atelophobia:
n. the fear of being imperfect

*****

I'm a slut for sleeping with him, they said.

He wouldn't have wanted to see me otherwise, they said.

I'm better off dead, they said.

-

The paint on my body eventually washed off.

But the water will never wash away the swirling colors of

soulless black,

etched forever on my every thought.

-

I received a present today.

"Honey, I bought a t-shirt with SLUT printed on it, just for you. Your dear classmates would love it, won't they?"

She laughed as she shoved me into the shirt and gave my cheeks a rosy blush of pain.

They loved it, at school.

In fact, pictures were printed and they handed it out like little souvenirs.

A picture is worth a thousand words and mine is worth the word slut.

Their laughing jeers and festive sneers clouded

every

single

corner

of my sanctuary.

And yet, the only music I could hear replaying in my ears were

mother knows best, right?