"I need to go back to my room," I tell Orion sadly.

"Are you okay?" he asks me.

"Yeah," I tell him, my hands pressed to my side, "I'm just really sore. I want to go lay down for a bit."

"Of course. I love you."

I wince in pain but force a smile. "I love you too."

Orion calls the nurse's station. I'm breathing in short little gasps, but doing it as quietly as I can. When the nurse hangs up, I force a smile at Orion.

"Maybe if we ask nicely they'll let us have a room together."

"That'd be nice..." He gives me a concerned look. "Are you sure you're okay babe?"

"Yes love. Just tired..."

Just then the nurse from earlier comes in and smiles. "Ready Tristan?"

"Yup."

As she wheels me away, I look over my shoulder. "I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you too."

Once we're partially down the hall, I drop the facade I could barely manage. I look up at the nurse.

"I think there's something wrong," I tell her, not even trying to mask the panic in my voice.

She looks down at me. "What do you mean?"

I remove my hands from my side and show her the fact they're covered in blood.

~

"The final pressing of the album is happening today," Orion tells me with a huge yawn. "From there it's just gotta be packaged and then it hits the stores! Right on time." He smiles faintly.

I pull him into a hug. We're sitting in the middle of the hedge maze in his backyard. The night's sky looms above our heads, the tiniest pinprick of stars poking through the blackness.

It's quiet. It's peaceful. It's perfect.

Kissing the top of his head, I look down at him. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm?" he mumbles, perfect alabaster face craned up at me. He gives another yawn. "Oh, yeah. I'm just exhausted. Been working so much the past couple months..."

I can't help but frown. "The band could help you...all the final editing and stuff doesn't have to fall only on your shoulders."

"They might fuck something up," he answers immediately.

Honestly that reply surprised me a bit. "Don't you trust them?"

He sighs. "Of course I do. But if they fuck something up, I'd be the one to fix it. That's double-work. I'd rather get it right the first time than waste time."

I nuzzle the crook of his neck. "I get that, but at what expense?"

He twists in my arms to look at me. "Whatdoya mean?"

"When was the last time you slept well?"

"I'm fine," he tuts, narrowing his eyes a little.

I give him a derisive look.

Orion rolls his eyes at me. "This happens every time we release an album. It's happened nine times, it's not going to stop for the tenth."

"At what cost?"

He moans. "I'm fine Tris."

"After this though we're going on tour..."

"So? I have time to recuperate between now and then. The tour doesn't even start for another couple weeks..."

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself between now and then?"

"I always do."

I can't help but roll my eyes.

"What?" he snaps, but at the end turns it into a whine so he doesn't come off as angry.

"Orion..."

I'm rubbing my thumb along his black ring. I bring his hand to my mouth and kiss it before speaking.

"Um. You--you are getting help for your OCD, right?"

He blinks. But I'm relieved when he's not angry. "Yeah. Why?"

"Could you explain it to me?"

We shift positions. He's now between my legs, my knees drawn up, and he leans himself against my chest. The fact he and I are the same height always throws me for a loop; whenever he puts his weight on me, I expect there to be more. But even now that he eats regularly and takes more care of himself, he's still this wisp of a man that feels like he might blow away if a strong gust of wind came around.

"Er, well," he speaks, taking my hand and tracing his finger along it. "There's this thing called CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. It just basically makes me aware of myself and what I'm doing and how I'm thinking."

He shifts, and I can tell he's uncomfortable. But he's kind enough to keep going for me. "And there's talk therapy and shit. And I'm on meds for it, too..." he chuckles. "In addition to my anti-depression meds..."

"Do you think it's working?"

He shrugs. "I d'no? I guess? Sure?"

"May I make an observation?"

He cranes his head back to look up into my face. "Of course."

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"Tristan."

"I'm serious."

He scoffs. "Yes, of course."

"I don't think it's being managed properly."

He twists around, his face screwed up.

"Why do you spend so much time editing at the studio before an album is released?"

"So it's correct."

"Okay...and if you think it's correct, do you double-check everything?"

"Of course. I'm not gonna release a steaming pile of shit."

"How many times do you double-check?"

"As many times as it takes to make sure it's perfect."

I frown at him. "I've been sneaking upstairs. I see you pacing around your room when you should be sleeping..."

He turns around with a huff. I put my chin on his shoulder.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad..."

He sighs. "I know."

I pause. "Honey. What's with the number three?"

He twists around again, looking up at me innocently. "Huh?"

"You eat gummy worms three at a time. You take three little bites of whatever you're eating before chewing. You eat salads three pieces at a time."

His eyes start to go wide.

"You tear off three pieces of paper towels at once. You grab napkins in sums of three, even if it means you end up with extras. Amy mentioned offhandedly to me once that most of your music is written in ¾ time, and she told me that means there's three beats to a measure--did I get that right?"

He nods, looking bewildered.

"You knock three times. You--"

"Okay, okay, I get it dude..." he chuckles.

"Has no one mentioned this to you?"

"N-no..."

"I also noticed whenever you get stressed you start fidgeting with objects. It usually seems to make you more stressed though, like you can't get it positioned right, or maybe like your brain can't decide what the right position even is..."

Orion looks at me in wonder. "You've noticed all that?"

I run a hand through my hair. "Well, yeah. I love you. I've picked up on your quirks. And I know not all of them are, er, beneficial to your well-being..."

Orion suddenly looks like he's going to burst into tears but doesn't. Instead he situates himself, kneeling before me. Gingerly and admiringly he plants his lips against mine. It's a sweet kiss, the kind that makes your heart beat faster, the kind that makes you feel like love is a tangible thing and entangles you in it. Honestly, even if I forget what we were talking about eventually that night, I'm always going to remember that moment, that kiss in the hedge maze beneath the clear night's sky.

When Orion opens his eyes and leans back to look at me, I can still see tears in his eyes.

"I'm so lucky to have you, Tris."