Author: geddayup

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Title: 4/5 - It's a  good title but I'm not quite sure how it links to your story. (Maybe all will be revealed later on?)

Cover: 5/5 - I love this cover you have chosen. It's perfect in it's simplicity.

Synopsis: 2/5 - I feel like it's too generic (having read your story, I think you can do so much better.) Your synopsis doesn't intrigue me at all and it doesn't suit your first chapter. I understand that it is only the first chapter but the two have nothing to connect them with. Maybe try writing a prologue that gives us a hint about what is going to happen. You need something that hooks your readers, something more relevant to your story. I suggest you play around with it a little bit, see what sounds good to you. Have a direction you want your synopsis to follow and write. It doesn't have to be perfect the first time but you will get there.

Plot: 3/5 - This story flowed well and you didn't have any inconsistencies. You ticked all the boxes in that area but I felt like something was lacking from your story. Like there was no passion. It was sort of dead, there was no spark that made me go 'OMG I LOVE THIS!'. I'd tell you to read over it or maybe start again from scratch and try to write from the heart (look at me giving advice :) ) But in all seriousness, don't continue with the story if you have no ideas. Try giving it a break and coming back later, maybe start on another project because you are good at writing (there is proof here) but maybe not enough emotion.

Characters: 3/5 - I felt like your MC was a little bland. Your characters in general were a little lackluster and their lives were meh. Maybe you could spice it up a bit, make something happen to the boss (eg, instead of her leaving and putting the MC in charge, you could have her almost have the baby there and everyone is freaking out. Then she could shove over the responsibilities.) Small things like that make your story 10 times more interesting and adds depth to your characters. It also helps us, as readers, to connect to your MC and thus want to read more.

SPG: 5/5 - This section was flawless, perfect. You are amazingly good at writing a piece with perfect grammar and punctuation. Well done.

OVERALL: This is an okay story, maybe something I would read if I had nothing to do, but overall, not too bad. I do suggest you go over it and maybe tweak it here and there, (If you chose to do so, please let me know. I'd love to reread it.)

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 22/30