that night we were both really vulnerable."

He glares, though I know it's not at me.

"I was hurt over what I did to you, and I knew I was never going to see you again. And Jake was, well, drunk. So we hooked up."

And now he looks like he might cry, and it kills me.

"But it was just that once, I swear, it didn't happen again after that, and it's not going to. Things are over between us."

A thought occurs to me. After we broke up, I kept in contact with Jake and Ben. Jake never said anything. I guess I can't blame the guy, but it still makes me slightly angry.

As though reading my mind, Orion rushes on. "And please don't hold it against Jake. You mentioned earlier that you called him to score tickets, so I assume you kept in contact. I mean, what was he supposed to do? 'By the way, Tristan, I slept with your ex.' What good would that do anyone?"

"You're right," I say through gritted teeth, even though I can feel the anger starting to seep away. I run my hand through my hair. "That would've just caused drama..."

An awkward silence falls between us.

"Are things weird between you two?" I ask.

"God no."

I somehow don't believe him. "Have you guys...talked about it?"

"Yeah, and we both agreed it was a mistake and it wouldn't happen again."

"Does he still have feelings for you?"

"Doubtful."

I raise my eyebrows. Orio rolls his eyes at me and looks annoyed.

"Didn't I just say I don't want to fuck this up again, Tristan?"

I hold up my hands.

Orion goes back to staring at the orb nervously. "There's something else."

"Go head."

"Er, do you remember that fan of mine at the club? She started crying, I gave her my hoodie?"

"Yeah..."

"Um. So the next day after I slept with Jake I slept with her."

I sigh and rub my face. "You mentioned that in the hospital, too..."

"Yeah...Um. We kinda--we kinda hooked up a lot in that week before I OD'd. And--and once I got outta rehab for the second time, um, her and I were kinda a thing for awhile."

Now I'm pissed, but I remain calm. I'm surprising myself. The level of...jealousy that's bubbling within me is nothing I've felt before. I'm not usually the jealous type, at all.

I glare. "'Kinda a thing'? What's that mean, Orion?"

His mouth flops open a few times. It's rare I get angry, and I can tell he's bewildered. "We dated."

I screw my eyes shut tight. The thought of him dating someone else...And a woman no less...I mean yeah, I know he's not gay, but...It still stings.

Before I know it, Orion is kneeling in front of me and has both of my hands in his own. He's looking up at me desperately. My anger subsides a little.

"I swear to you after her and I broke up I didn't date anyone. And I didn't sleep with anyone."

That makes me raise my eyebrow.

"I didn't want anyone except you. And I know that was stupid, because at that point enough months had passed where I knew I would never see you again, and I knew I wasn't about go the rest of my life without having sex, but--"

I chuckle. "You're rambling, Orio."

He pauses just a moment. "But Tristan, I didn't want anyone else. If I couldn't have you, I didn't want to be intimate with anyone."

He blushes and looks away, speaking softly. "And yeah I know it's silly, but it's how I felt at the time. How I feel." He shakes his head and looks at the ground. "I shouldn't've done that to you, I shouldn't have thrown you out. I shouldn't have slept with Jake and Olivia."

"Hey," I say strictly, forcing him to look at me. "We weren't together, Orio. It's not like you cheated on me or something."

He whimpers and it kills me. "I know but--"

I stop him by running a hand through his hair. "But what, love? You feel guilty?" I shake my head and smile.

For a moment he doesn't say anything, his small red lips slightly parted. Then he blinks a bunch of times. When he speaks I can barely hear him. "What did you call me?"

I can't help but laugh. "Love. Isn't that what you're supposed to call someone you love?"

A few tears spill out his eyes. "Y-you love me still?"

I lean in. "Yes, silly. I told you that I came here to see if I still felt about you how I did. I loved you then, and I still do."

We kiss. And even though Scott asked us not to, we end up making love.

It's perfect. He's perfect. I'm happy when I see him wholly, and his body looks healthier than the last time we made love. He's always been self-conscious about his appearance, but I can't get enough of it. His skin is so smooth, so pale, so soft. He's like a porcelain doll. I love that his dark eyes and hair are such a stark contrast to his skin. It's exotic.

He's fit in a very unconventional way. It's all his jumping around on stage. As I run my hand along his calf, his perfect little calf that I swear has nothing but dark baby-hair on it, I wonder what he would look like if it weren't for his stage antics. I know he doesn't work out, and I know he's had problems taking care of himself...So I'm thankful he gets some sort of exercise on stage.

My hands move up to the small hips I've missed pressing against. Then they travel up his taut stomach, and I can feel the slight indentations of a six pack. Then I allow my fingers to dance along his soft sides, sides which I can no longer feel bone through, and it just feels perfect.

I adore his back, more so now that I can't see his spine very much. I kiss all along it, and I can feel him shudder at my lips. I love his striking shoulder blades. I can tell that even if he weren't as skinny as he is they would be pronounced. I'm not sure why but I find it sexy. My lips travel to where they meet his back, that perfect little nook that I love kissing when we do this. And I can tell he loves it, too, because he shudders beneath me and gives the softest, sweetest sigh.

"You look so good," I compliment him, whispering right behind his ear which makes him whimper and gently grind his backside against me.

I love the little freckle on the small of his back. I love the one right in the middle of his spine. I love the one on his right shoulder blade, and the one right above it on his shoulder. But most of all I love it when he looks over his shoulder at me, and I see absolutely nothing but love in his face.

And when we're done, I'm crying against his back, and I feel so stupid for crying, I hate crying, I never do it. But I'm just so relieved I'm back with him. I'm just so relieved he's taken me back.

And now we've switched roles, and he wiggles in my arms until he's facing me, and he's smiling at me, wiping away my tears. And it's embarrassing but I'm sobbing against him and he's holding me.

"I've missed you so much," I admit to him.

And then Orion is stroking my hair and kissing away my tears, and he's looking at me still with nothing but love. And he smiles at me, and I hope there never comes a time where he ever stops smiling at me.

"I know. And I'm not going anywhere."