A/n - so this first part is basically a background story, this will play parts in the story so I recommend you read it

You know those movies where the shy lonely girl ends up getting the hottest guy in town and suddenly her life is great? Well realistically I don't think that has ever happened to anyone ever. It's just not how things work, the hot guy in town is never that nice to even give the kind shy girls a chance. But everyone seems to believe that because it happened on TV it can happen in real life, which I think is complete bulls**t.

I was never the popular girl in School but I didn't really try to being honest, I was so focused on my schoolwork to think about them things. Go on call me a nerd but I believe intelligence is power, and call me cheesy but I found school fun and I actually cried when I left.  I live in England and it's basically a law to have a uniform, and in our school our uniform was so ugly  you had to have long blonde locks to be able to pull that off, and me? I had normal brown hair. My school mainly judged people on their looks, it's the main reason I'm so self-conscious these days. It's a shame about the uniform, my fashion sense would've wowed everyone and I would have been worshipped even though my hair was boring and brown

But now I've finished school, I've been slightly lost. I've always wanted to be a dancer but we could never afford dance lessons when I was younger so all I could do Is dream about it. I got a job working at a local diner but my social awkwardness made it torture for me, I just can't speak to people it makes me so nervous. I don't know how it started I guess I just feel embarrassed of what people think of me. I'm now 21 with no job and my best friend Leah is paying everything for me, I live with her so it's not that different she just buys all the food and pays rent for the apartment we live in. She's kinda rich though so I don't really feel bad about taking it from her, that sounds really ungrateful but I never asked her to. She's my best friend so that's just what we do for each other naturally.

Me and Leah have been best friends since we were nine and I was always jealous of her blonde hair and rich family but I never showed it. I am not good at making friends due to how socially awkward and shy I am around people I don't know so Leah has been the only one for me really. Not for her though no, everyone in the school was her friend, they all loved her. But she loved me the most.

My childhood was never easy, my dad left when I was 6 and my mum is an alcoholic. Me and my brother Shane who's older by a year would have to steal food from the corner shop down my street. We'd have to hide cans of soup and spaghetti loops in our shirts and casually walk out. I knew it was wrong but we had to eat. My mum rarely fed us so we had to figure that out on our own, which is not easy for a twelve year old. When my mum had sobered up a bit she got food for us and we didn't have to steal anymore. I hated stealing. I felt so guilty every time but I had to do it or I'd starve. I never go to that store anymore to this day because of how much of a bad person it made me feel thinking of what I did. My brother now lives in California with his girlfriend, and he forgot all about me. When he first moved we would FaceTime once a week, which turned into once a month, which turned into once every few months. I get it he has a life but I still need him, we've been through so much together and I hate him not being near me.