April 17th.

Day 249.

What's happening to my mind.

I'm so... So confused.

I'm in love with Nate, aren't I?

Then why is my heart throttling itself every time I see... Him?

Him of all people?

Alvin opened the backstage door, and walked up the dark steps to the stage. I followed behind, nodding my head to the beat as the last song of the night blasted through the speakers.

Boy I love the song Fireflies. Owl City is bae.

After trudging up the few steps, I scanned the darkness for Alvin.

Through the dimmed light seeping through the scarlet, thick, heavy curtains, I saw Alvin on his hands and knees, going through the monstrous pile of backpacks.

"Help me look." He grunted, not bothering to look over his shoulder as he addressed me.

In any other situation, I would have rolled my eyes at him and said "Sheesh". Heck, Alvin would be caught dead before asking me for help. And even if he did, I would have never accepted.

But not tonight.

What's happening?

I walked to where Alvin was and got down on my knees beside him. Franticly, we started throwing backpacks over our shoulders to find Alvin's backpack.

I sighed. "I would have brought my phone with its flashlight if it wasn't plugged in for the music."

Alvin didn't reply.

I shook my head. I really, really dislike Alvin.

Normally.

Right now, I was playing it so, SO cool. But on the inside, my heart was melting. My cheeks were flushed. I felt dizzy with my feelings.

Or maybe it was how hot the cafeteria and the stage had gotten during the dance. I DID dance on stage for the last three hours.

What's happening?

We went through lunch boxes, purses, and bags. I think I even found my makeup bag.

Dang it, Alvin's backpack must have been at the bottom of pile.

I kept searching.

Why did I tell everyone to throw their stuff in one pile? Why not spread out? Then this would have been an easter egg hunt, not needle in the hay stack...

I decided to take a short cut and dug my hand deep into the pile, feeling for something, anything...

Alvin's famous diamond sword key chain slipped between my fingers.

Found it.

As I began to pull it out from underneath the weight of a hundred backpacks (more or less), I felt something burning hot touch my hand.

Alvin's hand.

Oh look, he found it too...

I blushed madly in the darkness beside my companion.

"One, two, three, pull." Alvin said, nothing in the tone of his voice implying he was happy we at least found it.

We both pulled together on the strap of the backpack. Bags avalanched onto our knees, so we stood up so exert even more muscle power into pulling the pack out.

Finally, we were triumphant. The bag rose from the pile and dangled freely from our hands.

I let go of the bag and walked away from Alvin.

This is so awkward...

But then why am I loving this little moment alone with him so much?

I bent over, and began to scavenge through the scattered bags: Treading through the air with my head down and arms out.

This went on for a couple moments, not a word spoken between us.

"I could have sworn my makeup bag was around here somewhere..." I said, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.

Alvin was silent. Was he still even in the room?

Nope, I could hear his panting. Apparently I'm not the only one the heat's gotten to.

I shook my head and kept looking for my pink bag in the darkness.

"Becky."

I froze.

My heart beat like a war drum.

I ignored him and continued to gloss around the room.

"Ah! Here it is."

My hands were grasping at the bag when I felt Alvin's hand on my back.

My heart stopped this time.

What's happening?

This can't be happening.

I shot up straight. Alvin flinched at my sudden movement. I turned to see his face, but I all saw was his chest, inches from my face. His bulky, built chest. Bursting from the sea- WHAT THE CRAP WHAT'S HAPPENING?

What...

What's happening?

Why must this boy be so much taller than me?

I tilted my chin to look up at his face.

Big. Mistake.

Somehow his eyes were hogging the what little light was in the backstage, because somehow through the darkness, his almond brown eyes met mine, with clarity of diamonds.

My knees began to buckle. My stomach flipped upside down. My hands shook with the power that of an earthquake.

I broke away from his locked eyes and looked down at the makeup bag in my trembling hands.

"I found my makeup bag." I said, my voice cracking. I fiddled with the zipper of my bag, my fingers spazzing. I finally zipped open the bag, and dug through the contents until I found my lipgloss.

My hands weren't able to hold both the tube and the bag; it was too much weight for my shaking body. So when my left hand gave way, the bag plopped to the ground, the contents spilling out Alvin and mine's feet.

My wrists, hands, and fingers shook violently as they twisted the lipgloss. I pulled the brush from the hollow tube and brought the sticky substance up to my lips.

I spread the lipgloss on my mouth: Hard to do when your hand throws the brush in every direction.

Plus I had a hard time concentrating. I was looking up at Alvin's eyes the whole time.

I've done better touchups.

I stopped putting lipgloss on when I felt it seeping into my mouth, the airhead flavor sweet and glittery. I looked down at the two tubes as I put them together and twisted, sealing the lipgloss. I might have well been having a heart attack at that point.

I put the lipgloss in my left hand and clutched it like a knife. My arm fell to my side.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I will keep my cool I will keep my cool.

I looked down at my feet and let the carbon dioxide push out of my mouth, my lips shaped like I was whistling.

I had my cool back.

What's happening?

I looked back up at Alvin's eyes, determine to stay strong. I am strong, aren't I? I can do this.

You can do this Becky.

I can do this.

"Heh heh, it always comes off after I eat something." I paused, and rethought my wording. "The lipgloss. The lipgloss comes off. It's a pain."

So much for cool.

Silence.

Abort, abort. Now's your timed to escape.

But deciding a time to escape wasn't my internal struggle.

Do I want to escape?

I turned my head to leave when Alvin put his hand on my shoulder.

So unfair. He's not shaking at all.

And now he knew I was.

He leaned closer to me.

No, don't give into him, Becky. He's manipulating you, that's what. He's just playing his little mind games. Alvin has no emotions. Alvin has no feelings.

Feelings for me, anyway.

"Becky." He whispered.

Nope, nope. You're sorcery won't work on me. I don't even know why I agreed to help you find your backpack.

That reminded me of something that was nagging at me. I turned my body to face him again, his left hand still on my shoulder.

"Why did you even need your backpack anyway?"

Alvin dropped his backpack with a clunk, probably landing on my spilled makeup.

"I didn't."

You know in the movies when something of significant value drops in slow motion, and the thud following it is amplified?

That's what happened when my grasp on my lipgloss gave way.

Thud.

Alvin's arms wrapped around me. Like I had lost any control over my body, my hands rose up to Alvin's head and cupped his face.

What's happening?!

Our lips met.

The choirs to Fireflies echoed in the gym, the middle schoolers screaming with excitement. The sweet words of Owl City bursted through my ears, as I stood backstage, lost in the moment. I embraced my first kiss from behind the scarlet curtains.