Author: indievibes

Title: 5/5 - Quite an interesting choice for a teen fiction story but I like it, it's unique.

Cover: 5/5 - It goes with your theme plus the guy is kinda cute so yeah, deffo amazing.

Synopsis: 4/5 - I wouldn't consider this as a blub considering the fact that it is just one sentence but having said that, I like it. It does draw my attention and I want to know more.

Plot: 5/5 - There wasn't much of a plot in this chapter but I loved it anyway. It's kinda sweet, my reaction when I finished it was 'awww'. I would want to read on to figure out more about your characters.

Characters: 5/5 Again, there wasn't much to work with here in terms of character development but I thought you created the characters and portrayed them well. The conversations flowed well between your MC and the guy. She seems infatuated by him and I sort of want to know more.

SPG: 3/5 - There were moments where I thought 'what the hell is this supposed to mean' but that didn't diminish the awesomeness that is your story. Proofreading is definitely a good way to fix these minor error, maybe get a friend to read over it and spot the mistakes because sometimes when you read your work too much, you kind of overlook some mistakes. I'll give you two examples that I found in your chapter:

1. 'shiver unconsciously' you can't shiver 'unconsciously' because the act of shivering is an involuntary response and 'unconscious' is the state of not being awake or able to respond to your environment (not to get too technical on you), ergo, that doesn't make any sense. Also, you can't control a shiver either way so to me, it just sounds a tad odd.
2. 'she was too focused on the feeling of his proximity' makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I don't even know what you're trying to say here so I would suggest you rephrase.

OVERALL: I thoroughly enjoyed reading your first chapter, I thought it was unique and engaging. Definitely keep up the good work because this was so sweet and amazing.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 27/30