Author: EternallyUs

Title: 4/5 - A good name for your story, I like it. But I do find it slightly on the long side (hence the rating.)

Cover: 5/5 - This cover is amazing. I love the dark colors as it makes your title really pop out. The placement of the image and the text is just perfect to give you an overall quite polished cover.

Synopsis: 5/5 - Oooh quite enticing. I can't wait to see what this story is about. This is flawlessly written, I couldn't find any mistakes, well done.

Plot: 5/5 - Great opening paragraph, it definitely sparks my interest which is exactly what you want to ensure that your readers carry on reading the story.

Wow, I was hooked on until the very last word. You've eloquently described this scene and I can almost imagine myself there. It was short and sweet, exactly what a prologue should be.

You've thrown us directly into the fire in this chapter but also keeping some facts away to make us want to read more.

Characters: 5/5 - Your MC has a very unique name and I find that refreshing. I'm so damn tired of the same names over and over and over again. She has an interesting personality and I can't wait to see how this develops later on. My only issue is that she's been raped. This is a personal opinion but I'm just going to put it out there. I've seen so many books here write about rape and sadly, it's sort of become the basis of the character's personality. I'd like to see how you write it in.

I love how you portray vampires different to the stereotype- all rotting and smelly.

SPG: 5/5 - For the most part, this was beautifully written. There were a few teeny tiny errors but they are so small you could fix them in your sleep.

-"Live life to the fullest.",  So you put speech marks here but what you needed was quotation marks '', unless you do the opposite and use speech marks as quotation marks and vice versa. Also, the full stop isn't needed inside the quotation marks as you are using a comma outside.

-'But here I was' instead of 'am' as you are writing in past tense.

-This is a bit confusing but you can't snicker and speak at the same time. So your sentence '"...me?" he snickered, his voice filled with venom and evil' isn't actually possible. Maybe try writing it like this: 'He snickered. "Do you think you can escape me?" His words were filled with venom and evil.' I would suggest you think of another word instead of 'evil' because to me, it sounds a tad odd, but it's fine if you leave it.

-Personally, I like to find out the MC's name later on because we generally don't think our names and that is what a story is - the narration of someone's daily life. For instance, you're at KFC and you're eating some chicken pops, you don't think to yourself 'I'm [ENTER NAME] do you? It's the same thing. Maybe remove the 'My name is Fennel August'

OVERALL: This is a very good and gripping way to start your story. I definitely want to know how your MC deals with her life now that she has been changed. I also want to know more about this 'High Blood' stuff. Good job.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: HELL YEAH!

TOTAL RATING: 29/30