MIA

The world around me seemed to fade as her words settled in. I blinked, trying to process what Jackson's mom had just said, but it was like my brain couldn’t keep up with the sudden reality being dropped in front of me.

Jackson… leaving?

I blinked again, this time feeling a tightness creeping up my throat, like I couldn’t breathe properly. My hands, still holding the small dog, suddenly felt clammy. I clutched her a little tighter, grounding myself, but it didn’t help. My mind was spinning.

Leaving… Seoul… next week?

The weight of those words pressed down on me, crushing me. I swallowed hard, but it didn’t help. My chest ached. My pulse quickened. How could this be happening?

I stared at Jackson’s mom, hoping—begging—that I had misheard her. But her face was etched with that same sadness, confirming everything. "I thought he told you," she said softly, her voice so calm, like this wasn’t the world-shattering news it felt like to me.

But it was.

It was like my heart shattered into a million pieces, the cracks spreading so fast I could barely keep up with the pain. The idea of Jackson leaving—just like that—without even telling me? My heart ached at the thought. We’d just gotten close again, like old times. We’d just started to feel… normal. And now he was leaving?

"I…" I tried to speak, but my voice was barely a whisper. "I don’t understand," I choked out, shaking my head as if that would make any of this make sense. "He never mentioned it. Not once. Not…" My voice wavered as I realized just how deep the wound was. How could he not tell me?

Did I mean so little to him?

Jackson’s mom sighed, looking down at the rabbit in her hands. "I thought… I thought that’s why you two were spending so much time together again. I assumed he had told you, and that’s why…" Her voice trailed off, and she looked at me with something like regret in her eyes.

No. This couldn’t be happening.

I shook my head again, harder this time, my chest constricting with every breath. "He didn’t," I whispered, feeling the burn of tears starting to well in my eyes. I couldn’t believe this. I didn’t want to.

"Mia, I’m sorry," she said gently, but it didn’t make anything better. If anything, it made it worse. The sympathy in her voice only made the reality more real.

Jackson… my Jackson… was leaving.

And he hadn’t even told me.

I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, piece by piece. The ache, the betrayal, the sadness—it was too much. Tears blurred my vision, but I blinked them away, trying to hold myself together, even though everything inside me was breaking apart. I thought we were closer than this.

I thought I—We—were heading somewhere.

I suddenly felt small, insignificant, like all the moments we’d shared meant nothing if he could just leave without even saying a word. The teasing, the laughs, the flirty smiles—they felt hollow now, like they’d been leading to nothing all along. Just a cruel joke that I had never seen coming.

I could feel my hands shaking, and I gently placed the dog back on the floor, afraid I might drop her. I pressed my fingers to my chest, trying to steady my breathing, but nothing was working. My throat felt tight, my chest felt like it was caving in, and all I could think about was how I had been so clueless, so naive to think we’d have more time.

Next week.

That wasn’t time. That was a countdown.

I needed air. I needed to get out of here. But I couldn’t move. My feet felt glued to the floor, my whole body frozen in place as the reality of it all washed over me. I had never felt this kind of heartbreak before—not even close. It was like the world had just dropped from under my feet, and I had no idea how to stop falling.

Jackson was going to Seoul. And he was taking a piece of me with him.

I finally managed to whisper, "I have to go," but it sounded so hollow, so far away, even though it was my voice. My lips were trembling, my fingers felt numb, and my chest was so tight I could barely breathe.

Jackson’s mom opened her mouth to say something, but I didn’t stick around to hear it. I turned on my heel, walking blindly toward the door, each step feeling heavier than the last. My mind was a mess, my heart was shattered, and all I could do was get out, get away, before I completely fell apart.

I pushed the door open, the cool air hitting my face like a slap, but it didn’t help. It didn’t clear my head or make me feel any less like I was drowning in a sea of emotions I didn’t know how to navigate.

I heard Jackson shout my name from behind, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t even look back. My feet moved faster, fueled by the anger and heartbreak crashing through me. But it didn’t work.

His hand grabbed my wrist, halting me in place.

“Mia, wait!”

I yanked my hand away, not even caring how desperate the motion was. My chest heaved as I turned to face him. His eyes were wide, full of confusion. He had no idea.

“Mia? What’s wrong? Did something happen?” His voice was soft, but it only made the ache in my chest worse.

I stared at him, my heart tearing apart even more as the words left my lips. “You’re leaving,” I whispered, but he heard me. “You’re leaving, and you didn’t tell me.”

Please, God, tell me this isn’t true. Tell me his mom was wrong. Tell me there was some mistake, some misunderstanding. Anything.

“Mia…” he stepped forward, his hand reaching for mine, but I stepped back, my body trembling with hurt and anger.

"Tell me it isn’t true,” I demanded, my voice shaking as the first tears slipped down my cheeks. “Tell me it’s a joke, and I’ll believe it. I swear I’ll believe it.”

I knew it sounded crazy, but I didn’t care. I wanted to believe him more than anything.

His face twisted with regret. “I’m sorry, Mia,” he said quietly. “I wanted to tell you—”

“No!” The word exploded out of me, my voice louder than I’d ever heard it. “No, you didn’t! If you wanted to, you would’ve!” The dam inside me broke, and all the anger, all the pain, came pouring out. “You never wanted to tell me, Jackson!”

He shook his head, stepping toward me again, his eyes full of frustration. “I did try, but—”

“But what, Jackson?” I cut him off, my voice trembling. “You wanted to have fun playing with your childhood friend’s heart?”

“No.” His voice turned stern, his eyes locking onto mine with a seriousness that made my body shiver despite everything. “I would never do that to you, Mia. You mean a lot to me.”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes, trying to hide how much his words still affected me. “Yeah, well, I guess I don’t mean that much if you couldn’t even tell me you’re leaving next week.”

He shook his head again, stepping forward, but I took another step back, my hands trembling at my sides. “Mum only said that because… we’re still talking about it.”

“We?” I threw the word back at him, my voice sharp and bitter.

“My dad,” he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “He wants me back soon because I’m starting college.”

“Wow,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Even more lies. You’re starting college? You could’ve fooled me.” I turned, ready to leave, but he stepped in front of me, blocking my path. I couldn’t take it anymore. “Just leave me alone!” I cried, my voice breaking.

“Mia…”

“I don’t want to see you.” The words came out in a whisper, so full of hurt I barely recognized my own voice.

Jackson's face fell, his eyes pleading, desperate. “Mia…”

“Ever,” I added, choking on the word as tears continued streaming down my face. “You just… you just go and keep packing, or whatever you’ve already started doing.”

I flashed back to the boxes I saw in his room that day. The day we kissed. The day I gave a piece of myself to him. The memory twisted inside me, a knife to my chest.

I'm so stupid.

“Mia, please, just listen,” his voice cracked, filled with emotion. “Please listen to me.”

I stood there, my body rigid, torn between wanting to scream and wanting to fall into his arms. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let him do this to me.

I said nothing.

“Please,” he begged, his voice breaking in a way I’d never heard before.

For a split second, I almost listened. I almost let my guard down. But then I saw Miles’ car approaching, and the sight snapped me back into my own reality.

“Forget everything that happened since you came back,” I said, my voice cold, detached.

Jackson didn’t respond. His eyes were red, his lips trembling. "Stop saying that."

But I don't.

"Forget everything we had, and just go back.” I swallowed hard, clenching my fists at my sides to keep from breaking down completely.

“You don’t mean that,” he whispered, his voice shaking.

Of course I didn’t. But I couldn’t tell him that. “Forget… the kiss. Forget all of it. Just go back to Seoul… and stay there. Because I don’t want to see you again.”

He froze. I could see the pain in his eyes, the disbelief. But I couldn’t stay any longer.

I turned and walked faster toward Miles’ car. My legs moved as fast as they could, my body numb from the weight of everything. When I finally reached the car, Miles’ smile faded, his face shifting to confusion, then concern as he saw the state I was in.

“What happened?” he asked, the moment I got in.

I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t speak. I just stared out the window, tears blurring my vision, my chest heaving.

“Mia?” Miles asked again, his voice full of worry.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hold it together. “Just drive,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

“Mia…”

I glared at him, not wanting to talk. Not wanting to explain. “Please… let’s just go home.”

Miles paused for a moment, then nodded, starting the car without another word.

------

The moment Miles parks the car on the porch, I barely wait for him to stop before I swing open the door and run toward the house.

“Mia, wait!” Miles shouts behind me, but I don’t stop. I don’t listen. My legs move on their own, carrying me through the front door, where I’m immediately greeted by the warmth of home.

“Mia, what’s going on?” Mum’s voice floats in from the kitchen, followed by the clatter of Maddy’s holiday mug hitting the counter. I can feel their eyes on me as I rush past, but I can’t stop. Not now. I need to be alone.

I run up the stairs two at a time and slam my bedroom door shut, locking it before collapsing onto my bed. The second my head hits the pillow, the tears come, and they don’t stop. I press my hands to my face, trying to stifle the sobs, but it’s no use. The floodgates have opened, and I can’t control it anymore.

I hate this. I hate that I can’t stop crying. I hate that it hurts so much.

Memories of Jackson leaving all those years ago flash in my mind, making everything worse. I remember how devastated I was back then, how lost I felt. It shouldn’t feel this way again. It shouldn’t hurt like this. I mean, it’s just… it’s just a crush, right?

But it’s not.

The pain in my chest, this aching, twisting feeling like my heart is being stabbed over and over again—it means something more.

"I love him." The words fall out of my mouth, barely more than a whisper, and they hurt even more when I hear them out loud. I’m in love with Jackson Yung. It’s been buried inside me for years, and now, it’s too late. He’s leaving. He’s going to college, and he didn’t even tell me.

A knock pounds against my door, startling me from my thoughts. “Mia!” Miles bangs on the door again, louder this time. “Open up!”

I try wiping the tears from my face, but they just keep falling. “I’m fine, Miles. I just need to be alone,” I manage to say, though my voice cracks, betraying me.

“If you think I’m leaving my little sister like this, then you clearly don’t know me.” He pauses, knocking again, softer this time. “Come on, Mia. Everyone’s worried.”

His voice sounds so… gentle, so full of concern. It’s the last thing I can handle right now. I sit up, my legs shaky as I walk to the door and unlock it. The moment I open it, Miles’ eyes land on me, and I see the worry etched across his face.

“Mia…” His voice is barely above a whisper as he looks at me, taking in my tear-streaked face.

That’s all it takes for the tears to start again. I fall into his arms, sobbing against his chest. “I-I’m sorry,” I choke out between sobs. “I just—”

He wraps his arms around me, holding me tight, his chin resting on top of my head. “Shh, it’s okay,” he murmurs, rubbing my back gently. “Just breathe.”

I cry harder, my fingers gripping his shirt as if he’s the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely. After a moment, I pull back, wiping my face with the sleeve of my sweater. I try to calm down, but the tears won’t stop.

“Mia, what happened?” he asks softly, his eyes searching mine.

I open my mouth, but the words catch in my throat. It takes a moment before I can get them out. “He’s leaving.”

“Who?”

“Jackson,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “He’s leaving next week… and he didn’t even tell me.”

Miles’ face twists with confusion. “What?!”

“You didn’t know?” I ask, my voice small.

His expression hardens with anger. “Of course I didn’t know. Why would I know and not tell you?!” His fists clench at his sides, his jaw tight. “is that why he has been calling my phone. I thought he was into you…”

I swallow the lump in my throat, wiping at the tears that just won’t stop. “I don’t know what to do, Miles. It hurts so much…”

Miles shakes his head, his voice low but fierce. “It's okay Mia. Just take few breathes.” He pulls me into another hug, his arms tight around me, like he’s trying to shield me from the pain.

Miles pulls away slightly, his expression hardening as his protective instincts kick in. "Tell me not to call him, Mia, or I'm getting my ass over there, and I might regret what happens." His voice is low, dangerous, as if he’s barely holding himself back.

Before I can respond, Maddy bursts into the room, her face a mix of confusion and concern. "What’s going on? Why is Jackson calling me nonstop, saying he needs to talk to you, Mia?"

Miles steps back, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Do you know he's leaving?" he snaps, his voice thick with anger.

Maddy blinks, clearly taken aback. "Who's leaving?"

"Jackson," I whisper, the tears welling up again, threatening to spill over.

She looks between the two of us, her brow furrowing in disbelief. "Wait, are you sure?"

I scoff bitterly, my voice trembling. "Of course, I’m sure. His mum told me he’s going back to Seoul. He’s starting college there."

"Wait, what? College?" Maddy’s eyes widen as she tries to process what I’m saying. "But how? He’s not even done with high school here."

Miles sighs, crossing his arms. "He is, technically. The age system in Korea is different from ours. Over there, he’s considered 19 because they count the year from birth, so he’s eligible to start college."

Maddy shakes her head, still struggling to wrap her mind around it. "That... that doesn’t make sense. If he knew he was going back to start college, why would he come back here? Why would he mess with Mia like that?"

I swallow hard, the weight of their questions pressing down on me. "He didn’t tell me he was leaving," I murmur. "I found out from his mum. She told me everything."

Maddy’s eyes soften as she kneels beside me, taking my hand. "Did she say why he came back?"

I nod slowly, my voice barely a whisper. "She said… it was because of me."

Maddy’s grip tightens, her eyes searching mine. "What do you mean, Mia?"

"He wanted to spend time with me," I whisper, the words catching in my throat. "Even if it meant going back to high school again."

The room falls silent as the weight of my words sinks in. Maddy’s mouth falls open in shock, while Miles looks like he’s ready to punch something—or someone.

Maddy’s voice is soft but filled with disbelief. "He came back… for you?"

I nod, my heart aching. "Yeah, but now he’s leaving again… and I don’t know what to do."

Miles lets out a long, frustrated breath, pacing the room. "Unbelievable," he mutters, shaking his head. "He couldn’t even tell you the truth himself."

Maddy pulls me into a hug, her hand gently rubbing my back. "I’m so sorry, Mia."

For a moment, I let myself lean into her, but the pain is still too raw, too real. "I don’t know what to do," I admit, my voice cracking.

Miles stops pacing and looks at me, his face set in determination. "We’ll figure it out," he says firmly. "But first, you need to talk to him. Get the truth from him, not secondhand from anyone else."

I shake my head, unable to even picture seeing Jackson right now. "I can’t look at him… not right now. Maybe he has his reasons, but the fact that he didn’t tell me he was leaving—next week, no less—it just means he’s fully out of my life." My voice cracks, and I feel the weight of it all bearing down on me. "And I couldn’t even tell him..."

"Tell him what?" Miles asks, his eyes searching mine.

Tell him that I love him, and that he shouldn’t go, that he should just stay here with me.

The words scream in my mind, but I can’t say them. I shake my head, feeling more vulnerable than I ever have. "Don’t worry about it. I just need to sleep this off. I’ll be fine."

"Mia..." Maddy steps forward, trying to approach me, but I stop her with a look.

"Please," I beg softly. "Can I just be alone for now? I promise I won’t lock the door."

They exchange a glance, and for a moment, I worry they won’t listen. But then Miles sighs heavily, giving in. "Fine."

I smile weakly. "Thank you. And please, tell Mum not to worry too much."

Maddy hesitates for a second. "Wait, what if Mum knew about it? About Jackson leaving?"

Miles shakes his head, brushing off the idea. "I don’t think so. But I’ll ask her later. Right now, let’s just give Mia some space."

Maddy nods reluctantly, stepping forward to give me a brief, comforting hug before pulling away. "Okay. But if you need anything, just yell."

Miles lingers a moment longer, watching me closely. "You sure you don’t need anything?"

I shake my head. "No, I’m fine."

He nods, though he doesn’t look convinced. "Okay. I’ll talk to Jackson after this."

"No." My voice is sharper than I intended. "Don’t. It won’t change anything. I’m just... acting like this. Remember the last time he left, and I was in this state?"

His jaw clenches, his frustration barely contained. "That’s different, Mia, and you know it. You weren’t in love with him then, so don’t compare the two."

My eyes widen in shock. How could he know?

"Don’t look so surprised, kiddo." He lets out a bitter chuckle. "I knew before you did. That’s why I’ll talk to him—but not now. You need time."

I hadn’t expected Miles to be so thoughtful, so perceptive. I didn’t realize how much he saw, how much he understood. In that moment, I’m incredibly glad he’s my brother. He might act overbearing sometimes, but he’s always looking out for me in his own way.

"Thank you," I manage to whisper, my voice barely audible.

He gives me a small smile. "Anytime. Now rest, and I’ll get you something later."

With that, he gently closes the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I stare at the ceiling, the room feeling heavier than before, as everything finally sinks in.

Jackson’s leaving. He came back for me, but now he’s really leaving, and I couldn’t even tell him how I really feel.

●●●