I was really starting to hate funerals. The last one I went to was for Everly—and that was a fucking bitch to get through. Now I could officially say that the last funeral I attended was that of Cherise Lovette. Loving mother and friend. 

Everyone attended the service. And it was a beautiful service. Each and every one of the people who loved Cherise got up and shared a memory about her. Some stories brought more tears. Some got a few laughs. Then there was one or two, mainly from Nate, that got a cringe reaction. But everyone spoke in her honor. Everyone laid a lily—her favorite flower—on top of her casket before it was lowered into the plot next to Jamie's grandmother. 

Throughout the service, Dani and I never left Jamie by herself. We each stood on either side of her, prepared to catch her if she suddenly lost the ability to stand and fell to her knees. I wouldn't blame her if she did. I fell to my knees at Everly's funeral. Hell, it still felt like I was on my knees in front of her headstone, praying that she wasn't really gone. 

That's what losing a loved one did to you. It brought you to your knees. At some point you might physically get up, but you will always be in that position. Feeling that pain. It stays with you forever. 

"More wine?" 

Roger's voice drew my thoughts back to the present. I was sitting at the bar at Down the Rabbit Hole. Per Cherise's wishes, we were having the reception here. Roger was kind enough to take care of setting everything up for us. He didn't know Cherise as well as us, but he still felt her loss. 

"I'm good, Rog. Thanks." 

Alcohol wasn't going to dull the ache I was feeling right now. I learned that lesson the hard way after Everly died. I spent weeks in my apartment by myself, drowning myself in scotch and whiskey. It didn't make it hurt any less. If anything, it made it worse. Dani is the one who saved me from that hell. If she hadn't have shown up with that damn casserole, who knows what my life would be like now. 

Looking to the right, I saw Jamie and Dani talking with Lanie, Harper and Karma. I wish Jamie had someone to save her from her own hell like my wife did for me. Someone to help her stand up and heal. To get off her goddamn knees. Just...someone. 

Danielle left the group to come and sit by me at the bar. Her eyes were red and puffy. Just like mine and everyone else's. "Jamie's going to head home. She wants some alone time." 

"Should we take her? She really shouldn't drive in her condition." 

"I offered, but she wants to take an Uber. I didn't want to be pushy. As much as I wish I could fix this for her." 

Placing my hand over Dani's, I gave it a squeeze. "You are helping her, baby. You do so much for her. She's lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you." 

She smiled sweetly at my words. "I'm lucky to have you, too. I wouldn't have made it through all of this without you." She looked in the direction of the exit as Jamie left. "I just wish there was more we could do for her. I hate the idea of her dealing with this alone. No one should be alone at a time like this." 

"Maybe give her a few hours then go by and check on her. You can grab some of her favorite food and snacks. Maybe take the girls with you and you can all do a sleepover." 

For a second, she seemed excited by my suggestion. But then she frowned. "I can't sleep over her place. What about Violet? I need to be there to—"

"I'll be with her tonight. I know you don't want to be away from her, and I completely understand if you choose to stay at the hospital, but our daughter is doing so well and is going to be coming home in a week. And you know I won't leave her there alone. If you want to be there for your best friend, it's okay. It doesn't make you a bad mom. You could never be that." 

That smile she had a few minutes ago reappeared on her face. Leaning forward, she kissed me softly before wrapping her arms around my neck in a tight hug. "Thank you so much for being you. I love you." 

I buried my face into her neck, breathing her in. The smell of lavender from the soap she used earlier was strong. But I didn't care. In a way, it made me feel a little better. Because it was her. The love of my life. 

"I love you, too, baby."

Leaving my husband and daughter at the hospital wasn't easy. But right now, I felt like I really needed to be with Jamie. And so did Karma, Lanie, and Harper. They all agreed to meet me at Jamie's place for a surprise sleepover. We were going to arrive with movies, snacks, and wine. You know, the usual emotional necessities. We just hoped that Jamie let us in. 

One thing I knew about my best friend was that she loved her solitude when things got rough. She was like Karma in that way. And what she was going through right now was as rough as it got. So, if she wanted to be alone, then fine. But she was going to be alone with the four of us. 

After parking my car in the parking garage, I grabbed my overnight bag and pillow before walking to the elevator that would take me to Jamie's floor. I knew the others were already here since I saw their cars in the same row as mine. Since we wanted to make a grand entrance together, I knew they were waiting for me by Jamie's door. 

And I was right. At the end of the hall, the three of them were leaning against the wall while they talked quietly. Karma waved at me when she saw me, which led the others to glance in my direction. Once I joined them, we went over the plan again. 

"We're just gonna knock and not leave until she lets us in, right?" Lanie asked. 

I nodded. "Yeah. And just in case she's a little too stubborn, I have a key." 

Karma had a worried look on her face. "What if we end up going in and she gets pissed at us? I don't want to make her even more upset." 

Lanie put a hand on her hip. "I don't care if she doesn't want us in there. We're going. We need to stick together during times like this." 

"She's right," Harper added. "I don't want to upset her more either, but I think being alone isn't a smart idea." 

"Who's going to knock first?"

"I will." Lanie was all over it. Lifting her hand, she knocked on the door a few times. Not a peep was heard from the other side. 

"Try again," Karma said urgently. 

Lanie tried a second time, only this time she did it a little harder. Still nothing. Determined to make sure Jamie was okay, I reached into my pocket for my keys. 

"Let me open the door. We're going in." 

Within five seconds we had the door open, and we all went inside. The two-bedroom apartment looked exactly the same as the last time I was here. I knew Jamie stayed in the hotel for a short time after Cherise passed, but I was so sure she came back here at least once. But it was like nothing has been touched. 

The same half-filled glass of water was in the sink. As was the empty plate that was sitting beside it. To the right was the laundry room. From where I was standing, I could see the basket of neatly folded clean clothes that Cherise sat there before her surgery. Everything was completely untouched. 

Lanie cleared her throat before asking with a nervous tone, "Does anyone else here have a bad feeling, or is it just me?" 

"Not just you," I murmured. "Okay, everyone split up and check the rooms, bathrooms, and the patio. She has to be here somewhere." 

I headed straight to the patio. That was Jamie's usual 'winding down' spot. She liked the fresh air and always said it helped her think. Unfortunately, she wasn't out here now. And according to the girls, she wasn't anywhere in the apartment. 

"I found this," Karma called from Jamie's bedroom. She was carrying a folded piece of paper in her hands. 

We all met back in the living room and stared at the paper. Notes were never a good thing. Karma knew that a little too well. The fresh dose of anxiety I felt caused my throat to feel like I had a bowling ball in it. 

Harper started to reach for the note and pulled her hand back. "What does it say?" 

Karma handed the note to me. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath before unfolding it. "It says...'I love you guys for coming over. It means a lot. But I just need to do this on my own right now. Please give me the space I need. I'll be back. I promise. Jaime.'"

We all looked at each other, too stunned to say anything as we tried to process what we just heard. 

"What does this mean?" Lanie asked in a low voice. 

Karma was the one who said the devastating truth. "Jamie's running." 

Yes, she was. But the question was...where was she running to? 

***

I want to thank everyone who read, commented, and voted on this story! I know it took me so long to finish and I greatly apologize. This past year has been quite a rollercoaster for me. But I'm so glad it's done! 

As most of you know, Jamie's book is next! I'm so excited to get started on it. Make sure to read the epilogue for a sneak peek into Jamie's book and I'll also be posting the cover and blurb for her story!