A/N : We are back with fake names because I genuinely do not care. Can't stress how much Idgaf about this man's personal life, he is just cute.

Killian Rubis Andrade
New York, NY
Graduation day

Waves of nausea washed over me as they had us lined up to walk onto the field to our seats. I looked up in the crowd and didn't see any familiar faces but I knew my mom was here, and so that's all that really mattered to me.

Ameena got back to me only days before graduation letting me know they placed her on the schedule, and I understand her career being important and that was a new job for her so I didn't force the issue.

Ms.Rose texted me congratulations, and that's all the news from across the pond. I felt sad, and disappointed in myself that I ruined this day for myself. I had my hopes up that he would at least wish me luck, but he didn't. I swallowed the tears that wanted to pour down, I did my makeup too good to cry. Especially if they weren't going to be happy tears.

The light blue robe, purple sash and black cap made me feel regal.

I did it dad.
I'm a nurse practitioner!
I chant to myself, somehow convincing myself he'd hear me. My emotions were running at all time high, and as exciting and proud as I was I wanted to get this day over with and just go back home to spend time with my mom.

They instructed us to walk out and I look up again, still no one but my mom. I wave up to her and she can barely see me, cause I can barely see her but some how she manages to wave back at me. My stomach growled and I cursed myself for not eating the slice of hard dough bread she tried to force feed me. Instead I had a cup of Milo, to calm my nerves.

Soon after they walked us out the ceremony started, after the speeches and endorsements they began calling our names. They called my row up, and I breathe through the nerves.

What if my heel broke?
What if I tripped?

Pushing down the anxiety, I waited next in line.

"Killian Rubis Andrade-Su." The announcer calls my name, and I look up to see my mom holding up a Jamaican flag, screaming her head off. Heat rushes to my cheeks as I shake my deans hand, he hands me the rolled up paper, we take a picture and I walk across the stage waving at my mom.

I'm happy because I'm making her proud, but I'm sad because she should be up there with Declan and my Dad. Not alone. I quicken my walk to get off stage faster because I could puke with everyone staring. As I sat back down in my seat I took a breath of relief and waited for them to instruct us to move our tassels.

My class size was medium sized, so they got through the names in about an hour. After the deans speech, "Graduates you may now move your tassels, you are now masters degree holders!"

Moving my tassel I look back up at my mom, and couldn't see her anymore. The commotion of post graduation excitement ensued and I was ready to dash it to the door, I made it through the crowd of people and she was waiting for me at the entrance of the mini stadium.

I ran up to her and she hugged me tightly, "I'm so proud of you baby." She kisses my cheeks. "Come on, I know you're hungry." Pulling me to the car, she points me to the passenger seat. I was always glad my mom didn't care about tickets for parking at hydrants cause it always saved us the unnecessary walk back to a parking garage.

"Okay, you know I love being a passenger princess." I blush getting into the passenger side, and she pulled off carefully into the Queens traffic.

"So where are we eating?" I ask her pulling out my phone, googling places near me we could grab a quick bite.

"I have a spot in mind, in the city. Food is suppose to be good." I nod and sit back enjoying the ride, and taking selfies.

I had blonde highlights at the moment, and I planned to take as many pictures as possible cause I wasn't sure if I liked this style enough to do it again. Proud of myself that I didn't cry my makeup off, I took a selfie of me and my mom together.

Ameenas name popped up at the top of my screen and I ignored it, not wanting to interrupt the time I was spending with my mom. She deserves my full attention, especially with how much she's been here for me these past few months.

About fifty pictures later and some traffic we finally find parking in the city, "Leave your gown on, but open. You graduated but you look beautiful. Show it pretty girl." My mom instructs as I went to leave my gown in the car.

Following her instructions I put the  gown back over the white and black silk midi dress. I was happy to make her this proud so anything she wanted, she would get. She held my hand and we walked to the front of a restaurant off of pier 15 in Manhattan.

"Close your eyes okay."

I scrunch my brows, "Why? What did you do?" I'm nervous now, and she is just so sneaky.

"Nothing, but they decorated the table and I don't want you to see." She coaxed me into shutting my eyes and she covered my eyes, and instructed me up the steps.

We climbed steps for what seemed like a long time, and a cool breeze hit me as I assume we got to the top. "Keep them closed." She reminds me, turning me around and instructing me to take three more steps. "Okay open."

My heart hammers in my chest, it's like I could feel anxiety fumes billowing from my ears. Slowly I peel my eyes open, and the first thing I see is my face on a stick, and Ameena holding said stick.

I took off running into her direction, screaming my head off that she was really here after she lied to me, for good reason of course. My body collided with hers and she picked me up spinning me around. "Oh my God! I love you!!" I squeeze her tightly as her arms still keep my held to her.

"You thought I'd really miss it?! Never!!!!"

There's clapping around us, and I get off of her to see everyone who had gathered.

Ant.
Freya.
Boone.
Wadz.
Ms. Rose.
An older Asian man.
His brothers.
And my mom.

"Surprise!" They finally yelled once I was able to take everything all in. My name was spelled with balloons, and they added my new title to the end.

Killian A-S, F-NP.

I was so blessed to have these people in my corner, always there to support me. I take in all the decorations, pickets signs with my face printed on them. I walked around giving everyone a hug, thanking them for coming. Even Wadz pushed his attitude aside, to give me a hug and congratulate me.

"Proud of you Kiddo." He says flicking my tassel. I shoot him a quick smile, and lean into Freya who gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"I need some pressure pills. I'm your first prescription!" She says happily.

Finally I get to Oakleys mom and the gentleman who's chatting amongst themselves, and I stick my hand out to shake his hand. He pulled me into this bone crushing hug, chuckling he let me go. "Neil Su. Oakleys dad." The older Asian man says, his accent oddly Caribbean though. Maybe Guyana.

"Nice to meet you Sir,"

"No need for formalities. Rose was telling me you've been in medicine for a while?" I nod and smile, glancing at Rose who had a devious smile on her face as she walks over to my mom.

"Yeah, since about nineteen. I was able to graduate early and did a surgical tech program, before I switched to an associates in Nursing." Neil seems intrigued by what I've said.

"I'm glad Oakleys found a smart young lady like yourself." He gives me a smile, that in the eyes is similar to Oakleys, and I looked down. Not wanting to really come to terms with the fact he missed my graduation, and was now missing the celebration.

"Oakley and I...we actually aren't together." I step in closer to inform him, and he straightens his posture with a subtly shocked face.

"Hmm, well he should rethink that. Not often someone who feels as genuine as you do, comes around. Either way, enjoy the fruits of your labor." Neil tips the whiskey glass in his hand slightly towards me, with a small smile and walks away.

With no one paying attention to me, I'm able to sneak away back down the steps to take a breather. Really tears were just welling in my eyes from the encounter I just had.

It fucking sucked that he would tell his parents we were together when we weren't, he fed me hope, and bullshit constantly and I was always just holding on to that little piece. He wouldn't talk to me but he'd talk to everyone around me, make me feel crazy for wanting him as bad as I do and when I confess to it he just, quits me cold turkey.

"Shouldn't you be enjoying the party, princess." The voice startles me, and my hand quickly comes up to my chest.

My Oakley.

He stands there with my favorite color on; green. So handsome, I wanted to run to him, and hug him and tell him how much I missed him, and that I was sorry if I made him question us, but he didn't deserve that. I marched over to him, and slapped him across the face.

He nodded, holding his face. "I deserved that."

Sucking up my tears I turned away from him and walked back into the party, what a fucking prick. I joined the party walking over to my mom and Ameena, before his brothers caught my attention. I walked over to them hugging them both, "So big sis is a top Killi now innit." Liam the older of the two playfully punched my shoulder.

I smell his cologne near me, "Yeah teach Cench a thing or two." Calvin the younger nods toward Oakley, he puts his arm around me. I fight the urge to roll my eyes, just so this way it wasn't obvious we weren't on good terms.

"Teach me what you little shit." Oakley throws a mini carrot at Calvin's head.

I elbow him in the stomach, "Don't be mean." He hunches over slightly rubbing his side, and I reach over and wipe the water droplet off of Calvins head.

"Thank you Killi." Calvin wraps his arm around my shoulder, and kisses my cheek. My eyes widen and I squeal, as Oakley reaches around and smacks him in the head.

"C'mere." I weave back and Oakley playfully puts him in a headlock, "Cench what are you doing?" Rose begins to walk over rolling her eyes.

"Fixing his hair." He quickly responds. The boys stop playing around the moment their dad walks by, and the dynamic is comical to watch. A family dynamic I hadn't witnessed in a while, and as both their parents enclosed us, Oakleys dad keeps looking between the both of us.

Trying to see if my words were true I suppose. Both younger boys stood next to me as their mom snapped photos, "Finally another girl around!" Rose cheeses while snapping pictures.

"Okay now you and Oakley," She instructs the other boys away, and he gets closer to me sliding his hand under my robe. Gripping my side with force, my robe covered his hand as he squeezed my hip tightly as his mom snapped photos. My hand rested up on his shoulder awkwardly, and he bent down to kiss my cheek.

"Ooo hold that pose! I need pictures as well." My mom comes running from the corner to get pictures of her own, and I can't help but to want to shrink under his dads heavy gaze.

Can he see how much I cry over his son?
Can he see how much loving his son drains me?

But both of our moms just look so happy and in the moment, I can't break their hearts.

I can feel the gaze of those who know what's really going on, and Ameenas burns the worst. All I want to do is explain to her that I don't want to ruin the mood of joy and celebration that was set.

"Oh you guys look amazing together." My mom compliments, and Rose puts her hand to her chest. "Just beautiful right?"

I can't stand to hear them talk about us as a couple anymore, so I break free from his grasp to go with Ameena and Freya. Ameena beckons me over, "So he wants you now?" She rolls her eyes, sipping her drink.

"Mens don't start please. I don't want anyone upset at each other right now." I attempt at taking her mind off the matter, but I can see the gears moving in her head.

"He just gets to act as if everything is okay in front of them. It's sickening." Ameena scoffs, as we watch him hug my mom from afar. There's that love hate thing.

I had never introduced my mom and Oakley because even with me wanting to be with Oakley, we didn't seem like we would last so I never introduced him as my boyfriend. Everyone from England my mom knew as my friend, and I know I should be making the introductions between them right now but why? Why, when after this event he would jet set back to London and treat me as if I didn't exist again.

We went through this before the two year break, and I didn't have much energy for this back and forth again. We weren't twenty six anymore, now we were all pushing thirty and these games felt very high school. I couldn't even get him to text me back. Embarrassing even, to know my peers are moving in together, getting married, and trying for kids maybe. While here I was, on my second degree, with a vibrator as a partner.

This was the first time I'd seen my mom genuinely smile in a long time, as she was getting on with Oakley and his family. His mom especially, those two laughed hard together, harder now that they both had a drink in their systems.

Oakleys dad was quiet and reserved like him, watching the things around him, and that's exactly what he did in this moment. Watching Oakley, as if what I told him earlier was on the forefront of his mind as he watched how his son interacted with me earlier. Maybe his actions contradicted my words, so it made me seem like a liar.

As the party went on, with everyone getting closer and getting to know one another, I stayed clear of Oakley because now just wasn't the time. I grabbed a little drink before they announced we would be moved downstairs for the diner portion of the party. Everyone mingled and I found a comfortable spot in the corner to hide myself, while I looked for a photo to send my aunt of Frey and I.

I felt his presence but didn't look up, because engaging with him was difficult for me right now. This was my day, and his pompous attitude was very off putting.

"They're calling everyone inside." He corners me, towering over me, even in my heels. Without looking at him I move to the left, and so did he. I moved right, and again he stepped right.

Finally I look at him, "Move."

"What, no kiss, no hug?" I couldn't believe he was being this smug, and arrogant.

"Oakley move."

"Princess-"

"Don't fucking 'princess' me, fuck you!" My tone is sharp as I shout in a hushed whisper.

"Fuck me?" He points to himself.

"I don't want to talk about this right now-" Quickly I step forward and I'm so close to getting away before he grips my elbow tightly pulling me back into him.

"No talk about it. What did I do?" His eyes are dark and empty, as that night three years ago when he broke my nose.

"So you want to act dumb? You don't text or call me for weeks. You miss out on my ceremony, and then just act like nothing is wrong. When everything is very wrong." Since the issue wasn't clear enough, I mapped it out for him.

"So please just let me the fuck go, so I can enjoy dinner with those who came to celebrate me." Snatching my elbow away, I straighten my posture, push a smile on my face and walked into the glass enclosed dinner area.

Everybody had already been seated, and handed menus. The large round table was beautifully set with a large ice sculpture 'K' hung on a tilt as it hung from the ceiling. Green and gold confetti decorated and shimmered through out the space, black draping made it feel elegant and opulent.

The inside of the venue was just as breath taking as the outside, and I'm overwhelmed with emotion at the sight of everyone here to celebrate me. Everyone except two of my favorite people, and I'm plagued with a feeling of guilt for enjoying it without them, but happiness because I did what my daddy always wanted; for me to be a practicing medical professional.

No tears fell, and I was proud of myself for that. The only two seats still available were two chairs for me and Oakley near each other, next to our moms. He pulls out my chair and I sit down, and when he finally sits down his hand is rested firmly on my knee under the table.

Everyone ordered their food and their drink, and the entire time I kept my conversation directed to my mom. Ever so often his hand would grip my thigh, and I would push it off.

After everyone finished eating, a waitress came up to Oakley and began whispering in his ear. Her hand rested way too comfortable on his shoulder, and the way he leaned into her sent a heat of anger creeping through me.

"Thank you, preciate' you." There's a warm tone to his voice, that irritates the shit out of me because you don't even know this girl to be so warm and gingerly.

The lights in the room went dim and a projector began to present a static figure, like it was loading a coding screen.
"What's this?" I ask my mom and she shrugs, "I don't know."

The image started to quick display a figure, the persons hair was wavy and graying. My chest felt heavy once the image finished loading.

"Hi buttercup, it's daddy. I love you! I'm proud of you okay, you've grown up to be so beautiful. Congratulations on all of your success, you've worked hard and now you've made it. You're the apple of my eye, and my light in every season. I love you three thousand brownie." It was him, it was my dads voice, along with a holographic image of him.

The hologram version of him seemed to speak directly at me, and the words I longed to hear this entire time I finally heard. It felt so real, like it was really him and I sat there in a catatonic estate of shock at what I just witnessed. It looked like how I remembered him, just aged and he looked so handsome.

Next to him another figures static loaded, and the tears fell like a dam who's levy had broken.

"Ruby mi raggamuffin," Declan's voice says, and I'm sobbing uncontrollably. "You outdid yourself this time twin. I love you bro, and I'm so proud of you for how far you've come. You gone rule the world lil sis, who Jah bless no man can curse. Lion order, Jah Rastari."

It was really Dex, there, visually in front of me. His dreads, his eyes, and he's wearing my favorite green shirt of his. In the holograms both him and my dad had this proud smile on their faces, and the more I stared at their static prone figures in front of me the more overwhelmed I began to feel.

The lights come back on and everyone is clapping, and I look to my mom who's face is as wet as mine and she shakes her head and points behind me.

Turning around, of course it Oakley, and I instantly feel remorseful for how I treated him earlier. I still didn't know how to react because if he was busy with this, he could've just told me instead of saying nothing at all.
"You did all this for me?" I ask him quietly, and he reached out and pats my under eye.

With a small nod, "Yes princess."

It was shit like this, that kept me so enthralled with him, loving him, his mind, and his heart; no matter how cold it may be. "I don't know what to say." I confess, words couldn't describe what I felt on the inside.

"She means thank you, and she loves it." My mother interjects, and he nods at her without taking his eyes off me.

"I know ma'am." Oakley holds my hands in his, and kisses the back of each hand.

"I love you." He's the first to break the ongoing silence between us, and it's with those words.

I know I'm stupid for believing it, but it just sounds so perfect coming from him.

Hearing a mini gasp from his mother behind him, I now feel his dads gaze heavy on us....on me. I look away for a split second, to Neil and I can't tell what he's thinking. But I know what I'm thinking, and it's that I'm utterly in love with his son.

My words to him earlier, meant nothing compared to what I felt now. "I love you too." Wrapping my arms around his neck I pull him close into a hug, and as his arms wrap around my waist and my back.

I felt complete again. Like him being back here, with me, in this moment, put me back together again.

"I love you O." I say again, and I see him mothers smile so bright and bubbly, while his dad looks disappointed if I'm reading his expression correctly.

I melt into Oakley, intoxicated by his smell.
"I'm always there Killi, I am never not there. I watched you walk across that stage and I've never been more proud of you Princess." He mutters in my ear, squeezing me tighter.

God, I love him so fucking much.

****

Our girl is a NURSE PRACTITIONER!!!!!!
Purzactly, she don't play bout her knowledge.

Her village don't play about showing up to show out for her either, so they've finally both met the parents.

What's next? You'll never know.

The hologram idea was something I read somewhere Kanye did for Kim when she passed her law exam. It seemed very fitting.

Happy holidays if you celebrate, but please do not forget the people living under oppressive regimes all across the globe. More than 100 children in Palestine died over Christmas Day, villages through the West Bank were raided and hundreds of lives were taken.

Free Palestine
Free Congo
Free Sudan
Free Haiti
Free Puerto Rico
Free Tigray
Defund Genocide
Give indigenous people back they shit.

Xoxo,
Xstuhcii 💋