Author: DoxTheFog

Title: 5/5 - Awesome title, I like it.

Cover: 5/5 - Looks very futuristic, dystopian-ish. I think it's a very refined cover that suits your genre well. I like it.

Synopsis: 2/5 - I  feel kinda bad saying this but I don't think it's a very engaging  synopsis. I suggest you play around with it and see what you can come up  with.

Plot: 5/5 - I  love the idea and what you described here was amazing. Your descriptions  are very good as you didn't go overboard - it was just right. Your  story flowed very well (hence the score) and I couldn't fault it.

Characters: 5/5 -  Max is such a sweetie. You managed to capture his 'voice' perfectly.  Alex came across as a tad creepy (*wink wink* my earlier comment) but it  worked.

SPG: 4/5 - You  have a few mistakes here and there but a good proofread should let you  spot them. I made a list of a few mistakes I found:

1. 'I not going to hurt you' I think you're missing the word 'AM' here.

2. You say 'Jack' a lot in on paragraph. Maybe you could alternate with 'him' a bit.

3. I noticed that you lack some punctuation at the end of your dialogue. I suggest you go over it and fix that part up.

You  use a lot of short sentences which gives a bit of a childlike quality  to your story. I think this works incredibly well considering the fact  that Max is 12.

OVERALL:  I thoroughly enjoyed reading this prologue, I think it set the tone of  your story very well. Also, it flowed well to the point where I could  almost envision myself there.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 26/30