Author: NatashaSantangelo

Title: 4/5 - It's a very unique title and I kind of love it. It definitely stands out however it is a bit long

Cover: 5/5 - Well...It's just *clears throat* wow. *Swallows audibly**whispers* those abs though. On a serious note, it grabbed my attention which is what you want from your potential readers.  I like it.

Synopsis: 4/5 - It's intriguing to say the least. There were a few error here and there. Nothing a good proof reading won't fix. It is a little wordy at times but still, a very interesting idea.

Plot: 4/5 - This is a very interesting concept and I enjoyed reading your first chapter immensely. I do find the idea very engaging and I would want to read on.

Characters: 3/5 - Vinny seems to be a likeable character and I love mittens. Problem is, there are times where using her power would be good and it's confusing eg, when she's being beaten up, but she doesn't. The family don't seem to be as well written as Vinny so they seem a little flat to me. We also know nothing about Mittens and how he came to live with her. Also, he 'conveniently' shows up during her beating, how does he know where to look? Make that clearer. Claude also seems to be quite an interesting character, a gay vamp is something I haven't heard about. However I don't understand why he doesn't help Vinny. Also, when he says that stuff about being the only vamp there, that kind of confuses me. Do the humans know about the supernatural because if they don't, shouldn't he have a family or something. Xander is a weird one, I don't feel like you have described him as well as Claude or explained why he hates Vinny and tries to hurt her. I'm assuming he's the leader thing Claude was talking about but I think it could be clearer. The altercation with those wolf girls in the bathroom confused me, they didn't seem to have a valid reason to start a fight plus they sound very flat. Make them come ALIVE. I know you can do it.

SPG: 4/5 Few punctuation mistakes which are easily fixed (you said it was a draft) I thought some of your sentences were worded strangely but again, just read over it and you'll be fine.

OVERALL: You have a very solid idea and I strongly suggest you carry on with it. I think the beginning part with the family is unnecessary and a tad boring. My eyes glazed over which sucks because I would have seriously missed out on such a promising story. The rest of it is amazing so don't let the beginning deter your readers.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 24/30