CASSANDRA

I knew something was wrong when Calix came back from his trip to Greece. There was something off in his behavior and I asked him about it but he brushed off the question telling me that I didn't need to worry.

But I knew better. He had been keeping something from me and I started to get worried that there was something wrong and I have this anxiety inside me. I trusted him but I feared that he had been keeping secrets from me.

He also refused to be intimate with me again after his trip. He just held me every night and it felt like his embrace was about to crush every bone in my body.

There was one night when I stirred from my sleep and I peered at him only to see that he was hugging me while I slept while he was staring into emptiness.

I often noticed that he was so deep in his thoughts that he might be with me physically but he was mentally absent. By the tenth day since his return and he was still acting weird I decided to confront him.

"I thought we agreed that we would not keep secrets from each other?" I asked sorrowfully while we were having dinner. "Why do I feel that you are slowly drifting apart from me?"

For the first time since dinner, he focused his attention solely on me. I could see that his beautiful blue eyes lost their sparks, there were also dark circles under his eyes now,  an indication of lack of sleep. He also seemed to forget to shave his facial hair for days.

He couldn't lie to me and say that there was nothing wrong when it was so obvious that there was.

"Why can't you tell me what's wrong? I thought that I was your girlfriend?" I reached out for his hand that was resting on the table but he quickly hid his hand under the table that little gesture of rejection stung.

He took a deep breath while looking at me straight in the eyes unblinking. I could feel that he was having an internal debate at the moment. After what felt like an eternity, he finally took a deep breath ready to share what was going on inside his head for the past few days. "I just found out some shit back in Greece?"

I was automatically on alert. I sat up straight from my chair as I felt anxious for some unexplainable reason. "Is it about us?"

He laughed bitterly and sat back on his chair. "I found out that the man I thought my father might not be my father, after all."

Confusion crossed my face. "What do you mean? I don't understand."

"My mother told me that she had an affair with her ex while still married to my father and now she isn't sure which of the two men is my biological father."

My hands flew to my mouth to hide my shock. I never expected this. "Oh, my God! Are you all right? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

He smiled at me but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I don't want to burden you with this problem, Cass."

"You should still share it with me, I am your girlfriend, after all. And I might offer you some comfort somehow."

"I'm sorry," he said in a low voice while looking in the other direction. "My mind is a mess right now. There is a lot on my mind that I feel that I might lose my sanity at any moment."

I felt sorry for my dearest love. I had no idea that he had been suffering in silence about this shocking news. I felt ashamed for thinking unnecessary thoughts in these last few days regarding his weird behavior I thought he was starting to lose interest in me. I had no idea that he was having a hard time in his personal life.

"That's completely understandable. Just remember that I am always here for you no matter what happens. Hmm?"

"I hope so," he answered cryptically.

"I may not understand what you must be going through right now but I hope that you will find peace at the end, my love," I informed him.

He gave me a sad smile and I got baffled when I thought I saw some unshed tears in his eyes. "Aren't you curious who might be the man who probably got my mother pregnant while she was still married to her husband?"

To be honest, I was curious about who might be that man but it was not my place to pry. I shook my head. "I will wait for you to tell me when you're ready. I don't want to pressure you into things that you might not be ready to share with me."

He groaned as the weight of the world fell on his shoulder. He looked so beat up. "Why is the universe so cruel?"

I gave him a surprised look. "You think so?"

"Yep. Don't you think so?"

I shook my head slowly with a small smile playing on my lips. "I will disagree with you on that. I am forever grateful to fate that I have the chance to meet and fall in love with you. I never thought I could be this happy if not for you."

There it was again, the painful expression on his face that had been telling me what his words could not. I tried to brush off this uneasiness that crept inside me but it was a persistent feeling that wouldn't go away.

"What do you plan to do next?" I queried when silence fell on the dinner table.

He let out an agonizing breath. "I plan to ask for a DNA test to prove my paternity and then I'll see what will be my next step after I see the result."

"I will always be here to support you. Always remember that, love."

"I know..."

*****
Two weeks more had passed and Calix received an important phone call from Greece, he immediately packed his things in the bedroom.

"I need to go back to Greece, Cass," he said while tossing his things in his backpack.

"I will come with you," I didn't know who was more surprised by my announcement--me or him who stopped from his task and stared at me with disbelief.

I knew it was a last-minute decision but I would not be left here to ponder on my thoughts alone and worried to death about what was happening to him in Greece.

He let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't think--"

"I want to be with you," I insisted, gazing at him with pleading eyes. "I don't want you to leave me here."

"What about your work?"

"I will talk to my boss I'm sure he will understand when I tell him that I will be going home for a few days."

He gave me a severe look. "I don't want to be the reason why you are neglecting your work, Cass."

I shook my head resolutely. "I assure you that will not happen. Work is still my top priority. Please, just allow me to be with you in difficult times like this."

"Very well," he conceded after a moment. "But you will not stay in Greece more than a few days. Are we clear?"

I gave him a short nod. Does that mean that he might stay longer in Greece then? I wanted to ask but I knew I didn't have the right to question his decision if he wanted to stay further in our homeland. I took out my luggage from the closet and started packing the things that I might need for our trip.

I wanted to be there for him. Also, I felt that I slowly losing him. I was afraid each passing day that I would wake up one day and he was no longer with me. I didn't know if I could go on with my life without him in it.

No, Cassie, don't think negatively. Calix was just going through something difficult time right now. I didn't need to add to his list of worries. I was sure that he would seek for me when he needed me.

I packed my things in record time. I didn't think much about what to put on my luggage just throwing random things. Besides, even if I forgot something I could just always go to my apartment in Mykonos.

On our way to the airport, I gave Mr. Braizen a call telling him that I needed to go back to Greece for a few days and sorry for the short notice which he was kind enough to allow me to take a leave.

As we waited in the lounge area at the airport waiting for our flight. Calix was still suspiciously silent. I could see in his expression that he was tense.

I wished that he would tell me what was going on in his head right now instead of letting me have this guessing game inside my head. I could also feel that there was a huge barrier between us but I hope I was wrong.

During the flight, Calix was still painfully silent even if we were sitting next to each other inside the aircraft. I felt I might as well travel alone. He was so deep in his thoughts that the cabin crew had to call for his attention a few times before he was snapped back to reality.

It pained me to see him like this. I missed his playful manner and that devilish grin on his face when he was teasing me. Right now, he was far from the Calix that I knew. I didn't have any idea how huge the circumstances were at this time but I hoped he knew that I was still there to support him.

I prayed to God that whatever the man I love with all of my heart had been going through he could find peace in his heart and he would go back to normal as soon as possible.

After our ten-hour flight, we finally arrived in Greece. I glanced at Calix while we were waiting for our taxi at the airport and his expression was grim. He barely spoke to me during the flight and I understand that since he had too much in his head. I didn't want to add to his list of worries.

Once we got to the taxi, he gave me his full attention. "I know you must be tired from our flight. I will take you to your apartment so you can rest."

"What about you?"

"I am going to see my mother," he answered gravely.

"Is this about the DNA test you mentioned to me before?" I asked curiously.

He nodded grimly. "Yes. The result is finally here. I'm surprised that the man willingly gave his DNA sample when I requested it. I thought he would refuse me."

"Maybe because he also probably suspects that you are his son."

He stared at me for a long moment before laughing mockingly. "You think so? If that's the case, then it added to the reason why I'll hate him more than I already have."

I dared to touch his hand and I was half-afraid that he would reject me again just like the last time. But I braved myself and took the risk. I placed my hand over his and surprisingly he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together.

My heart warmed. It had been a while still I felt this warmth like this. This had been the closest connection we had for a while apart from the fact that he hugged me while we slept. We never did anything intimate since then.

If I have to be honest I missed his touch, the feel of his naked body next to me but I understand that he was not in the mood for that and he was going through tough times. I just wished he trusted me more and confined me to his inner struggles.

I am his girlfriend, after all.

But I would not be one of those pushy girlfriends who would demand more than he was willing to share with me. Even if, we are in a relationship I still respect his privacy.

"You know that I am always here for you, right?" I knew that I must sound like a broken recorder but I wanted to remind him always.

A small smile appeared on his handsome face. He even squeezed my hand firmly. "I know, Cass. I know. I just hope that after everything you'll still be here with me."

"I am not going anywhere," I told him with conviction.

His throat constricted with emotion that felt like choking him. "I am afraid that I will lose you if you know the truth."

Something moved in my heart when I saw that painful expression on his face. "Oh, my love, that's not going to happen."

"I don't know how to beat the odds," he confessed. "I think I'm going to lose everything in a blink of an eye."

"Hey, even if that happens, I am still here with you."

His blue eyes gaze at me intensely. "You are the only thing I can't bear to lose. I can't give you up, Cass. I'd rather die than let you go."

I shook my head resolutely. "That's not going to happen."

Our hands locked together for the rest of our trip until we finally pulled in front of my apartment in the city. Calix told the driver to wait he would just see me off. He took my things in the compartment of the cab and placed them to my side.

"Keep me posted, okay?" I requested from him.

He gave me a small smile. "I will."

I tilted my face and ready my lips. It wasn't too much to ask for a kiss, right? I already missed the feel of his lips on me.

It seemed that he understood my request when he cradled my face with his hands and started to lower his head. I automatically closed my eyes waiting for his lips to touch mine but instead, his lips landed on my forehead.

I immediately opened my eyes utterly disappointed. As soon as his lips got contact with my forehead he let it go. "Good night, Cass. I'll see you soon."

I was too shocked to speak and I only managed to nod my head. I watched him get inside the taxi once again and couldn't shake off this feeling that everything was going to end between us soon.

I shook my head. No, maybe I was just worrying for nothing here, grabbing my suitcase I went inside my apartment building but that nagging thought r at the back of my mind.