Author: belieberkidrauhl4

Title: 4/5 - I think it's a good title for a teen fic story.

Cover: 2/5 - I feel like your cover doesn't reflect your story well. The background looks a tad odd and the yellow dots kind of look out of place. (This is just my opinion though)

Synopsis: 4/5 - It's good, I like it. I do think that you could reword it, make it sound better than it already is because I feel like it's missing an extra spark or something.

Plot: 4/5 - Firstly, props for writing a tactful sex scene, you gave just enough information so the reader knew what was going on but it wasn't too graphic or over done. Now, your plot line so far is a tad cliched: party -> drunk hookup -> rush home at insane hours -> angry parent -> misunderstood teen. Somehow, you made it work for your story and I liked that. The pace, for the most part, was good but I felt like there was not enough information in places. For example, you didn't refer to the other siblings your MC has so it sounded odd when it was randomly mentioned towards the end. It felt rushed and not well explained.

Characters: 4/5 - Your MC sounds like a whiny cow and she is so damn rude! I absolutely hated her! But at the same time, I commend you for being about to create such a real character. I could almost feel her emotions. My main issue was Johnson. You didn't explain who he was to the MC, just that he was chasing her for 8 months. It didn't feel real so I wasn't able to connect when they actually had sex and I didn't get the whole 'omg' moment. The scene with the three girls around him seems pretty cool but it needs more detail and the brunette's actions felt forced. Maybe you could add some more conversation or something.

SPG: 4/5 - Generally, your SPG was good but some sentences were too long and could do with a '.' rather than a ',' Here are a few things I spotted:

1. 'Tried to open the it quietly' and 'When she heard be swear' These sound like typos to me.

2. I don't think it is necessary to drop a double f bomb in the same paragraph, it just looks odd. I am sure you could come up with something better than that to say the second time.

3. 'my mom' should be 'My mom' following a dialogue ending with '?'. You must always capitalize the next letter. (I'm sure this was a typo because the rest of it was good.)

OVERALL: This was a pretty good first chapter. You made your MC realistic in her ways and her thought processes were interesting to read. I really liked how you inform the reader that the content has strong language, that way they know what they're getting into and it comes as no surprise. About that: I feel like it wasn't overused like it sometimes is in books. That was definitely refreshing. I say carry on doing what you're doing but make sure you enrich your chapters with useful information that make them want to read on.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 22/30