I stood in front of the mirror braiding my black hair back for the day, and then there was a knock on the door. "Enter." I said hooking my scabbard to my waist as the door opened. "Paullina?" Cole asked from the doorway making me jump then turn around seeing concern in his brown eyes. "Yes, sir?" I asked as he closed the door behind him. "Max shared some interesting news with me." I sighed. "I've made up my mind Cole I-" "Did the Queen tell you what happened when you were gone?" He asked his voice low. "Yes, but that isn't going to change my mind Cole." His eyes narrowed. "You can't just leave after the wedding if there even is one, you can't leave because you can't see a person with the Q-" "I was going to leave if she said yes or no, not because of my feelings Cole." He shook his head walking closer to me. "You are the one she keeps at her right hand, the one who helped build this army, and if she says no why would you leave if we were to be put to war?" Our eyes met anger in his. "If it were up to me most of all the people we have in those cells would be died." He stopped in front of me confused. "What dose that have to do with any-" "Because if there was a war I would not be able to lead the guard, and if she is to say yes from what I heard the Prince would be in charge of the whole guard and I won't take orders from someone who's a full blooded Boltone." his eye dropped. "You could get a different job in the kingdo-" "No. I need to leave this kingdom Cole and I would leave right now but the Queen wants me here for the wedding, we grew up together so I want that to be the last thing I see. Her happy." I could feel my hands becoming fist when he looked back up to me. "I don't understand why do you want to leave?" He ask his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. "I just tol-" "I get that but there has to be something else." I looked down my hand now opened as I took a breath. "I need a new start a new life, I need to leave." I didn't look up when he was one step closer to me. "Wh-" "Name one thing me leaving will effect besides people missing me." When I looked up at him his face was closer to mine than usual. "If you leave do you truly think the Queen will be happy?" I backed away from him grabbing my swords from my weapon rack. "Yes, after some time." I told him gruffly. "So that's it you're leaving after wedding and never coming back?" He asked stepping back as well. "Yes I've made up my mind." He sighed and shook his head. "Queen Victoria said she wants you to help her decide if she says yes or no, she's in her room." He walked out of the room cracking the door behind him as I followed out walking to her room.

There was a knock at the door as I stared out the window. "Enter." I said quietly, hearing the way the door opened I knew it was Paullina as she closed it behind her and walked to stand next to me. "He's very nice and will let me rule my kingdom the way I'm ruling right now." I felt her stiffen then turned to her tilting my head up a little she didn't look at me. "But if I say yes that means I'll be choosing him over you a-" "I'm leaving no madder your answer." She turned to me her eye like stone. "W-Why?" I asked trying not to cry at her words as she sighed. "I need to leave Victoria I can't stay in this kingdom, or guard any longer." I felt my body starting to shake with my heartbreaking. "What about all the guards that need you?" I asked and she looked down unable to look me in the eyes. "They'll need to find someone else on the guard who will listen to them." I took a shaky sigh as I felt the tears in my eyes. "What about me?" I could barely speak, I thought she would move her hand to my cheek, I thought she would hug me, do something to calm me down but she didn't even move. "You..." I heard her run off and looked back up to her seeing her head down and her hands over her face a moment then she looked back up to me her emotionless mask on her eyes colder then I've ever seen them. "Say yes and you'll have him, but if you say no then that will be your thing to figure out." She was shutting me out, she was kicking me out of her life. "Like You said yesterday, you've never shut me out before don't do it now, don't do this now please?" I asked stepping closer to her moving a hand to her cheek. "Victoria." Her voice had no emotion as she grabbed my hand and pulled it down. "I don't want to do this with you, can you just except that I'm leaving?" I closed my eyes and shook my head. "No, I can't I won't, I love you P-" "Please?" Her mask broke as she put her hands on my shoulders. "I don't want to do this with you." Tears starting to appear in her eyes. "I don't want to tell you why I have to go." I shook my head. "Tell me, I want you to tell me Paullina." I grabbed her wrist and holding it. "Victoria please don't make m-" "Tell me. That's an order." She looked down her tears starting to show. "Scars of a guard seems worse." I was shocked at her words. "They are worse Victoria, they are and this kingdom opens them every time I'm in your room, every time I walk out of here it feels like a weight on my shoulders is gone, I need to leave because...." She ran off her voice cracking. "Do not blame yourself Victoria, blame me and my mind." With her teary eyes met mine I felt like I was going to brake down any minute. "Every time I hear your voice or name..." She paused moving a hand to my cheek. "Every time I look at you, kiss you, love you, the memories of that night and of all the scars I bare." I felt my heart brake from those words. "I-I'm so sorr-" "Don't blame yourself!" I felt her other hand cup my face as our eyes met. "I don't want you to do that, I'm hidden in my mind every time the thought of hurting you passes and right now if you blame yourself I won't forgive that." I moved my lips to her hand and let the tears fall. "Say yes, please say yes." I didn't look at her I didn't move. "Let the Prince love you, and love hi-" "Don't say that!" I felt my whole body shake as I kissed her pulling her close to me as close as possible and when she pulled back I hugged her, I couldn't let her go I needed her to hold me and after a moment she wrapped her arms around me and put her mouth to my head. "I have to do this my Queen." I felt myself crying when she said those words as if she was nothing more than guard. "You have to let me go, when I leave promise me you will move on Queen Victoria." I shook my head my arms tightened around her like a kid holding on to their mother. "I-I-I c-can't...." I ran off when I heard my sob. "You are a Queen you can." She pulled out of my grip I had on her and took a large step back. "Starting now I am your guard nothing more last night was it, I-I'll miss you, and as you requested I won't leave your side, but we are nothing more than a Queen and her guard, you won't hold me close and nether will I hold you, we are no longer Victoria and Paullina we're just guard and Queen." She walked out of the room fast leaving me alone and cold, so cold.

"Paullina?" Maxilla said grabbing my arm before I opened my door. "What?" I asked slipping on a mask. "What happened between you and the Que-" "Nothing important she's going to say yes I hope." I moved my hand from her grip and went to opened the door, but she stopped me shutting it. "I know your mask Pau-" "All I am is her guard nothing more nothing less." I tried opening the door again but she wouldn't move. "You didn't just..." She ran off our eyes meeting. "You just broke her heart didn't you?" She asked her voice low. "She was crying so I guess you're right." I said my voice lower than hers. "And you truly don't care right now?" I opened the door pushing her with it. "Yes I don't care anymore Maxilla I told you that ended a long time ago." I shut the door quickly and slid down in front of it tears falling slowly falling as I closed my eyes, and then there was a memory of the day we were 14 the day after our fathers death.

"Paullina I'm scared." Victoria said holding my hand tight. "It's okay." I whispered as a man ran into the room grabbing me tightly putting a knife to my throat as guards ran into the room. "Let her go!" Victoria yelled as the guards tried to get closer. "Take one more step and I'll killer her!" I stepped on his foot hard making him cut my throat deeply. "Paullina!"  Victoria yelling that was the last thing I heard as I passed out falling to the ground out of his arms.
"Paullina!" I jumped at the call of my name and quickly stood up wiping my tears and opened the door to Maxllia. "I've been calling your name forever! The Queen wants all guards in the throne room she wants to tell us all her answer to the Prince we need t-" "Go I already know what she's going to say, now leave." I closed the door quickly then grabbed my bow and arrows listening to make sure she was gone then walked out the door quickly heading for the training arena I need a distraction.
When I made it to the arena it was pouring down rain but I didn't care right now, I threw up my hood up and walked out pulling back the arrow on the bow and releasing it watching it hit the target of the hay sack, I fired more and more until all 20 of them where in the hay sack then brought down my bow and sighed. "Great shot are we!?" I could barely hear the mans voice and could hardly see him through the rain down pour. "Well I am the master with a bow!" I yelled walking to the hay sack pulling out the arrows and as I did I heard the man run up next to me and pull out an arrow, I turned to see Gene smiling at me through the rain. "Shouldn't you be in the throne room?" He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the rain into the tunnel. I just pulled down my hood watching him push back his black wet hair and shake it out. "Shouldn't you?" He asked his green eyes meeting mine. "I'm not in the mood to stand in a throne room." I told him sighing. "Max sent me, if couldn't already guess." He said as I sat on a bench next to the large weapon rack and he sat on the bench in front of me. "I don't want to hear it." He smiled and laughed. "A talk about you being in love with a Queen is not the most awkward conversation I've had with a woman, now explaining to my little sister where babies come from that is one thing I wish I could forget." I rolled my eyes at him. "Anyways, Max told me something and I'm very upset with you." His eyes turned cold. "It's my choice." He shook his head. "You can't leave, the guard and the Queen won't allow it, and if they do I'll be the only one you'll have to get through to leave this kingdom." I smiled at him. "I need to go I can't stay anymore." He stood up and sat beside me grabbing my hand. "I won't let you." I laughed a moment. "You know even after you found out about how I felt for the Queen you never stopped trying." He moved his hand quickly back to his lap and I put a hand on his shoulder. "I left her crying in her room today." He looked at me shocked. "It was the only way to get her to marry him, and the only way I could leave here in peace." He shook his head and put his hand on mine again. "What about the guard, your guard that you built after your fathers death, they'll miss you, and I will forever be angry with you." I closed my eyes and sighed. "Well I do want to do one thing nice to someone else that would show Victoria that I'm moving on even if I'm not." He tilted his head. "How?" He asked. "I shale take up that offer you gave me a few months ago, I will go on one date with you." I saw the heat rise to his face and smiled. "I'll see you later today." I gently kissed his cheek and left him there in shock making me laugh on the inside.