26-03-2017

Note: half of this chapter is taken from prologue but I have changed a little bit in the endings. So do read, vote and comment.

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It was a cold night of December. Cool breeze was swirling in the dark black night. There was silence everywhere. Only the sound of wind can be heard.

I was sitting on a wooden armchair, looking at the thick black sky.

The moon shone brightly in the middle of thousands of luminous stars. I was playing with my cellphone, lost in my own thoughts.

Every after few minutes I kept checking my phone and emails wishing someone would make contact. It's been four days since I received a single call or text from anyone. All my so-called friends are quiet as they didn't know me at all. Their ignorance ached my heart.

Looking deeply into the matter I realized it was always me who asks from everyone. It was always me who broke the silence. It was always me whose doors are open for anyone to come and pour their hearts out. But when it was my turn, there was no one to listen to my deplorable story. To comfort me. For the first time I felt lonely in my life. No one was there to listen to my stories, and my tears.

I stood up from my favorite wooden armchair, which I had emplaced in the balcony, so I can comfortably enjoy the tranquil beauty of nature. I slowly paced towards the bathroom with baby steps, blinking back the tears which badly wanted to fall on my bare cheeks just like the little droplets of rain water wants to fall on the dry land. But those rain drops bring life to the dry land and my tears would only bring misery to my faded dark world.

I reached the bathroom and started performing ablution absentmindedly. When I suffessed my face with cold water, I came back to reality and realized my act.

I stopped in the middle, my eyes fixed on the mirror. I looked at myself without blinking my eyes. My face looked so pale and tired, hair tied in a messy bun giving me an eccentric look. I can't help myself and broke into sobs. No one was there to console me, to comfort me, to give me a tight hug. I again felt so lonely. Suddenly my mind flickered to someone who would definitely listen. Who was the only reason for my life. The one true Almighty Allah. At the thought of my Rab, my blubbing ceased. I again looked in the mirror. My hand travelled to my face. I remembered something, I had heard somewhere.

"Allah loves you more than seventy moms could have loved you. Bow down before Him, he won't let you down."

Thus I completed my abulation, walked back to room to collect the praying mat and placed it on the marble floor near the balcony door.

I switched off the lights of the room allowing moonlight to illuminate the room. I took a deep breath as I prepared myself to stood in front of the Creator of the world, the Al-Wadood the Al-Raheem. Finally my heart was at peace.

"And in the rememberence of Allah do hearts find Peace."

I poured my heart in front of HIM, though he knows everything present in the deepest corners of my heart. But I felt like He was listening to me and giving peace and solace to my heart every single second.

I realized that in this world there is only one who would stand with me in every phase of life, who would provide comfort to my sad heart, and who would definitely listen to my entreaties when no one is there to listen. Who would love me unconditionally no matter how much sinful I am.

I finally prayed for the happiness and peace among ummah. I prayed for those who caused me so much pain. Although I had forgiven them. But I lost the trust on people. But on the other hand my trust on Rab becomes more strong.

Wiping the tears I thanked Him for being there for me. I stood up from the praying mat, gently fold it and placed it back to its place and went again in the balcony to enjoy the peaceful moments. I again sat on the wooden armchair thinking of the blessings Allah has provided me. But they were uncountable so I gave up. I was continuously thanking Him for providing her the peace to my vulnerable heart.

Suddenly my phone beeps,

Mum: Walaikum Assalam Darling! I am really very sorry for late reply. But your granny suddenly got ill. We were with her in the hospital from two days. We all knew you would have definitely passed. But when I received your message yesterday, I was totally shocked. This is really unbelievable sweetheart. But don't lose hope in the mercy of your Rab. Whatever he had planned for you is better than you can ever imagine. Trust his plans he will never let you down and I know like the previous year you can do this the following year too. And In Shaa Allah you will succeed with even better numbers this time. Whenever you feel down just remember this beautiful quote by Mufti Menk
"Nothing happens by accident. The Almighty plans every step for us to learn life's lesson. Trust him; keep going, you'll smile in the end."
And dear always remember that we are there for you. Maybe not with you physically but you are there in our hearts.

I didn't know I was crying till the end. Oh how much I feel blessed to have such family that truly cares about me. I offered numerous gratitudes to Allah for his uncountable blessings.

In Shaa Allah I will work hard again. I will make another project. I will be an engineer. I will strive hard to complete my goal. And most importantly I will strive hard to become a better Muslim. Because in the end I will be asked for my deeds not for my degrees.

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The next chapter would be epilogue and then the final author note In Shaa Allah. JazakAllah khairan for being there with me on this journey.
May Allah bless you all..