IVAN

Kanina pa pabalik-balik si Yuki sa likod ng classroom. He was allowed to take the make-up exams. Madali siyang nakahabol sa mga major subjects like math and physics. Yuki is smart. Sisiw na halos sa kaniya ang mga subject na iyon. Naalala ko iyong nakita kong libro ng Trigo sa kama niya. He must have been studying at home; noong mga panahong hindi siya pumapasok.

I was wearing my headset as usual. Tinatangka kong libangin ang sarili ko sa mga piano music ni Yiruma, isang sikat na South Korean pianist.

"Ayaw nga namin, Yuki!" one of my classmates shouted from the back. Even with the thing plugged in my ear, I could hear that shout.

Inalis ko ang headset ko. Mas lalo kong narinig ang pinag-uusapa nila. There, in the back, was Yuki with his circle of friend. I can't remember their names dahil hindi naman kami bliocked section.

"Sige na, I'll do anything," I heard Yuki beg. Nakatalikod siya sa akin samantalang nakaupo sa back table ang mga kakilala niya facing him. "I just need to do it for PE class."

"Dear, I'm sorry, hindi ako magaling sumayaw," sabi noong isa.

"Tsaka ang baduy ng pinapagawa sa 'yo ng PE professor. Walang gagawa no'n," dagdag pa ng isa pa.

"Pare, humanap ka na lang ng iba. Busy kami sa mga parties. Nami-miss ka na nga ng barkada," hagikgik naman ng pinakamalaki sa kanila.

"I'll do it." A girl was raising her hand. "I'll be your special project partner if you go to my condo like we used to—"

"No!" giit ni Yuki. "You know I'm not like that anymore."

"Oh, come on, Yuki. Alam mo namang kaya ka lang kami kinakaibigan is because you give us your favors."

Nakita ko kung paano mabilis na napayuko si Yuki. I could only see him making a fist. Marahan siyang napalingon sa direksyon ko. When he saw me looking at him, mabilis siyang lumabas ng classroom. Then I saw how his friends laughed at him.

Napabuntong hininga ako. I looked at the paperbag filled with children's books na ipapaabot ko sana kay Yuki para maibigay niya kay Kite.

Pero paano ko siya kakausapin when he is like this?

Maybe I should let him cool off?

Tama, Ivan. Hindi mo na problema ang pinagdadaanan ni Yuki.

Napatingin ako sa sketch pad ko. Naalala ko ang pinapagawa ni Andi. I packed my things and went out of the classroom. I went in the direction of the mango tree.

Pinagpatuloy ko ang sketch. I have my reference na kinuha ko sa internet. Tsaka ko na idra-drawing ang mukha ng characters. Naguhit ko na ang katawan ng lalaki na nakahiga sa ilalim ng dalawang lalaki sa lababo. 'Yong sa lalaki na lang sa ibabaw ang kulang.

"Do you mind if we practice here?" Nagulat ako nang marinig ang boses ni Yuki sa harapan ko. That's the problem when I'm daydreaming. Hindi ko napapansin ang nasa paligid ko.

Nakayuko siya sa akin. The sunlight is shining behind the back of his head. Ramdam ko ang mahinang ihip ng hangin sa puno ng mangga, which made the air sweeter.

Hindi ako makasagot. He was about to look down towards my sketch nang bigla kong isinarado ang sketchbook ko.

"Sure," sabi ko na lang. I looked the other way, tryng my hardest not to see his gummy smile.

I noticed this beautiful girl na mukhang mahiyain. She is standing at the back of Yuki. Nakatirintas ang buhok niya at may pink na hairclip. Wala siyang dalang bag. Muli akong napatingin kay Yuki and then I noticed na nakasukbit sa balikat niya ang bag ng babae na kulay pink at may keychain pa na Keroppi.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nagtulak sa akin na ligpitin ang gamit ko at tumayo.

"Sige, mag-pratice na kayo."

Yuki suddenly grabbed my hand. The palm of his hand touched mine for the first time. Then I could smell the scent of mango flowers dancing around us before he opened his mouth.

"No, please don't go, Ivan. Kami na lang ang aalis kung nakakaistorbo kami sa'yo."

His hands were rough, sobrang gaspang. But they were strong. They felt like they cared.

He slowly let me go. Napatingin ako sa kamay ko na hinawakan niya. I was just studying my palm. It's as if I were able to hold the softest soul in the universe in the hands of a boy.

"Ivan," I heard him whisper my name again.

Then I'm back to reality once more.

"I'd appreciate it if you stay, Ivan."

Napayuko na lang ako. Kusa akong bumalik sa puwesto ko. I stared back at him at marahan ko siyang nginitian.

"Sige na nga."

He walked towards his partner. They were a few feet away from me. Hindi sila ganoon kalapit, pero hindi rin sila ganoon kalayo. Rinig ko ang pina-practice nilang sayaw. It's a contemporary dance to the song "Everglow" by Cold Play.

Noong una ay nag-uusap lang sila and Yuki was instructing his partner on what to do. I could hear their conversation, so I decided to plug my headset into my ears. Ipinagpatulouy ko ang sketch ko.

It has been a few minutes, but my pencil won't touch the paper. It's as if hindi ako makapag-concentrate. I was feeling frustrated because I really want to hand this to Andi para makuha ko na ang number ng pinsan niya. I decided to close my sketchpad. Huminga ako nang malalim para maalis ang init ng ulo ko.

Maging ang headset ko ay inalis ko na rin. Maybe the sound of chirping birds can help. Instead of that, sa tenga ko ay umalingawngaw ang chorus ng "Everglow".

Napatingin ako sa dalawa. Yuki was having so much fun. His hands were moving like a balerina; habang ang paa niya ay parang sumasayaw sa ere tuwing tumatalon siya. His partner seems to be enjoying it too. Panay rin ito tawa sa tuwing binubuhat siya ni Yuki at iniikot siya tuwing nasa bridge na ang kanta. They were dancing on the Zoysia grass under the tree kaya hindi sila madudumihan.

That afternoon, I found out that Yuki is not just good at math. He is an excellent dancer too.

Muli kong binuksan ang sketchpad ko. I turned to a blank page and began sketching Yukihero Azukawa.

In the blank canvas, I was able to draw a rough sketch of him habang kasayaw ang sarili niya. His right arm raised in front of him forming half a circle. While is left arm is raised forming half a heart. His legs are crossed as if his drawing is about to spin.

Then I draw his face. His beautiful smile as he twirled under the shade of the mango tree.

***

That night, I decided to go back to Yuki's house. Gusto kong supresahin siya at ang kapatid niya. Nagiging expert na rin ako sa pag-iwas sa mga landmine. Nang marating ko ang tapat ng bahay niya ay marahan akong kumatok.

"Tao po. Yuki? Si Ivan 'to." It has been a few minutes, pero wala sumasagot. "Hindi pa siguro siya nakakauwi," aniko na lang.

Right when I was about to leave, I heard the door next to his house open.

"Kuya Ivan!" It was Kite. Mabilis siyang lumabas ng kabilang bahay at niyakap agad ako.

Napa-squat akong bigla para mapantayan ang tangkad niya. "Ito, para sa'yo, Kite."

He saw the paper bag I brought filled with books. His face suddenly lit up.

"Wow, salamat po!"

"Wait, may isa pa akong supresa sa'yo." Inilabas ko ang spaghetti from my black bagpack.

"Huwaw! Paborito ko 'to!"

Nagtatalon siya sa harapan ko nang may marinig akong boses ng matandang babe na nagmula sa pinaggalingan ni Kite.

"Ah, ikaw pala 'yong Ivan?" saad niya.

"Opo, ako po." Mabilis akong napatayo.

"Ako si Alice. Pasok ka hijo."

"Huwag na ho. Sinaglit ko lang po itong para sa bata." Napatingin ako sa bahay ni Kite. "Si Yuki po?"

There was a slight pause before the lady spoke. "Baka lumabas lang saglit at nagpunta sa trabaho."

Trabaho? Maybe that's what he has been up to. Pero bakit sa gabi?

"Tara rito sa loob."

"Hindi na po, balik na lang po ako next time."

I escorted Kite back to her house.

Nakatitig pa rin sa akin si Aling Alice. Nginitian ko na siya at nang ako ay tatalikod na, mahina niya akong tinawag, "Ivan."

"Po?"

Hindi siya makapagsalita. Mukha siyang may gustong sabihin, pero pinipigilan niyang lumabas sa bibig niya. "Ah, wala. Next time na lang kapag andito si Yuki."

"Ah, eh. Sige ho. Una na po ako."

That was so weird. Noon lang ulit may tumingin sa akin mula ulo hanggang paa. My tatay's friends would usually do that to me. Medyo nakakainit ng ulo. Iyong tipong hinuhusgahan ka ng tingin base sa itsura mo.

Pero iba ang tingin ni Aling Alice. It's as if she was looking at me in hopes of assessing whether I could be trusted. Her eyes do not look like they were about to judge. They were looking at me as if she were studying me to see if I was capable of helping her with something.

Napadaan ako sa gym na dinaanan ko noong nakaraan. It's closed. Not closed kind of closed. Literal na sarado na. There was that small smile on my face bago ko ito muling lagpasan at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad ko.

"Serves them right," I whispered. Sumisipol pa ako habang iniisip ko ang mga sinabi nila sa gym tungkol kay Yukihero Azukawa.