There was the smell of old mothballs and leather in the air, on your tongue. You tried to breathe in as little as possible, your lungs straining in protest, wringing your hands nervously in your lap as the school counsellor took a seat on the opposite side of the desk. You shifted in the plush brown seat, watching the man from the corner of your eye.

Ittetsu Takeda he'd introduced himself as with a polite, formal smile, ushering you into his small but homely office the following lunchtime. He was a short man with messy black hair and small brown eyes, but with a pleasant enough attitude.

He coughed, nudging a pair of thinly-rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose, and let his palms relax against the desk. "So, [Y/N]-San, what's troubling you?"

You swallowed, fumbling around for the right words. What were you supposed to say? "I-I'm not here for me, actually," you started, slowly. "It's my friend, K-Kei Tsukishima." The word sounded weird on your tongue, not quite right. Were you still less than a friend? Were you anything more?

Takeda's face twisted then, as if he too had become aware of the dusty smell of the room. "Ah, right. I've heard about the recent incident. It must have been difficult. To think he was coping with that this whole time. Is he... okay?"

"Yes, yes, he's fine. But, as you know, his parents have been taken in on the basis of child abuse," you said slowly, carefully, as if walking over broken glass. You didn't want to cut yourself too much. "And he's likely to be put in the care system. Foster care."

Takeda nodded along with your words, like a robot. Was he programmed with automatic responses too? A systematic protocol to follow. Maybe this had been a mistake. As you fell silent, he began to talk, nervously, more tentatively, and this seemed to ease your worries slightly. "You're worried about him going into foster care?" He clarified.

"I don't think it's going to make him... happy," you said lamely. It was difficult to get your emotions out in the right words. "So I was wondering if, uhm, there was any alternative at all. I'm not really familiar with how it all works but..."

"The only other option he has would be to live with relatives," Takeda said. "But, well, I'm assuming he doesn't if he's being put straight into foster care."

You furrowed your brows. "Are they certain of that? Where would they get that information?"

Takeda tapped his fingers against his chin. "I'm not one hundred percent sure. It depends, I suppose, if the parents ever let anyone know if he had other relatives, at any point when filling out forms, registering for school and so on."

You licked your lips, the air was dry. "So they might have hidden the fact that Tsukishima has other family?"

Takeda's eyes brightened behind his glasses. "That is a possibility. I can, however, check his school records. There might be mention of extended family from when he first attended. I'm not going to lie, it's entirely possible that social missed something." Or didn't look very hard in the first place.

"Aren't those confidential?"

He appeared sheepish, fiddling with his tie, red polka dots. "Well yes, and you won't be allowed to look at them. But as counsellor, I have access to anything I deem necessary to help a student. Within reason, of course," he added quickly, and with a closed-eye smile. "I'll see what I can dig up. How about you come and see me again tomorrow?"

"Yes, thank you very much Takeda-Sensei. It's a huge weight off my mind. I hope we can find something."

~

Tsukishima had been discharged from hospital the day before, and his night was spent in temporary care whilst a more permanent placement was secured for him. You went to visit him after his first night there. The house was nice enough, everything clean and perfect, but it wasn't home. It would never be home. Things were too perfect, too clean. It was the kind of house where you were scared to leave something out of place, where you felt your very presence contaminated the pristine surroundings.

He took you into the garden and you sat and drank tea in silence, watching birds peck at the ground, where budding shoots had begun to flower. It was spring now.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly, resting your hands in your lap, folding them together, twisting them into bridges. "I know this isn't how you wanted things to turn out."

The boy shrugged, a lame tilt of his shoulders. You had to admit he looked healthier. He was eating properly now, he had new clothes. He looked clean and fresh. But you doubted very much that the inside was the same. Things were simply hidden more easily under that new layer of skin. Easier to disguise. "It was bound to happen someday. Anything's better than that godawful place I call home." Call. He stills calls it home. Old habits are hard to break.

But his voice was emotionless when he'd said that. Where was the relief, the gratitude, the willingness to embrace this new life, this fresh start?

Give it time.

"Do you know when you'll be back at school?"

Kei shrugged. He looked sad. "Who knows? Who knows anything anymore."

~

You went to see Takeda the following day and, as promised, his search had yielded results.

"I have good news," he said as you walked into his office, tripping on the rug in the middle, an oriental pattern of dark reds and browns. "You were right about social not checking the school records. Because guess what, Tsukishima-San does have other relatives."

Your heart swelled. "What? Really? C-can we contact them-"

"Already done. I've just gotten off the phone with social. They've already contacted his aunt, and she's agreed to let him stay with her. Apparently Tsukishima's parents had cut off all contact with them a couple of years ago. She hasn't seen him since he was a child."

"This is great news. Does Tsukishima know yet?"

Takeda shook his head and loosened a smile, knowing. "I thought you might like to tell him." But then the smile slipped, a shadow crossing his face. "But, there is a catch."

Your breath hitched. "What's that?"

Takeda sighed, and looked away. "Tsukishima's aunt... doesn't exactly live close. If he wants a chance, he's going to have to go some distance."

~

Later that day, you were seated on the same bench in the same garden. Tsukishima looked tired today, as if he hadn't slept well. Time. It would take time to get used to. That's all you could tell yourself.

Your heart was thudding in your chest, staccato, as you tried to work out a way to get the words off your tongue. Tsukishima was sat in silence, his head resting forward on his elbows, slung loosely around his knees.

"I... I have some news for you," you started, the words swelling in your throat and making it difficult to breathe. "I went to see the counsellor at school."

He cocked his head to face you, golden eyes imbued with curiosity. A lazy curiosity, as if he was bored and wanted to hear something new for a change.

You inhaled a breath, then carried on. "I wanted to make sure that foster care wasn't the only option you had since I figured, you know, that might not be what you wanted." You looked at him, gauging for a reaction. A slight frown. "Well anyway, Takeda-Sensei looked through your old school files and it turns out you do have other relatives."

He blinked at you with wide eyes, like an owl's.

"You have an aunt who's willing to take care of you, at least until you're old enough to do so yourself."

"W-what? How come I never knew?"

You peered down, studying your fingers. "It seems like your parents wanted to keep it a secret from you. You probably have more family you don't know about. They probably wanted to distance you from them as much as possible."

Kei lifted his eyes to the sky. "B-but I... I don't know here. I can't suddenly go and live with her after all these years..."

Were any of the options enough to keep Kei happy? "Would you rather stay here then?" You asked, bitter.

"What do you mean, stay here? Where... where does she live?"

You wetted your lips with your tongue, feeling emotion well behind your eyes. "She lives somewhere in Shikoku."

Tsukishima spluttered, jolting forward on the bench, his long legs hitting the ground. "B-but that's in an entirely different region."

You nodded, wiping your sleeve across your eyes in frustration. "It'll be a new start, Kei. A fresh start. Nobody will know you. You can build a new life. You don't have to be the 'tragedy' anymore. Isn't that what you wanted? I-isn't that going to make you happy?"

He looked surprised at the break in your voice. A stray tear had fallen down your cheek without you realising it. You'd let your emotions get the better of you.

Tsukishima's lips were quivering. He looked confused. This was something new, that attention in his eyes. He was looking at you as if you were now the enigma, something he couldn't work out, something he couldn't understand.

And then it dulled down, a flame lost in the dark. "Yeah, I guess it would. A fresh start might be exactly what I need."

But there was no emotion in his voice when he said that either.

ughh my writing style changes so much during this book. it's so sloppy now lol. and wow i feel like this chapter is super boring compared to the last few but i need to wrap it up somehow. also i know knowing about the 'care system' so this is all made up sowwwy. but anywayyyyy thanks a lot for reading x

one more chapter to go...