I woke up staring at the ceiling. 

Gentle rainfall was thumping against the windowpanes in a rhythm as I lay on the couch, Lyn still asleep on the other side of it. 

I shivered. What was the time? 

I glanced around, looking for a clock. The room was dark. I finally looked over at the stove clock, the bold red numbers proclaiming it to be half past five in the morning. 

I sighed, slumping back to my original position, listening to the rain. It didn't sound like it was letting up anytime soon.

My thoughts circled back to the PE fiasco, the thing that started all of this. I felt dread splash itself over my stomach when I finally registered what Brie had said.

"Dyke."

Just the one word. Filled with so much hatred. So much malice. 

Where on earth had she gotten that idea from? 

The more I thought about it, the more I realised it didn't fit. I thought back to the note. It seemed like that was the only way Brie could've known; the Gang had never talked about what gender we liked. I guess nobody thought it was important. Which obviously it wasn't, since it wouldn't've changed anything between us.

But the explanation still didn't quite work. Even if Brie did find out through the note, she had gotten it mixed up. But the most obvious question was how she read the note, how she knew what it said. Hell, how she even knew it existed. Argh, too many questions and no answers!

These thoughts were making me dizzy. I sighed, the noise barely audible over the rain slamming against the windows. 

"Everything alright?" Lyn asked from the other side of the couch, hugging her blankets.

A sudden rush of guilt pulsed dully through me.
Evelyn doesn't like girls. I do.
Brie should've hurt me, not Lyn.

I must've been quiet for too long, because the girl in question shrugged the blankets off and leant forward. "Gyps?"

I switched my gaze to her and took in her features. Her messy chestnut bed-hair that would go back to normal with the swipe of a brush; the light blue eyes that seemed to glow even in the dark of the early morning; the genuine concern on her face.

She looked closer to sixteen than fourteen. Then again, her birthday was coming up in a couple months.

I smiled. "Yeah, just thinking," I replied, and I wasn't lying. 

As I continued my train of thought, I came to a decision: the gang were my best friends. I could trust them with anything.

"So I've been thinking, and something doesn't fit," I started.

"What?" Evelyn asked, and I sat up so we were closer.

"When Brie hit you, she called you a dyke."

Lyn nodded. "That isn't news, though. I remember it."

"Yeah but, why? Who ever said you liked girls? And besides, I'm the dyke here."

I stopped, waiting for her to connect the dots.

But she remained perplexed. "So?"

It suddenly occurred to me that nobody told her about the note.
"Oh, damn," I muttered. "You've got some catching up to do."

I launched into the quick rehash of my state in English, the note Grace slipped me, getting into trouble over it and that's when she got it.

"The note said you liked me, which makes you a... well... I don't want to say that word. And when Brie slammed me with the ball, she called me that word. So unless that wasn't related to the note at all, how on earth did she know about it?" Evelyn guessed.

I nodded. "Exactly. And if she heard about it through the grapevine, somehow, then it obviously got twisted along the way, like all rumours." My voice broke at the end and I stared down. "Damn it. I can't believe you got hurt because of me."

Evelyn immediately grabbed my shoulders. "Gypsica, I will not have you blaming yourself for Brie's dumbassery. Don't you dare bully yourself cause of it, you hear?"

I let out a little laugh. With a sudden rush of wanting to cry, I hugged her. I was so grateful to have her as a friend. To have all of them as friends. Casey, Lily, Grace, Skye, Jess, Max, even Eric now.

Evelyn, of course, returned the hug. No surprises there.

She pulled away and sighed. "What's the time?" She asked, stretching out her arms.

Another quick glance at the stove. "Six."

She shoved the doona we had borrowed from Jess to the floor. "I'm gonna get dressed."

I nodded, staring out the window as she got up from the couch to stretch a bit more.

"Hey," I said.

Evelyn turned on her heel, facing me. "Wha-a-a-a-t?" She asked through a yawn.

I looked at her. "Have you noticed anything weird about Lily recently?"

My friend's face screwed up in concentration. "Not really. Why?"

I raised an eyebrow, looking sceptical. "She's been sort of... neutral to Maxie. Treating her like an acquaintance, not a friend. Like she doesn't trust her."

Lyn hummed a "hmmm". "I think you're just overthinking things."

Suddenly I felt like I had swallowed a rock. "Do you think she's bugged because Max is Jess's girlfriend?"

"Maybe," Evelyn replied.
Something in her tone told me she had reached the conclusion before me.

But I was already running possibilities. "Either she's jealous of Max because she's dating Jess, or..." 

I groaned, letting my head loll back and hit my pillow.

"Or she doesn't like Max because she's dating Jess," Lyn finished for me.

I nodded, staring at the ceiling.

Evelyn whistled, grabbing some spare clothes out of the hamper near us. "She's not gonna be happy when she learns your secret."

So maybe it would change things, after all.

<⚙︎>

When Lyn and I were both dressed, the house was more awake. The clouds from outside blocked any kind of sun from streaming in.

"So what's the plan for today?" I asked as I stabbed my scrambled eggs at breakfast.

Jess shrugged from across the table. "Lie low? Try and find out more info about the recharge?" 

Lily groaned. "Man, I hate feeling useless," she grumbled, and when I looked up I saw she had eaten about as much as me, which was nothing. 

I twisted my mouth to the side. "Same."

Max narrowed her brows. "Eat up, guys. Jess made those eggs," she said.

I sighed. My mind was not on breakfast right now.

"Can't, there's too many things to be doing," I replied, fishing my phone from the pocket of my jeans.

With a few taps I was checking my socials; Insta first, obviously. It's like a rule of thumb for teenagers.

Damnit. A new post from the official Winter Lock High account.

I quickly read it over and sighed loudly. "Oi guys, listen to this: Seven students went missing a few days ago. They ran out of school and their families have reported them to have seemingly never come home. Keep a look out for Evelyn Arrow, Casey Dustin, Grace Lakeholds, Lily Meadows, Skye Alnamar, Eric Sage, and Gypsica Bane."

I turned my phone screen-side so I could swipe through the photos of us in turn of each name called out.

Skye banged her glass of orange juice down on the table. "Holy moly, do I really look that bad? I thought that was a good photo!"

I couldn't resist but laugh at her comment (with the rest of my friends) as I pocketed my phone.

Jess cleared her throat, somewhat exasperatedly. "This is no laughing matter. Now you guys can't even go outside," she told us.

The laughing abruptly stopped.

I dropped my fork with a loud clatter. "What?" I exclaimed, furrowing my brow. "No way!" I felt anger begin to swirl in my chest. "We can't stay inside for the next two months! We'll go insane!"

Lily calmed me down. "We will NOT go crazy, Gyps," she reassured gently. "It's okay."

I let my head sink into my hands. I couldn't bring myself to look at my friends' faces.

The situation was hopeless.

We were going to be stuck indoors all day every day for God knows how long.

Because of me.

<⚙︎>

A knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts. "Can I come in?" I heard Maxie's voice ask.

I nodded, forgetting she couldn't see through walls. But I was too tired to talk.

Regardless, she opened the door. I looked up.

My embarrassing outburst at breakfast had been two hours ago, and I had excused myself to the main bedroom. I'd been sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall and wondering how on earth I could have screwed up so bad.

Max stiffened when she saw how red my eyes were.

She said nothing more, and pulled me into a hug, sitting next to me.

I knew the door was open. I knew the GangGang was outside, and could probably hear me.

But I didn't really care.

I sunk into my mentor's embrace, my body shuddering with each sob.

She rocked back and forth with me, letting me cry.

"I messed up," I hiccuped. "I did this, they're stuck – they don't deserve..."

"Shhh..." Max rubbed my arm up and down soothingly, and I wish I could pull my shields back up. I needed to be strong.

But there were just some days when I was so sick of being strong.

I was so tired of pretending I wasn't allowed to cry.

Because damn, nobody should ever have to feel like they're trapped.