Author: EuropaAstronaut

Title: 5/5 - I love this title, it ties in really well with the plot of your story. (I like it much better than 'Welcome to Greenville')

Cover: 3/5 - It's an alright cover but it doesn't jump out at me. In a list of stories, I wouldn't click on it because of that reason. I do like the writing in that creepy red. If you're happy with this cover, ignore me, it's just my opinion after all. But if you're not, there are many people in the multimedia thread who are more than willing to make covers for you. It might take a long time but it will be worth it. (I love the cover for my story 'challenge accepted' and that took me more than 6 months to get.)

Synopsis: 5/5 - Some misuse of punctuation eg. commas. But this is a very interesting idea and I am dragged in, wanting to know more about these characters.

Plot: 5/5 - This chapter is mess. A huge, chaotic mess. But my eyes were riveted to the page until the very end. You have this style, I've never seen it before, and it works so well.

I imagine the ride to be bumpy and all over the place, and I just love the pumpkin scene.

There were a few things that confused me though: You can't die from a bullet wound in the hand but you could die from infection. Max threw a pumpkin at Imya's head. That would knock someone out, but all it did was 'bounce' off her head.

I loved the morbid humor in this chapter, perfect way to start. You really threw us in the middle of the crazy life of these characters.

Characters: 5/5 - Honestly, my favorite character is Max. I really do wonder why he was put in the 'loony bin' and what his past is. I love all of them in that cramped car. Imya has this motherly figure to her and Hong is the crazy, paranoid one. I can't figure what Jane's thing is but I'm hoping to find out. You have created very strong and likable characters, well done.

SPG: 4/5 - Sometimes you had clumpy sentences which disrupted the flow, but for the most part, it was amazing.

-'Deep breathes' I think this is supposed to say 'deep breaths'

-'Glance at the poor idiot' you forgot to add a word.

-'Without further' not 'farther' because this is used for physical distances. Eg. 'How much farther?' while 'further ' is used for metaphorical distances, like in your case.

-'But Imya says?" I think you have an extra 's there that isn't needed.

OVERALL: Wow, what a chapter. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. It was all over the place, and I loved that. The focus is still on your main character so the readers get a little insight to him. I love how you don't reveal until the very end that he isn't quite as normal as he seems.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: HELL YEAH

TOTAL RATING: 27/30