YUKI

Several months have passed at ang dami ko nang nakasanayan. Una, ang pag-aaral ni Kite. He has been excelling at school. His grades have been shooting up because I saw to it that I spent a few hours of my day tutoring him. Sabik sa karunungan ang kapatid ko. He has always wanted to go to school, even when he was younger, and when Ivan offered that opportunity, he was looking forward to waking me up early in the morning and getting him ready for class.

Ikalawa, itong si Ivan Boselli. Nasasanay na ako sa kapilyuhan niya. Hindi siya ganito noong una ko siyang nakilala but when he confessed his feelings for me, I got to know the real him more.

Ito siya ngayon. Ang pasaway na si Ivan. Nakatitig ako sa kanya na tila isa siyang akyat-bahay na palihim na pumapasok sa bahay namin dito sa squatters area. He was wearing his pajama, which was beautifully adorned with purple embroidery and entirely made of expensive silk. Bakas ko ang putik sa dulo ng pants niya na halatang nadulas na naman sa kanal sa labas dahil sa sobrang dilim.

As he entered my small house from the window, I heard his familiar soft laugh.

"Sabi naman kasing sa pinto na lang dumaan at nang hindi sumabit ang damit sa bintana, e." Palaging ganito ang sermon na natatangap niya sa akin. Ang hilig niya kasing pumasok sa bahay ko ng walang abiso.

"Naka-lock nga kasi lagi ang pintuan mo."

"Bakit kasi ayaw mong tumanggap ng susi ko?"

"I told you several times—" Now he was stuck halfway into my window. He was pulling himself in, pero panay pa rin siya sa pagpapaliwanag. "I can't have a key to your house at baka malaman pa ni Tatay ang tungkol sa inyo."

"Then don't come here, silly." Inabot ko siya para pagkasyahin siya sa bintana. Ewan ko ba sa kanya at ang hilig niya roon dumaan. Kahit kasi naman ako hindi kasya roon.

"Anong don't come, don't come? Hindi puwede. Nandito ang favorite person ko."

Parang pumilantik ang adrenal glands ko bigla. It gave me enough strength to pull him in abruptly, making us both fall to the floor. Ivan landed on top of me. Our eyes met. The full moon eclipsed behind my underwear that was hanging by the window. The darkness made his eyes shine brighter. I averted my gaze, thanking the night for not showing him how red my face has turned to.

"Hello, favorite person," sambit niya. Then he laid his head on my chest. "Grabe, amoy construction. I love it," he teased.

Hindi pa rin ako umaamin sa kanya tungkol sa nararamdaman ko. But Ivan has been vocal about his feelings for me mula nang bumalik siya sa Eastampton. I've been doing construction work whenever he was not in the city, dahil ayaw kong sumama sa kanya sa ibang lugar at walang bantay ang kapatid ko. Luckily, Ivan understood that.

"Oy, ano ba. Wala pa akong ligo." I was trying to stand up but he won't let me.

"Ayos lang, ako nga amoy kanal, e."

Natawa kaming pareho.

"Did you know that Andi moved to New Jersey last month?"

"Seryoso?"

"Oo. Iyong bestie kong iyon, may jinojowa na pa lang American at hindi ko alam." Hindi maalis ang ngiti sa mukha niya.

"So bakit ang saya mo, Ivan?"

"Kasi hindi na ko magdra-drawing ng mga bastos." He made a dopey smile. "Yayakapin ko na lang 'yong bastos."

Hinigpitan niya ang pagkakayakap niya sa 'kin. Hininaan ko ang pagpupumiglas ko because deep down I like it when he hugged me tight.

"Bastos ba 'ko?"

"Oo kaya, exhibitionist remember? Ang hilig mo mag-pose ng hubad sa art class dati."

"Dati 'yon—"

"Kuya Ivan!" Kite jumped down from his bed and rode Ivan from his back. My brother started jumping, which made Ivan Boselli trust himself to that thing between my legs.

"Ivan, wait, make Kite stop."

"I can feel it, Yuki." There was that goofy look on his face. Sinubsob niya pa ang mukha niya sa dibdib ko.

"Siraulo ka, Boselli! Make him stop."

Ivan winked at me at marahan niyang inalis si Kite sa kanyang likod. He slowly carried Kite at sinimulang kilitiin ito. Samantalang ako naman ay kailangan tumakbo sa makitid kong banyo upang asikasuhin ang mas sumisikip kong pantalon.

I stared at the mirror at sinimulang kausapin ang sarili ko. "Kumalma ka Yukihero Azukawa. No. No. Not with Ivan Boselli." I can literally see the steam from my body as it fogged the mirror. I washed my face at kumanta ng limang happy birthday hanggang sa humupa na ang bulkan sa katawan ko.

Pagbukas ko ng pinto. Nakaabang si Ivan sa akin with one of my pants on his shoulder.

"Puwedeng pabihis?"

"Sige." I was trying to look elsewhere, dahil naiilang ako sa reaksyon ng katawan ko kanina.

"Hihiramin ko ulit itong pants mo, okay lang?" He would often borrow one of my clothes when he visited. Hindi pa kasi siya expert sa paglalakad sa kanal sa labas kaya natatalsikan lagi ang likod ng pantalon niya.

"Oo." Nakatingin na ako sa bubong pretending that I was examining it.

"Puwede mo akong samahan magbihis?"

"O—what?"

Bigla niya akong tinulak sa loob ng banyo. Sobrang sikip ng banyo namin. Kailangan tumayo habang naliligo dahil pag-upo ay sakto lang ang posisyon patungo ng inidoro.

"Ivan, what are you doing?"

"Shh! Gusto ko lang may kasama sa loob ng banyo ninyong nakakatakot." I knew he was lying. Ivan was just teasing me because of my body's reaction a while ago.

"Wala namang multo rito tsaka ang sikip dito."

"Dito ka lang, sandali lang 'to."

Mabilis akong tumalikod. I was facing the mirror. I couldn't see his reflection, dahil natatakpan ko siya sa likod.

"Teka, bakit ang init rito?" Sinimulan na rin niyang banlawan ang paa niya.

The heat from me evaporated the water and slowly fogged my mirror.

"Are you done?" tanong ko.

"Yep."

I quickly dashed outside because another minute with him inside a tight space would definitely turn me on again. He came out wearing my loose pants. He grabbed a plastic bag and put his soiled clothes in it.

"Akin na 'yan. Babanlawan ko." I started reaching for his clothes.

"A-yo-ko. I can take care of this at home."

"Pero mangangamoy 'yan."

"Go to sleep. Ayaw kong napapagod ka."

I bit my lips so he wouldn't notice the smile that was about to bloom on my face. He walked towards Kite and they sat on the table and started his lesson with my brother.

We always took turns helping Kite with his homework. Pero wala kaming definite schedule. Ivan would just pop out of nowhere whenever he was free, dahil sa responsabilidad niya sa kumpanya nila. Minsan, napagalitan ko siya dahil nakitulog siya sa bahay overnight, saying that he was free, only to find out na tumakas siya sa ibang bodyguard. If Ate Jasmine had not called me to confirm where he was, he would have stayed the entire week.

Sa dami ng iniisip ko, hindi ko na naman siya napigilan sa palagi niyang ginagawa sa bahay ko. Nakita ko na lang siyang biglang tumayo ang nagsimulang maghalungkat ng mga gamit.

"Inspection time!" Tumatawa pa si Ivan habang hinahalungkat ang drawer sa kusina. "Tingnan natin kung may plastic utensils ka pa rin."

Mabilis ko siyang tinakbo. Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya. "Wala na nga!"

"So bakit ka natatakot na i-check ko?"

I let go. Kahit kailan naman ay hindi ako mananalo sa kanya. Nakangiti siya noong natahimik ako. His smile evaporated when he saw the plastic spoons and forks na nakasuksok sa dulo ng drawer ko.

"Sabi naman nang hindi mo na kailangan ng nga ito, e."

"Pero kasi. Gusto ko lang makasigu—"

"For the nth time, people will not get it by sharing kitchen utensils, Yuki-no-baka."

He continued nagging me. But as he spoke, all I could hear was a lovely song orchestrated by his voice. Grabe, parang naka slow-motion ang lahat. I would watch how he moved his lips. How plum they were. How bushy his eyebrows. The way he batted his lashes. How he shook his head. Ang guwapo niya pa rin sa kahit na anong anggulo. Natawa ako noong mapansin kong namumula na naman ang pisngi niya sa inis. Halata naman kasing hindi ako nakikinig sa kanya. Little did he know, my heart could hear more than my ears during those special moments.

***
"Anong iniisip mo, Yuki?" Nakalatag na siya ibaba ng kama ko, and I could feel Kite climbing the upper deck.

"Tingnan mo 'to. Kakabilang ko sa dami ng kalokohan mo noong mga nakaraan buwan makapunta ka lang rito, hindi ko na tuloy namalayan ang oras." I was talking about his silly persona. Lagi ko siyang nakikita sa TV. Napapabalita rin lagi kung may mga nakakansel na meetings niya dahil sa kung anong dahilan pero alam ko na siya lang ang may pakana noon para makapunta lang dito.

He laid down. I heard him stretch his legs. He liked doing that, dahil kagaya ko, panay siya trabaho. "Yuki, ang sikip sa bahay ninyo," sabi niya ulit habang humihikab. Ironically, he looked comfortable sa masikip naming bahay. Nilingon ko siya.

"I know, hindi mo na kailangan ipagkalandakan."

"Mabantot pa."

"Tss!"

"Maraming ipis." Nakanguso siya sa akin habang inuunanan ang mga braso niya. Hindi ko na siya pinapansin. I knew he was just teasing me.

"Hindi rin conducive for learning ni Kite," he added. Nahuli niyang nagsalubong ang kilay ko. He smiled even more. He knew na pagdating sa kapatid ko ay mabilis akong mapikon.

Sinilip ko si Kite. Tulog na. Binalikan ko si Ivan.

"Alam mo—" Nang lingunin ko siya ay nakaangat na pala ang kanyang ulo. He was facing me habang nakatungkod sa braso niya. When our lips came quite close to one another, I paused.

He met my gaze. Then he looked at my lips. He made a dopey smile. Bumalik ako sa pagkakahiga ko. Nagtalukbo ako ng kumot.

"Kung aasarin mo lang ako dahil sa bahay ko, umuwi ka na sa inyo," naiinis kong saad.

Narinig ko ang mahina niyang tawa.

Umupo siya sa tabi ko. Lumangitngit ang kinakalawang kong double deck dahil sa bigat naming dalawa. I felt his hand slowly grabbing my blanket and gently pulling it down. Naka-pout pa ako nang datnan niya. Magkasalubong ang aking mga kilay at nakapalobo ang aking pisngi.

He was fanning the key card of his unit on his adorable face. Natulala ako sa sunod na niyang sinabi, "Live with me, Yukihero Azukawa."