On the day I graduated high school, I was told that college would be the hardest thing that I would have to go through in my life. 

Then when I got married, I was told that the first year as a wife would be the hardest thing I would have to go through in my life. 

And when I got pregnant...I was told that childbirth was the hardest thing I would ever have to go through in my life.

Turns out that each and every instance was a lie. Something I was simply told to help push me and get me through each experience. One of those it'll-be-better-once-it's-over things. I would have preferred the truth, honestly. I wish my mom would have told me that the hardest, most terrifying thing I would ever experience was the risk that my newborn baby could die. That sitting here and staring at her stats on the machine just to make sure her blood pressure and everything else was in the normal range all day and night—since sleep was impossible—to make sure she was going to make it, was the hardest thing I would ever have to experience in my life.

But no one told me that. Not a single person. So here I was. 

Heartbeat: 178 bpm. Oxygen: 94%. Blood pressure: 63/40. 

Everything is in the normal range. 

"She's doing well," Ryan said softly from beside me. "Everything looks pretty good." 

It took a second for the words to register in my brain. Thanks to the lack of sleep, it seems a little slower at processing information lately. Then there was the loss of Cherise. The whole group felt it like taking a knife in the heart. 

Quiet. Everyone was just so quiet. It was like her death nearly took away our voices.

Cherise Lovette was the heart of our group. Without her everyone was lost.

Nate's been eerily silent and keeping to himself. Karma's been stress-eating and constantly worried about the love of her life as he tried to accept another loss.

Lanie's grief kept her busy in the kitchen baking all hours of the day. She wasn't that great of a baker before. Now she could give Xavi Donnay a run for his money. Poor Ayden added another day of therapy to his schedule after the loss of Cherise brought up old demons for him.

Then there was Jackson. Losing another mother figure after Everly crippled him. He rarely left the bar—and it wasn't because he was working. Roger came back to help keep the bar going while we dealt with this, and I was grateful for it, because Harper wasn't handling this well at all. And with Jackson emptying bottle after bottle of whiskey at Down the Rabbit Hole, Harper was either there with him or with Lanie; reading the directions of whatever recipe she was doing at that time.

Ryan and I...Well, we were here. I was here every minute of every day. Ryan would leave occasionally to check on everyone, saving Jackson for last. He would go to the bar on the pretense of helping Roger, but he was really there keeping an eye on his brother. Then he would come back here.

But not before attempting to check on Jamie, of course. He went by her place multiple times but got no answer at the door or on her cell. I assumed she was staying in a hotel or something. I hoped that was the case anyway.

Ryan's voice broke through my thoughts again. "Baby? You in there?"

I finally looked over at him. "What?"

"You haven't said a word. Are you okay?"

"How can any of us be okay right now, Ry?" I looked back at my daughter. "I'm so grateful and relieved that she's going to make it and have the chance to live a long life, but it came with a tragic cost. One that we are all having trouble dealing with."

Wrapping an arm around my waist, he pulled my body flush against his. "I know, Dani. I know."

He didn't say anything else. There was nothing else he could say. The fucked-up truth was that there were no words that could make this and any better. It just...was.

The only thing that had a chance of lifting my spirits in anyway, was finding out where my best friend was and that she was safe. I wasn't even going to wonder if she was okay mentally. The answer to that was obvious.

I glanced at my watch briefly. It was almost six in the evening. That meant my mom was going to be passing by soon. Most likely the same time Ryan's dad would be too. They have both been coming every day around dinner time to see the baby and to make sure that we were eating and hanging in there. They were being parents.

Even Ryan's mom was starting to help out. There were a few instances where Ryan told me he spotted her at the bar; and when he asked what she was doing there, she told him she was worried about him. And Jackson.

I was just glad that she genuinely seemed to be turning over a new leaf. Especially with everything we were all going through right now. It was important that each and every one of us stick together and be there for each other. Even Priscilla.

A knock at the door had both Ryan and I turning our heads. We expected it to either be my mom or his dad walking in with multiple bags of food they picked up. But it was neither of them.

"Jamie?" I hugged her immediately. "We've been so worried about you."

Stepping back, I finally got a good look at her. Her eyes were red and puffy. Dark circles that screamed lack of sleep stood out against the paleness of her skin. Her hair was a tangled mess as she tried to brush a hand through it. 

"I know. I'm sorry about that. I just needed to be by myself for a little while. I've been staying at a hotel."

"I'm just glad you're here right now."

Jamie shifted on her feet before saying softly, "I stopped by Lanie's before coming here. She explained that she, Harper, and Karma took care of all of the funeral arrangements for...my mom. Um, it's this Saturday. 2pm."

"We'll be there," Ryan answered before I could. 

Jamie's brows rose slightly before her eyes landed on the incubator. "But what about..."

"My mom and Danielle's mom offered to stay here with the baby. We both want to be at the service. For Cherise. And for you." 

Jamie's eyes were empty, and it nearly broke my heart. I couldn't imagine what she was feeling. None of this probably seemed real to her. She was still staring in my daughter's direction. After Cherise passed away, I was worried about how Jamie would feel about the baby. It wasn't that I thought she wouldn't love her; I was just worried that it would be painful for her. 

Finally, after what seemed like an hour, Jamie looked up at me. "Can I see her?" 

I took a step back to give her plenty of space. "Of course, you can. If you want to touch her, just stick your hands in these gloves that are connected to the incubator." 

"Okay." Jamie took one hesitant step after another towards my daughter. Her lips parted with a small gasp when she finally saw her for the first time since the operation. "She looks so small in here." 

"Yeah, she does," I answered. "But our girl is a fighter. She's going to make it." 

Jamie stuck her hands inside the protective gloves with shaky hands. "Hello, little one. My mom would be—" Emotions clearly overwhelming her, she closed her eyes tight before clearing her throat. "She would be so happy that you're okay. She really loved you." 

Ryan and I exchanged gut-wrenching expressions at Jamie's words. I didn't even realize I had started crying until Ry handed me a tissue. I took it from him and wiped at my eyes. Once I got a grip on my composure, I walked around the incubator so that I could see both Jamie and Ryan over it. 

"She's a strong one," Jamie said with a small smile when the baby wrapped her hand around Jamie's finger. 

I returned her smile. "She sure is. And that's actually what helped me finally decide on a name." 

Ryan's expression was one of surprise and Jamie's was curious. 

"Really?" She asked. "What did you decide on?" 

Looking down at my daughter, I thought about all the different name choices I went through over the past few months. No wonder I couldn't decide. There was only one option for this beautiful girl. 

"I decided that her name should carry the same amount of strength and fight that she does." I looked from Jamie to Ryan and back again. "I've decided on Violet Cherise Hale." 

Jamie's eyes widened. Ryan covered his face with both hands to hide his tears. 

"Ry, I remember that you said naming her Everly would cause too many problems because of the drama with your parents. But Everly's full name was Everly Violet Reese. So, I chose Violet for her first name. I know how important Everly was to you. And even though I didn't get to meet her, I know how much of a strong fighter she was from the stories you told me." 

My eyes went to my best friend next. "There's no question why I chose Cherise for her middle name, Jamie. Your mom saved my baby's life. Even if she was still here, there is no name that would be better. Cherise Lovette was one of the strongest women I knew and has overcome so much." Suddenly I got anxious that it might be a little too much for her. "Is that okay?" 

"I think it's perfect." A tear rolled down Jamie's cheek as she smiled down at the baby. "Welcome to the world, Violet Cherise Hale."

***

We have one more chapter left and the epilogue! I'm SO sorry that this chapter took so long. It was so hard for me to write as you can imagine. I've also had some personal stuff going on. But thankfully I finally finished it! I will definitely have the next one up by the beginning of next week and will post both the last chapter, epilogue, and sneak peak of the next book!

Let me know in the comments what you think of the baby's name!

You guys are the best! 

🖤