Author: SydneyMckinley

Title: 5/5 - An interesting choice, I like it.

Cover: 5/5 - I love the image and the placement of text. This cover screams romance which is perfect because that is your genre.

Synopsis: 4/5 - I find your synopsis to be a tad bland. It's not bad, but I think you can definitely spice it up a little (after reading your story, I firmly believe you have that ability) I suggest you play around with it and see what you can come up with.

Here are two mistakes I found:

1. '...home state, California, and...' you are missing a comma so I put it in.

2. It's 'knew' as in the past tense for 'know' and not 'new'

Plot: 4/5 - I liked how you ended this chapter, it made me giggle. Okay, you did more telling than showing in certain parts, eg instead of telling us what she sees, describe it instead. Add more imagery. Having said that, I think the plane journey was a good place to start your story as it sets a good pace for the following chapters.

Characters: 4/5 - Your MC was okay; I wasn't crazy about her but maybe this will improve in the later chapters. As a characters, I found her mildly interesting (Lol, the part about the guy snoring like he is having a seizure was quite funny) and I think she has a good 'voice' which comes out really well every now and then. I like how you introduce her to us and I can almost envision this actually happening.

SPG: 4/5 - Your SPG wasn't too bad, actually, it was near perfect if I'm completely honest with you. I do suggest you go over it and proofread a little but otherwise, it was practically flawless. So the two man errors I found are listed below:

1. I don't think gush is the right word to use.

2. I think you are using the ellipses wrong. Maybe try checking out how to use them correctly should help.

OVERALL: This was an interesting chapter that made for a good, light read. I suggest you work on some of the things I've mentioned above but otherwise, this was a good start to your story.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 26/30