"Any news on Amy?" I ask Jake.

"Same. Still in ICU, still in a coma."

"Orion's family is coming in..." I trail off awkwardly.

He nods. We don't say anything for a while.

"Um," I say, twisting the white blanket in my fists. "There's--there's something I need to tell you, Jake."

He gives me a soft look. "Of course."

"Um. Or--Orion asked me to m-marry him."

Jake's green eyes widen. I look away a second nervously, and then my eyes dart back to his face. "Um, he's serious, too. It's not--it's not just a reaction due to the accident."

"And what did you say?"

"Well, I said y-yes..."

Jake beams at me. "That's wonderful!"

"It is?"

He laughs. "Of course it is!" He leans forward and gives me a mischievous grin. "But only if I get to be his best man."

I can't help it. A slow smile drips onto my face. "I wouldn't have it any other way!"

Jake laughs lightly, and then looks perplexed. "Why did you seem so nervous? Were you like, asking my permission?"

"Kinda?"

"Why?"

"Jake, I..."

I can't find the words. After all this time, after almost dying, I still can't find the words. The more time progresses, the more sympathetic Jake's expression towards me becomes.

He waits for me to speak. He waits until I'm comfortable. It reminds me of those four days I spent at his house. Always respectful. Never making me uncomfortable. He's such a good guy, and I feel like such a shit bag.

"I'm sorry. I was jealous of you."

"I know," he tells me gently.

"I shouldn't have punched you."

"You're right, you shouldn't have."

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. You're a really wonderful person, Jake, and I don't know what came over me."

"Love."

I furrow my brow.

"Love came over you, Tristan. I'm not saying it's okay, but I get it, and I forgive you."

I'm going to start crying at any second now. "You do?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "They told me you tore your incision moving too quickly, and from projectile vomiting and crying too hard. Please don't rip your stitches out again on account of little ol' me."

I laugh. Damn, it feels good to laugh. And as I do, Jake smiles at me with nothing but admiration twinkling in his eyes.

"Jake, I've never had a problem with you," I tell him honestly. "And I'm so sorry I acted like a neanderthal."

He chuckles.

"And I'm sorry my pride got in the way of making things right until it was almost too late."

"Nothing like a near-death experience to put things into perspective, huh?"

"Yup," I laugh. But then quickly the smile on my face slips away and I break down. Jake looks alarmed. "You're seriously a wonderful guy Jake. Between everything you've done for me, and how you handled everything on the bus in the aftermath--"

"Hey, hey don't cry, it's okay--"

"No it's not. Don't pretend it is."

"Hey," Jake repeats, and I'm surprised when he takes my hand. "Seriously, don't screw up your side again. We're going to breathe together, okay?"

"What?" I ask in embarrassment.

He walks me through breathing and counting. After a few minutes I've calmed down. He smiles at me.

"Thanks."

He chuckles, shaking his head. "You have no idea how many times I've done that with Orion. Even back in high school..."

I lick my lips nervously. "Was he...was he always--"

"A wreck? Yeah," he says sadly. "For as long as I've known him. I'm not trying to...stir up anything, but I was the first person he let his walls down for. I was the first person he felt comfortable crumbling around."

I nod. "I get that. And that's...I hate to admit it, but that's why I'm so jealous of you."

"Tristan," Jake says seriously, moss-colored eyes staring into my light brown pools of chocolate caramel, "I love him. And yeah, I love him in every sense of the word."

I'm gonna let him finish before I get angry.

"He doesn't think I still have feelings about him, but I do Tristan. And if you're going to marry him, you need to know that. He doesn't, but you do."

He leans forward. "And I need you to know that because, when you love someone that fucking much, you just want what's best for them. And you're what's best for him, Tristan. It kills me to say it, but you give him things I could only try to give him. You're fixing him, Tristan. I tried, but I wasn't enough."

He smiles sadly. "You're enough. You do what I couldn't. So I'm bowing out Tristan, and there's no animosity on my end, because you're making the person I love more than anything happy and whole."

"Can I hug you?"

Jake leans in and we hug. After a moment he kisses the top of my head.

"I am happy you didn't die, Tristan."

I breathe a sigh of relief. Relief because Jake and I are okay again.

"I am so happy you didn't die, either, Jake."

~

"Ugh, is it ever going to stop raining?"

We're in Colorado. Amy had asked that. It's been raining the entire tour.

The tour so far has been a huge success. The first three concerts Amy performed were a little shaky, but by the fourth she had found her confidence and was playing flawlessly. And, perhaps more importantly, she was enjoying herself.

Her costume changed slightly every night. She had a dark green one, a dark blue one, a dark purple one...And with every costume alteration, Orion's vest changed color to match, too.

The album had been released while they were on tour. They had planned it that way--they wanted to perform the album live first, and do the concerts in tandem with the album's release. The pre-release date was the date of the first live show--the album hit stores and was available for download the third concert date.

It was going smashingly well. News of how phenomenal this show was spread like wildfire, and any concerts that weren't completely sold out suddenly were. Gloria periodically told us what the critics were reporting in with, and so far there had been literally nothing but positive feedback.

Articles gushed about their new experimental sound. It was said they had probably created a new sub-genre, but what that was no one even knew. So right now it was just experimental alt rock. But everyone agreed that Saturn Mutants had stumbled upon something unique.

Everyone loved Amy as an addition. She already had legions of men drooling over her. Then of course there was praise for her musical talents. It was noted repeatedly her rocky start, but once she found her footing she was a powerhouse. Her frenetic piano playing was compared to the likes of Freddie Mercury and Amanda Palmer.

By the fifth concert she was adding flourishes seamlessly. Her self-confidence had come to the forefront, and it was for the better. It didn't go unnoticed, the critics raving about her astonishing improvisational talents. Hearing that only boosted her confidence even more, and by the time we hit the first stage in Colorado she was just as cocky and self-assured as her brother.

"Seriously," Ben bemoaned besides Amy, looking out the window at the pouring rain.

"I like the rain, and even I'm fucking sick of it," Orion agreed from where he sits beside me.

Amy is looking up out the window. We're driving along a twisty road, mountains situated on either side of the highway. Her cheek is smashed against the glass as she strains her eyes up to see as far up as she possibly can.

"I'm worried about a mudslide," Amy says as there's a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder.

"Doubtful," Gloria says, her face illuminated by her tablet.

"What would happen then?" Amy asks, turning to her. "Would we get covered in mud? Would we slide off the road?"

Gloria gives her a patient, reassuring smile. "That's not going to happen, love."

"But what if it does?"

Ben kisses the side of her head. "We're fine."

"Here," Gloria says, "I'll pull up the weather... Alright! There's no advisories in affect right now, and I'm not seeing mudslide warnings. Oh! And tomorrow is supposed to be clear! But then rain again on Thursday."

"Well, at least we'll get a reprieve tomorrow," I say.

"I love how optimistic you are," Orion tells me, nestling against me then.

"One of us has to be," I can't help but chuckle.

"This is a record amount of rain," Gloria says, "and the national weather service does say there's a potential of landslides, but as of right now everything is fine."

Amy still looks worried.

"We'll be fine," Gloria tells her.

"Promise?"

Gloria smiles. "Promise."