**** Chapter Playlist ****

Gold - Masicka
Sweet Dreams - Beyoncé
Me & You - Central Cee

Oakley 'Cench' Caesar-Su
New York, NY
One week later

Really professional stuffy events always annoyed me. It always made me feel out of place, like the people there had their noses turned up at me even though I was probably richer than most of them. Me and the guys stuck out here, like sore thumbs, we were like these people and they saw it just like felt it.

The grand opening of the club came and went successfully, and for that exact reason we were all advised by Harry to participate in this event. His favorite motto being, 'Philanthropy sets us apart from the average criminals.' 

I still couldn't bring myself to go full suit and tie, because as much as air and asthma meant to me I wanted this night to be over with. It was another fundraiser, gala, ball, whatever for the Asthma and Allergy Association. This time around we couldn't wait for 11 p.m. to hit, before we made it back to our cars and headed home. I couldn't count on Killian being awake when I got home, but it did give me an opportunity to get her some flowers at the twenty four hour flower stall near the flat.

It's been a rough week for her with her cycle coming along full force. Heating pads, and laying down only did so much that she just roughed it out to not take any medication. Something about testing her pain tolerance, and how she wasn't afraid of a little pain. Even with that she's been a brat nonetheless, my brat, but a complete little monster this past week. She's been sarcastic, rude, and insistent on getting on my nerves that entire week.

She'd stick her cold feet right under me, dig her knee into my side as she slept due to her cramps, turn off all the lights in the kitchen if I came home late from work, which she never did, she always at least left the kitchen oven light on. I let it all slide because she's in pain and probably really didn't mean it.

When I walked in, the oven light was on so maybe she was in a better mood tonight. Dinner was left out for me, so I put her flowers in a vase and got myself ready for dinner, after I got ready for a shower and when I enter the room she's asleep. After my shower I get in bed next to her, and she immediately gets closer to me. As I settle in she puts her leg over me, and her arm around me keeping me close.

"Goodnight, I love you." I whisper to her as she nuzzles her face into my neck, and as she holds me closely it's easy to fall asleep.

I wake up to a scratching on my chest, looking over at the clock 3:10 A.M. is printed in red numbers and this time the stretching goes down my stomach.

"Hi," She moused in my ear before kissing my neck, making me shiver under her light touch. Her nails scratched down my stomach, right above my pajama bottoms. I'm hazy with sleep as her small warm hand enters my pants gripping my dick firmly, cause me to lowly gasp. "Let's take these off."

There was a grittiness to her voice, and the assertive tone of her telling me. She pulls down my pants kicking them off using her foot, and her disappears beneath the blanket. "Baby what ar- fucking hell." I'm left to let out a shaky breath, as she takes new in her mouth.

Her mouth is blissfully warm, cozy even as I grow harder in her mouth. Killian moans as I pulsate in her hands, the animal in me wanting to brutalize her, feeling the vibration of her throat. It's maddening how weak she gets me, off the simplest touches, I become a leaking mess for her. Swirling her wet tongue over my sensitive tip repeatedly, as she massage my balls it's impossible to breathe properly.

For every slick, wicked thing that came from that mouth she knew exactly how to make up for it, every hair on my body stands up in excitement. She flattened her tongue allowing my tip and whole length to slip to the back of throat, grabbing her head I thrusted my hips up, driving my dick to the back of her throat, she gagged and her spit coated my shaft. The frenzied feeling of butterflies that built in my stomach hit me suddenly and like a freight train.

My toes curled as she slapped my aching length against her tongue, my fingers weave through her hair. "You...do that so fucking good." The suction of her hollowing out her cheeks as she flicked her tongue on my tip, milking me for all that I had at this very moment, unravels me and I ruthlessly held her head down painting the back of her throat with my cum.

I gave it no time before I throw the blanket off of us, and grab her by the throat taking her mouth in mine. She's slick with her own cum as she grinds into me, "I'm sorry I've been mean." She groans feverishly trying to position her hips, but I don't give in.

Her hands pull at my hair as she kisses every part of me with need, "Please poppa, I  just need it." That sultry voice begs me, as she moves her hips back and forth, slipping her slick folds over my shaft. It's making me dizzy with pleasure, but this wasn't enough punishment for her.

My fingers found her wet entrance and it's tight as I slip a finger in, her breathing becoming sharp as I stretched her. My hand is drenched in no time, as she continually grinds her clit against my palm, stimulating an area I purposely ignored. She acted out for weeks instead of just asking, or just taking it. I belonged to her, and this taking she was doing now was always an available choice at all times but I played coy to her needs because she knows in this house closed mouths don't get fed.

She's holding me close as I stretch her with two fingers, one hand stretching my back the other pulling at my hair as she kissed me fervidly. Her whole body is hot as she moans into my mouth, "Is this what you wanted princess?" I ask tauntingly, knowing this was far from what she wanted.

"N-No," Killian stutters dropping her head on my shoulder as she came all over my hand, the sounds of her wetness filled the air echoed by heavy breathing and panting. "But it feels so good," She rasps out as I quickly pull my fingers out, tasting her and I'm refreshed.

Lifting her off of my lap, I positioned her perfectly with a deep arch in her back, her beautiful face carefully on the soft pillow for her comfort and her ass perfectly perched in the air for my pleasure. Like this I can see the mess we've already made, and she's a soaking wet mess leaking down her thighs. Stroking myself to the masterpiece in front of me I have self control or I'd  absolutely wreck her.

The only thing missing from this view is my handprint, printed clearly on her flawless ass. With a heavy hand I slapped her ass, she breathes groaning a weak 'thank you'. The welted print of my hand begins to rise on her soft skin, and I repeat the process of striking her ass cheek with a heavy hand. She's getting more aroused with each hit, because a puddle begins to form beneath her knees as it trickles down her quivering thighs.

My dick pulsed at the remembrance of how snug that fit is, how enchantedly addicting it is to feel her cum for me. How hearing her moan my name turns on this primitive animal in me that makes me feel invincible.

As I slip into her she gasps lightly, and I grip her hips, putting my weight into her back as I bottomed out. "You'll be a good girl and take this?" I ask, knowing she could barely speak. When she doesn't answer, I pull out slowly and she whines at the empty feeling.

"I asked you a question princess." I tease her easing my tip through her wet folds, before gripping quickly slipping into her pounding into her brutally. The filthy sounds of me fucking her senselessly pierce the air, those sounds filling me with pride because I did that to her. Her cum wets us both as she struggles not to run from every deep thrust.

Leaning over I press down on her head, fucking her harder and she stutters with every moan that manages to escape. "This what you wanted right?"

"Y-yes!" She moans out, "Yes, please." She pleads gripping onto the bed sheets. Tears pooled in her eyes as I pushed her head further into the pillow losing myself in fucking her, drowning myself in her moans for me to keep going. The grip of her walls still so inviting to me, continuing to tighten around me. "That's the first time all week you've had manners." I grunt pulling her hair back, pulling her to me.

I sit back on my knees and she's sitting in my lap, her back is against my chest and I grab her breast massaging firmly as I suck on her neck. My dick is firmly filling her as I cum, leaving her no room to have it spill out.

"O please—" She moans as she reaches out to hold onto the head board, my grip on her neck is tight as I rub her clit while driving my hips up bottoming out.

"This shit is so tight," I grunt through gritted teeth as the over stimulation of her warm insides milking me, peaks my adrenaline. "So wet." Moaning in her ear, a chill runs down my spine and she begins to shake as she pushes me away.

"Baby I can't!" Killian weeps as she heaves herself off of me, lying there breathless from her multiple orgasms. I smile at the wrecked beauty in front of me, "Oakley." She rasps, her voice hoarse from moments ago.

"Yes princess."

"I'm sorry for being a bitch." Killian yawns, "Thank you." Her night slip I barely there as its bunched up circling her body.

"I—" I hear the tiniest snore from her, "It's okay." I chuckle to myself as I get the rag to clean her up. I moved her to the guest room to change the sheets with the mess she made, and then back to the room.

When I woke up she wasn't near me, but I hear vampire shows in the kitchen and smelled food so I get myself ready for the morning and when I saw her, she look refreshed and smiled at me. "Hi!" She pushed a plate with a full English nicely presented toward me.

"Morning," I went around the island to give her a kiss and make myself a cup of tea, she hummed as she moved around the kitchen, plating her food and feeding the boys.

"Really sorry about this week, and I really appreciate you being nice to me." She kisses my cheek, and I roll my eyes. Because there seemed to be a buffer period for the niceness, even the day after her cycle ended she was a total prick.

"I also really love my flowers, thank you." She mutters cutely as she poked her fork around her plate, "And I put in my two eeek notice a few days ago." The information makes the table quiet, and I look up at her mid chew trying to see if she was fucking with me or not. Her eyes are honest and really kind as she looks at me, and it mashes me feel warm.

"And I was thinking because I'll have some free time we could go somewhere, I've always wanted to go to Mexico." She's chatty and optimistic which I won't say is rare, but this feels a lot better than the recent energy that's been around.

"Yeah depending on when, I can move some work stuff around to make that happen." Agreeing, because I know it'd make her happy and it did sound like a great time.

For the rest of breakfast she showed me things around Mexico she thought would be nice to do, and as the history buff that she is of course she wanted to see Chichen Itza, and Frida Kahlo house.

Over the course of two weeks she did end up quitting her position at the hospital, and of course I felt indifferent as it actually came time for her to quit. And her mood was low the weeks following her resignation, we still managed to keep our level headed routines. Between dress fittings with Ameena, and us in the talks of moving it kept us busy enough to not have time to ponder on her quitting.

About three weeks after she resigned we were flying to Mexico, and I enjoyed having her plan this trip because it felt like a trip she planned personally for me. I didn't too much care for flowers but as we pulled up to the villa situated in a rocky cliff side of Mexico, overlooking a bay that spilled out to the ocean the lady handed me a bouquet of black and red spider Lillie's. Killians the only person who's ever given me flowers, for any reason and I liked it. Only from her.
The red flowers created an O with the black flowers decorating the background. It was a beautiful addition to the decorated room, flowers neatly placed, and bottles of liquor placed around the room for encouragement.

Our bags are situated for us and once we are alone I take a look around, viewing the sun gleaming into the deep blue sea. She put a lot of thought and care into planning this, and it made me feel something. Something positive of course, because it was something I've never experienced before.

I feel her wrap her arms around me, and kiss my back. "Pretty right?" She mumbles as she sticks her head under my arm to see the sunset as well. She's so taken by the sunset she doesn't notice all I can see is her now that she's in front of me and the sunsets beauty is secondary.

"Gorgeous." I respond but not about the sunset, before pulling her into a kiss.

"Dinner on the beach in 45. They say you can see the dolphins kiss." She says pecking my lips before skipping off to the bathroom, her excitement about the little things made me realize how lucky I am. Lucky to have someone who appreciates life itself and not just the things that come with it.

I get ready picking an outfit of a simple black tank and tan cargo pants. Peaking her head out into the seating area, I hear her footsteps run back to the room before she came back out in a few minutes. "Tada!" Her one piece set was black and the slippers on her feet were tan and well as her hand bag.

"That's cute." I chuckle taking a picture of her big smile,before she grabs my hand and we are driven by mini cart to a further part down the mountain where dinner was privately held in a rocky cove a few feet above the sharp, rugged coastline. Pointed sharp gray stones stuck out of crystal clear blue waters

Soon after we were seated drinks were served and starters were given, she feeds me and cracks little jokes about us catching a tan. Our love wasn't perfect but these times made it feel like it, where we didn't argue, where all we did is appreciate the moments of undivided attention we could give one another.

We talked about where she wanted a house, what she wanted in the American house versus what we would have in our British home, compared to the things we'd want in our Jamaican home. We spoke about wedding planning, and now because she had more time now she could dedicate her time to that. After dinner we walked the coast line before getting picked up to the villa, settling our first night in Mexico went by perfectly.

The following day, we are off zip lining. It takes some convincing on her part, because she knew how badly I've always wanted to do it. She admitted it was fun before we were off to see Chichen Itza as she wanted, and she was all smiles the entire time.

The second full day she signed us up for a tacos and tequila tour, where we were brought around different parts of Oaxaca sampling tequila and eating mini chef curated tacos. By the time we got back to the villa she's so fucked up she can't stand up straight, and the room spins around me as she lays on top of me once we stumble onto the bed. That's all I remember before she's riding me on the balcony as the stars form nebulas above us, in the humid Mexican heat.

I'm new to art and literature because of her, but the images engraved in my mind of her riding me are the inspirations behind the most beautiful and famous paintings today. Her body's absolute submission to me, coupled with my own insatiable need for her made every sexual encounter with somehow better than the last.

Our third day in Mexico, we take the drive out to Mexico City to see the Frida Kahlo Museum and the entire walkthrough had me speechless. "Wait, that's madness. Gyal sister mans got on with?" I whisper to her, I'm baffled as the tour guide shares that apparently, Fridas sister Cristina had an affair with her husband Diego.

"Ya see how men wicked to bloodclaat." She mutters back to me, shaking her head. The rest of the museum and tour is equally as interesting and fun as she is genuinely interested in the history, taking pictures and buying souvenirs. This trip was a perfect balance of us and our needs, and each of our needs being met while we were here made me enjoy the time and energy she put into the trip overall.

Day four in Mexico was a beach day, where we sat by the beach till sunset swimming and eating fresh fruit before we find a local bar to go to end our night. To end our fourth night we indulge in more tacos, tequila, and missionary. It may seem obvious that I'm trying to have her leave Mexico pregnant, but the moment she calls me her handsome good boy as I'm fucking her I knew I needed a baby shower budget.

On the final full day, we set sail on a yacht for whale and dolphin watching. She's brave and adventurous, it makes me proud as she jumps off the side of the boat into the deep blue, crystal clear ocean water. Finally she resurfaces as she swims towards the boat, and the second skin of a bath suit clings to her as she climbs up the ladder to board the vessel.

"Babe let's do it, come on. The water feels great!" She skips to me, between the two of us she liked the water the most. Taking off my shirt, I give in to her request and we go running off the boat into the water, and the water is relatively warm as we both come up for air.

She swims to me, "That's so much fun." Smiling brightly she lays back and floats on her back, her curly hair moving with the light ripples of water, cherub face kissed by the sun, I know heaven exists because I'm living in it with her.

The bell rings for us to get on board for dinner, and we board the vessel and dry off before dinner is served. After dinner is the first whale sighting, she sits on my lap with the binoculars, a giggling mess as the whales blow water and groaned loudly. The sound is deep and ominous, but she's just excited to be experiencing something other than skyscrapers and city lights.

I'm grateful for the same experiences with her, because seeing her this happy is what I do it for. I'd do anything to see it everyday, "Holy shit!" She's so excited, and I think it's the cutest thing ever because if you asked her what her idea of a perfect day was, she'd probably randomly mention seeing some massive animal. I made a mental note to take her to see elephants, those were one of her favorite animals.

"Preciate' you, and the trip y'know." I lightly touch her chin, kissing her cheek. She shy-fully accepts my kiss, she bats her long eye lashes and her eyes resemble the waters we are sailing, half wet, half frizzy hair whipped around us as the boat sped up to take us back to land.

"I'd do anything for you." She admits to me, looking in my eyes, Killian says the those words deliberately. The crazy part is I don't want her doing anything for me, I just wanted her to relax for me. Let me take care of her, fully that's all she had to do for me.

"Just be you please. Live an easy life, and love me that's all." I request, and her eyes get glassy. "I love you." She says to me, before hugging me tightly.

"I love you too princess." I wrap my arms around her and her body relaxes in my arms instantly. She is my comfort and I love feeling like I am hers, because her arms are the most loving place for me to be at any given time.

Back at the villa we clean up before sitting by the fire with a few beers and small snacks, sharing childhood stories. We sat around as she tells me where she got her fighting skills from. "Declan was a bit of a bully man, if I wanted anything I had to fight for it." She laughs.

"One time my dad made one wicked escovitch fish, ugh so good. I mean really fucking good and we had both been going to the shop and fixing up the house all day. Once all the food share out there was one fish left, and I only wanted half, he body slammed me on the kitchen floor for the likkle piece of fish." The memory I can tell is fleeting, because her laugh isn't filled with as much excitement.

"What's your favorite childhood memory?" Killian inquires, starry eyed and tipsy she gives me a cheeky grin before laying her head in my lap.

Racking  my brain for memories that were once in a blue moon, I remember the year Caleb was born. My parents tried to get it together for us around Carnival time. My dad came around with a job, mom was down to one drink a day, so my pop organized a day at Nottinghill Carnival. We walked with the Guyanese band, and everything in my life at that time felt great. Probably because every adult around us was so drunk, they couldn't think straight.

"Probably any carnival my dad took us to."

"I definitely have to text Rose for pictures. I know she has some. Baby Oakley, so cute." She would sit and gush at my baby pictures, talking about eating my cheeks and eating my baby toes. It always made me laugh because she was so serious, even being moved to tears one time as she scrolled through 'baby tok' listening to baby laughs and watching babies and dogs get along.

Pulling out my phone because I knew she would get hers out, it's a race against who can get pictures out the fastest. Of course I'm the quicker one, because most of my camera roll consists of her. She has two large white patches of hair on her tiny head, and a stripe where her little eyebrows would be. Little pigtails and two bottom teeth, she smiles big as her dad holds her on her belly. Her eyes were bright emerald green and hazel, and her cheeks were this rosy shade of red.

I know my children are going to be perfect, because she was perfect. "Where did you get that?!" She gasps, grabbing my phone she looks at the photo details and sees I got it from Nandini. Swiping she sees the picture of her in her ballet uniform as a child, teeth still missing, with a pink leotard, and white skirt.

"That one's my favorite." I inform her, and it's because she smiles the exact same. A smile full of child like innocence and wonder, a smile that my kids would have one day.

She swiped again and it's a video of her adolescent self, "Declan stop it— anyways. My name is Killian and this is my Brandy & Mr. Whiskers impression," The grainy image of her is replaced by her brother flipping his eyelids, and she pushes him into the camera. "Daddy! Declan broke the video robot!" Her tiny voice runs away from the camera as her brother adamantly denies in the background.

Killian begins laughing, "I don't even remember that anymore," She's in stitches, "He went flying into the camera omg." She can't stop laughing, and it's enough to make me join in on her laughter because her laughter was so contagious.

"And there you going telling stories."

"Nope, he broke it. His body collided with it, not mine." She says with her laughter dying down as she scrolls through me and her mum's conversation. Her mother had basically sent me an album of her childhood pictures, ones that included the entire family back for her graduation party.

The only sound amongst us is the fire crackling as she scrolls, slowly and she would analyze each photo. She landed on a picture where she's sat atop her dad shoulder as a child, he has a paper crown on his head and a poorly written 'best dad ever'  scribbled across the front. This time she had one missing front tooth, a thumbs up and her other arm wrapped around his head in a crushing yet loving embrace.

Tears run across the bridge of her nose and I wipe them away, "What are you feeling?" I ask sincerely, because she never spoke about her dad or Declan excessively, and never a deep dive of anything. Just basic things, about him being great and planning the parties, she was very reserved when it came to speaking about them.

"I feel a lot of regret," Her voice cracks lightly but she clears her throat, and scrolls again landing on a picture of the three of them alone. Declan, Killian, and David, all three were dressed nicely and Declan had multiple pins attached to his dress shirt. David looked like a proud dad, and Killian like a proud sister. "I was suppose to be in the car with them." The revelation is unsettling, because she seemingly admits to me she regrets not dying.

"I was just so upset that he wouldn't let me travel abroad, he was so over protective and Declan made it no better. It felt like because their lives were here, mine had to be stuck here too. They always treated me so fragile, it's like I couldn't move without them." She explains, and I understand them more than anything. I understand the wanting to protect her, the feeling of being incomplete if her safety wasn't guaranteed always loomed around every corner.

"I think they just wanted to protect you." I reason, and she nods.

"I understand that now. I don't know if I would've ever left if it didn't happen. I felt every single thing Declan felt emotionally, but that day I felt it physically too. I really don't know how to explain it." She's zoomed in on his picture, holding it to her chest and she closed her eyes and the tears spilled over her cheeks.

"He was in so much pain," The agony in her voice is moving because she was never this personally vulnerable with me. "I called my mom because I knew something was wrong. My whole body hurt, and I was so afraid for no reason but I was laying on my bed."

Killians trying hard not to let the tears take over, "They didn't deserve that pain." Shutting the phone off, she gets up and walks away. I felt like shit because baby pictures were never suppose to get here, and now that we were I knew to give her a moment and not invade her space right away. Her sharing this information makes it more understandable about her apprehension about starting a family. She lost two of the most important people to her at the same time, and her family wasn't  very large to begin with.

A minute passes and I put the fire out, and lock up before looking for her around the villa. The only door that was locked was the closet door, so I sat outside the door and knocked. "Hey pretty girl," I knock and call softly. After a few moments she cracks the door open just a little bit, sticking her hand out but nothing else. I grab her two fingers in mine just to initiate that physical touch that she needs right now.

"I'm sorry I'm ruining your trip." Killian sniffles behind the door, the tears in her voice pulls at my heart, and suddenly holding her fingers aren't enough. I want to hold her and let her know everything will be okay. Pushing the closet door open lightly, she's laying down on her side with her hand sticking out of the door the little opening she created. The space was snug but it'd fit us if she let me in, scooting over I slide myself down the space she's in and I'm face to face with her somber face. I wipe her tears away again, kissing her cheeks.

"You don't ruin anything. Your feelings matter." I reassure her, "They always matter to me." Rubbing her back, she hiccups and fixes herself so she's laying on top of me. "You're the best daughter, the best sister, the best friend, the best cousin, the best nurse. You're the best wife, and I wouldn't ask for anything more than you."

"You're just saying that." Her nose is stuffy as she sniffles, "Never."

I hated that I couldn't take her pain away, I hated that I couldn't fix this part for her. If I could hurt everything that made her hurt, and bring them back I'd do it in this very second. I'd give her the peace of having them again, because that affected her so much and I never bring it up because grappling their loss was hard enough for her. Holidays like Father's Day she was a complete shut in, or she got shit faced drink to forget about it. Only these past two father's days she would send my dad a large bouquet of red roses. She never made a big deal about her birthday, but spent most of it with a sad face unless someone was around to change her mood.

I remember the first birthday we spent together, she got dressed up and cried when she saw I invited people over. She cried on my shoulder and that's when she told me David would plan each party, for her and Declan and then it made sense why she was such a shut out with people and shut in with herself.

"Life is very unfair to the best people. Your mum once told me, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers." I recite to her carefully, rubbing her back reassuringly. "I got you forever my pretty girl, the days it's too hard to handle give it to me." She sniffles and nuzzles her damp face into my neck.

"You're not going to leave, right?" Her voice comes out in a whisper, and I gulp at the double entendre she throws at me.

"Never." 

*******

Thoughts and concerns?

I'm so SORRY. I've been so damn tired yall, like I'm such a sleepy girl omg :(

This is the bonus chapter for us getting to 80k. Thank you all so much, love yall down so bad. This one's for you @ysanne123 , you're so sweet.

In other news, four countries in the Middle East are currently being carpet b0mbed by the occupation. My heart is so heavy as the list of countries being bombarded by these devils are genuinely growing. The list I share at the end of every chapter are countries under some form of occupation.
Palestine, Lebanon, Syria, and Yemen.

Political officials are stealing from citizens, AMERICAN tax dollars are funding wars, many Americans are currently living in devastation as hurricanes rip through the south east United States, AND AND AND...the there are multiple innocent lives on death row who will never get their convictions overturned due to blatant racism.

Prayers for the South East, R.I.P Marcellus Khallifa Williams, and Freedom to all nations under oppressive regimes.

Fuck the occupation!
Fuck zionism/t!
Fuck colonialism!

Free Palestine
Free Congo
Free Sudan
Free Cameroon
Free Haiti
Free Puerto Rico
Free Tigray
Free Lebanon
Free Yemen
Free Syria
Free Kenya
Defund Genocide
Give indigenous people back they shit.

Xoxo,
Xstuhcii 💋