"Okay, so have you packed everything? Toothbrush?"

"Yes."

"Plenty of jeans?"

"Yes."

"Extra shirts? And not the Hawaiian looking ones!"

"Yes!"

"Underwear?"

"Who needs underwear?" Harry smiles giving me a teasing smirk.

"Harry!" I whine.

"Of course I have underwear. Stop worrying Em's, everything is packed, I promise. All of it was packed the last three times you made me check as well." He smiles and cups my face in his hands, "all you need to do now is worry about missing me."

I smile against his warm palms, unable to control my dimples properly when he's around. "You know I'll miss you more than anything in this world." My voice remains soft and genuine so he knows I'm being serious.

Today is the day that the lads leave for tour and I'm reluctantly excited. I'm happy for them all but I kind of wish they were staying too, I've gotten so use to having them around that it's difficult to watch them go again and not be able to do anything about it.

"You'll be fine I promise." Harry's lips land softly on my nose, the skin there warming due to his touch until he pulls away and places his forehead on mine. "I love you." He whispers to only me.

"You're okay." I whisper cheekily with a wide smile on my face. He rolls his eyes and with a playful scoff begins to walk away before I haul him back, "alright! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." His perfectly emerald green eyes glance down at me expectantly. "I love you Harry."

"Good." He gives in, placing a warm kiss to my lips. I genuinely, with all my heart, love this man, and he deserves the very best after putting up with me for these last three years. His lips smother mine passionately and my arms wrap tighter around his waist, I'm going to miss him so much, I owe him my life. "Til death do us part." I hear him mumble as we pull away, my fragile heart clenching at his words.

"Right, so everything's packed?" I ask more to myself than to Harry, I know how much he enjoys going on tour; his face lights up whenever he see's his fans and he gets this little sparkle in his eye.

"Yes dear." Harry's eyes roll yet again and I give him a gentle nudge, I'm just being overprotective, I always am whenever he leaves.

"And Harry, for the last time, be careful on stage! You know that the fans throw things and I don't want you getting hurt." My hands lie on his chest as I advise him, it's true though, the fans do tend to throw things and Harry hasn't quite understood the concept of dodging yet.

"Yes dear." He mocks me again.

"Harry I'm being serious. Louis told me he was hit in the eye not long ago, Niall's bad knee was hit, and I'm pretty sure you've been hit in the crotch a few times. Just be careful."

"Okay, okay. I will."

"That wasn't too hard now was it?" I smile up at him cheerily.

Although, Harry being Harry, his corrupt and dirty mind twists my words meaning I'm left with nothing but a smile and a raised eyebrow. "That's what she said."

"Ugh." Why is everyone saying that to me lately? I'm going to have to start watching what I'm saying around these lads. "Anyway..."

He laughs at my attempt to move the conversation along, even though Harry can be a big kid at times that's one of the things I love about him; how he manages to find the best in any situation, and can make me smile no matter what is going on at the time.

"So what are you going to do while I'm gone?" He smiles down at me. I love it when he towers over me, it gives me this feeling of safety; and when his eyes sparkle down at mine, I can't help but feel perfection in the moment.

"Oh I don't know, maybe have a few parties, meet some guys, buy a fish." His low voice chuckles as I continue, "that kind of thing." He knows full well that I'm teasing him, I can see by that small smirk making it's way onto his face that he's enjoying himself too.

"So the usual then, yeah?" I laugh at his response as he plays along with my crazy ideas. "What would you name the fish?" My hazel eyes flit up and to the top right corner of my vision as I think carefully at his inquisitive question. What would I name a fish?

"Probably something original, like, 'fish'."

"You would name a fish, 'fish'?" He raises his eyebrow in disbelief. I don't know why he's giving me that look at all; you see, when Harry was younger he had a pet hamster, and do you know what he decided to name that pet hamster? 'Hamster'. Therefore he has no right to judge me.

"Yup." I say, completely content with my name choice.

"Okay." I hold an internal laugh, he's thinking the exact same thing as I am, that's why he's so passive on the subject, because he knows he's done the same. A victorious smile makes it's way onto my almost smug expression and I plant a light kiss to the corner of his mouth.

A loud beep echoes around the house from outside, signalling that Paul and the rest of the lads have arrived to pick Harry up and head off to the airport. My heart sinks at the remembrance, he's actually leaving me, right now in fact.

"I'm going to miss you, weirdo." Harry's husky and rich voice whispers into the top of my head, my hair muffling his words.

"I'll miss you more idiot." I place a lasting kiss to his lips before a small knock taps against the front door. "I love you." I peck his lips again, I don't want him to go. I'm so happy for him but my heart tears with reluctance, I know he's going, I can't prevent that - I just wish we could have had a little bit longer... Tears forever prick at my eyes and I stare up at him, taking in all the beautiful features of my husband before he leaves for One Direction's European tour.

"I love you, I'll call you when I can. And promise me that you'll take care of yourself." His voice almost pleads me. I can't even begin to imagine what Harry would feel if he came back and I'd gone into relapse. He'd feel this sense of guilt that he wouldn't be able to escape, and I never want him to go through something like that because of me - he's been through enough lately and I don't want to be the cause of any more pain in his life.

"I promise." I mutter with a heartfelt manner, and with one final kiss, he's gone.

Silence.

"Hey," a soft voice startles me, making my eye's shoot straight up to the source. "We thought that considering we're all on our own, that we could be on our own's, together." Eleanor offers me a small peaceful smile, strolling over to me and wrapping her arms around my shoulders in a well-needed hug.

"Thank you, that sounds great." My smile isn't a full one but it's still genuine as we go hand in hand to my living room, Danielle and Hayles following suit.

"So what do you guys want to do then?" Danielle asks with a sigh. We're all aware of the fact that these months without the lads are going to be tough, but as long as us girls stick with each other then I'm sure we'll be fine.

Also there's that big elephant in the room on how I'm going to handle everything without Harry; I know the girls are worried because there's always that possibility that I could relapse, although I feel a lot better than I was before. It's funny how simple things like just walking down the stairs or eating a meal are huge accomplishments for some people, those simple things like walking or getting dressed that everyone takes for granted but if you can't do them you feel hopeless.

My thoughts are broken all of a sudden and I return back to the comfort of my living room, remembering the question Danielle just asked the three of us. Please nothing outside, I tell myself hoping they can secretly hear me somehow. "How about we go shopping?" Hayley adds and I roll my eyes with a smile. After knowing each other for our entire lives she would be the one to says that.

"Em's, how do you feel about that?" Eleanor asks with concern flooding her facial features. She's so lovely and always really considerate of other people's emotions.

"Yeah, sure." I attempt to hide me reluctance. You see the thing is, I haven't really left the house since I got back, and the public have only seen me thrice in the last six weeks - those three occasions were: when Harry took me home from Hayley and Niall's place, when I left home to go to the rehabilitation clinic, and when I left the rehabilitation clinic to come home, but that's it; they haven't seen me as stable as I am now. They haven't seen any type of progression in me whatsoever.

And if I'm being completely honest, I'm not really up for their judgemental glares as of right now. The world is a scary place and when you're a well known part of it, people seem to judge you more. I've been kept away from social media lately, Harry said that I wasn't allowed to go near it; although, we read a lot of fan mail which kept me fighting strong.

The truth is, I have no idea what anybody thinks about the events that have occurred in the last couple of months, they probably hate me as much as I hate myself really.

"It's settled then, we're going shopping!" Hayley chimes and the three girls let out a small ecstatic squeal.

"What about Perrie?" I ask not really wanting to leave her out.

"We'll call her on the way, she said she was at rehearsals this morning-"

"Oh, maybe you could call Sophia too! She's really lovely." Hayley interrupts Danielle.

"Aww yeah that'd be lovely, she was really sweet."

"Wait who's Sophia?" I ask after Danielle coo's.

"We met her not that long ago, she's a friend of Liam's and she's really lovely." Eleanor smiles shyly knowing that I obviously feel a little bit left out, the girls clearly met her when I wasn't at my best. I don't blame them really, I haven't been a very good friend lately.

"Yeah and she works with me in fashion!" Hayley smiles excitedly, well it's nice to know that they're all happy.

"Come on then, let's get going." The girls follow behind me happily as we exit my house. I glance down at my outfit and wonder if I should change, should I?

Well I'm currently wearing some mid wash skinny jeans, long brown boots and a cream jumper; and this morning I decided to put some earrings in for the first time in forever. I don't think I'll change, I'm happy with my outfit choice considering I've just been wearing pj's for the last six weeks.

I lock the door firmly behind me and smile at the awaiting fans, all of them trying to contain their excitement as the four of us head towards Hayley's car, we'd go in mine but Russell is a bit compact when it comes to having five passengers; I mean, we'd fit, but it'd just be a bit squashed is all.

"Hey guys," I smile to all of the fans outside, taking a pen and piece of paper from one girl as I do so. "How are you all?"

"We're amazing! So glad you're okay!" A petite girl smiles.

"Yeah we've missed you!" Another chirps, all of them huddled in to try and catch a glimpse of me for the first time in a while.

"Thank you, I've missed you too! I'm glad you're all okay." My voice speaks confidently for a change. The only people I've really spoken to are the lads, the girls and Harry. Just the people I've been surrounded by, and my family also, I've spoken to them quite a bit too, over the phone of course.

I turn and smile at Matt, Hugh and Russell who smile faintly with their cameras. I give them a small nod insinuating that it's okay, I have to start getting used to it if I want to go out more in public.

Their smiles widen and they all simultaneously lift their cameras up to their eye lines, taking multiple pictures of my interactions with the fans. "How are you guys not cold?" I chuckle at them all, a couple of the girls wrapping their arms around themselves tightly to prevent the chilling breeze.

"We're okay, we just really wanted to see you and tell you that we love and support you so much." A red headed girl smiles honestly, her wavy hair blowing in the crisp London air.

I continue to sign the multiple pieces of notebook paper or printed picture, taking the odd photo with a fan that wants it. "Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me. I love you guys too!" I pull them into a group hug, rubbing my hands up and down their arms furiously to creat warmth. I'm starting to feel like myself again, like I'm coming back.

I hear an engine roar and remember mine and the girls shopping trip, "I have to go girls, but it's been lovely seeing you all. Please look after yourselves and go and get warm, it's freezing out here!" I laugh giving them all a cuddle before walking down the small path.

"Thank you Emma!" I hear them cheer.

"Hey," a hand on my arm pauses my movements momentarily, I turn to find Matt, Hugh and Russell all smiling, "thank you for the pictures." Hugh speaks.

"Well hopefully they will be a lot more regular. Thank you for being so patient with me, I really respect that." I give them a hug and pat their backs in a friendly manner.

"You're welcome. We're glad you're feeling better. Take care." Russell concludes as they all walk away.

"Come on, we're going shopping!" Hayley shouts and I laugh at her enthusiasm. Well, here goes.

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- Pianogirl56