Author: blue_bleeding_hearts

Title: 5/5 - It's a good title, I like it.

Cover: 5/5 - I love the image and the cursive text. It goes really well with your chosen genre and title.

Synopsis: 4/5 - I loved how you ended that, very cool. I felt that your synopsis did intrigue me and I wanted to know more about your story. However, I did spot a few grammatical errors here and there. For example: you wrote 'He Is god' but 'god' should be 'God' unless you're adding an 'a' which would make it 'He is a god' or 'He is God'. Do you get me? Also, you capitalized the I in 'is' (I'm assuming it's a typo). There were a few misplaced commas and full stops but read through it again and I'm sure you'll spot them.

Plot: 4/5 - I think this idea is gold. So far, you have a strong plot and I was engaged all the way through. However, I feel like the part where she rips out the man's throat because of his insolence could be written better. It lacked detail, I need DETAILS! It was kinda like he was there one moment then, oh well, he died. There was no build up or description, you could make this part so much more. Plus, how did Zack know she killed the guy? He wasn't there and she didn't even question it. Maybe if you factored that in somehow, like get her to ask him how he knew and he could be like 'oh, cuz I'm de Alpha man' (lol not like that obvs).

Characters: 5/5 - Zhenya sounds like a badass, I like her. The brother was also pretty cool (hey, they're twins.) You created each character with strong, individual personalities and I liked that.

SPG: 2/5 - I'm just going to tell it how it is - This part was terrible. I feel like maybe this was a first draft or something because, don't get me wrong, your story is amazing, but the grammar and punctuation was all over the place. It's nothing to worry about though, a good proofread and edit should suffice in clearing that right up. I made a list of a few of the errors I found:

1. Don't say 'Zhenya's POV' some readers find it tacky and unprofessional. You can simply change this to 'Zhenya' and your readers will instantly know who's talking.

2. 'The stench of it was deep and strong reminding of the past I left behind' I feel like this sentence is missing a few things. Maybe: 'The coppery smell was strong and sharp, acting as a cruel reminder of the past I'd left behind.'

3. You're using both past as present tenses in the wrong order - try sticking to one and describe things happening in that tense.

4. 'I look into his pained etched with lose eyes' I have no clue what you're trying to say here.

5. '31 years were a waste of space' Try 'waste of time' it sounds better.

6. 'Share the same damn blood' not 'share the same damn it blood'

OVERALL: This was quite a chapter. Forgetting the SPG errors, you are an insanely creative writer and I thoroughly enjoyed ever minute reading your story. The pacing of the story was also good and left me wanted more. Just make sure your tenses are right and you're good to go.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 25/30