fifty one.
lilystem

It wasn't until that night that I would see Driftingsky again. I don't know what he was up to the whole day, that being said I did manage to be alone after my interactions with Sunstreak and Barkwillow.

I laid outside camp, only a few foxlengths away, gazing at the stars. Being even slightly outside of camp made me feel less claustrophobic.

"Hey," He greeted, stepping towards me as I lay gazing at the stars.

"Hey," I turned towards him, watching as he took his place laying next to me.

We were silent, for a while. I could tell he joined me in looking up at the sky, pondering. "Sorry for leaving before. It was just hard." He explained vaguely. I understood.

"Don't apologize. I'm tired of everyone apologizing," I admitted. I probably shouldn't have been so direct, but I couldn't help but feel so transparent around him.

I couldn't see his reaction, but his words spoke volumes. "I understand. It's probably been a lot of that around here."

"Yeah. I just feel pitied." I took a deep sigh, closing my eyes. Everytime I closed them, I saw Cherrystorm's blood hungry eyes. Everytime I tried to find solice, she haunted me. They quickly reopened in fear. I was so done with the fear.

"Everyone looks at me and talks to me like I'm a sob story. The she-cat that lost her sister, almost died and then was forced to kill her clanmate. The cat that can't even walk properly and is forced to deal with the damage that Cherrystorm left me with. The damage I don't even know if I can overcome." My head fell to the side. The words spilled out of me like blood in a wound.

Driftingsky didn't say anything after that. He didn't say anything for a while. Neither did I.

The stars shined so bright, unknowing of the horrifying reality sitting beneath them. Maybe up there, Petalheart knew. She knew what I was feeling, what had happened and what the future held. I just wish if she did, she could hold me and tell me that everything would be alright.

The thought of it all caused tears to well up in my eyes.

"You know you'll always have me, right?"

I blinked the tears away, stunned by the sudden interaction. I sat up quickly, avoiding his gaze. "W-What?"

"I'll be here," He reassured as I heard grass shuffle underneath him. Although I avoided his gaze, I knew he was looking at me.

"Through thick and thin. I know neither of us expected the investigation to hit this point but, I'm here. I always have been and I'm not going anywhere. We've been through a lot, well more so you but I would do anything for you. I'll leave you alone if that's what you want, if you want space or time or whatever I'll give that to you, because I-"

Before I knew it my head dove into his chest as I threw myself into him in comfort. The tears that I thought I had buried within myself welled up and out of my eyes. I felt his tail wrap around me as I held onto him desperately. "Please don't leave me alone." The words whimpered out from my muzzle, weakness oozing out me like sap from a tree.

The silence of the night swelled around us, but I have never felt more comfortable within it.

"I'm not going anywhere."