SYNOPSIS

'SKY above me. EARTH below me. FIRE within me.'A single tragedy was all it took to change the life of Cyrus Glider, a normal teenager living an ordinary life. Without knowing the innate ability he possessed, he blamed himself for the death of his mother. The accident burned their house to ashes together with his supposed guardians, leaving him the only one who survived. But for Cyrus, it wasn't just an accident.Later on, he found himself looking at the back of his hand. A strange red mark embarked on his pale white skin - the emblem of a legatee. Every millennium, an ancient trial is held, called, "The Legatee War" to choose the next "Rui" - an antediluvian god, known as the god of truth. The Rui was the one responsible for the peaceful existence of humanity. Cyrus has now the opportunity to bring his parents back to life. In the middle of the bloody war, he unexpectedly found himself tangled in a chivalric love affair, which gives color to his life.Thirteen legatees were chosen from every corner of the world. Yet, only one has the chance of becoming a god. The only way to defeat others is through bloodshed. To kill is to prevail. 

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Author: roevolution

Title: 5/5 - Interesting title, I want to know what this 'Legatee war' is all about. It's definitely one of a kind, which is wonderful as no one has the same title as you. Full marks for originality.

Cover: 5/5 - It's a flawless, professional looking cover. I think it reflects your genre quite well. It's very blue and a bit busy, things I normally associate with the fantasy genre.

Synopsis: 5/5 - It gave me goosebumps, enough said. I was hooked from the first line (which, personally, I thought was the best part of it all.) I see what you did there *wink* using the element, I see. Clever.

Plot: 4/5 - It flows well at times and at others if feels a little clunky. I think this has more to do with the SPG (read below). However, you write in some important details, like the death of the MC's father, really well and it doesn't feel like an info dump at all.

So it starts with the boy waking up and having his mother sing him happy birthday, but he notices she's covered in bruises and the light ambiance turns sour. The chapter doesn't end at a point where I feel like I want to read on so maybe think about writing a cliffhanger in there somewhere, just a little something that would make the reader sucked even more into the story so that they move to the next chapter.

Characters: 4/5 - I get that the mother has a submissive personality which is seen when she stays with her abusive husband for the sake of giving her child a father after his died. You have portrayed her amazingly well.

You don't say much about the deceased father but what you did say definitely makes me like him. I feel sympathy for your MC who now has to live with not only the death of his father, but the abuse his stepfather is dishing out to his mother.

The stepfather, just like the father, was talked about. I immediately hate the jerk, I think he needs to die a slow and painful death. (Seeing as this is a fantasy story, I won't rule that out completely.)

You characters are relatable, which is a plus when writing any story and I love how you have displayed the relationship between the MC and his mother.

SPG: 2/5 - I think that you have an excellent vocabulary, but sometimes I feel like another word would have suited better.

-Your first sentence needs rewording. It is a mouthful to read and I don't think it's as effective. A simple: '...mother greeted me as she entered my room. She beamed with happiness, but behind her taut smile, her eyes glinted with a hint of sadness' (see, I haven't really changed the wording of your first paragraph, but added a full stop to break it up a tad.)

-'Mother was unfailingly beautiful, if it wasn't because of the patches of bruises all over her body.' Ths sentence, while I understand what you are trying to convey, isn't really phrased the right way. I would suggest describing her beauty a little bit, then going in for the shock value (which are the bruises that adorn her body).

-'she sounded whispered' I am not quite sure what this means.

OVERALL: Sometimes, your phrasing gives your story that oomph effect, but other times, it is seriously lacking and I think some of the meaning is lost, I do suggest that instead of trying to have all those fancy adjectives or wording, you have your sentences structured in a simpler and easier way for the reader to understand. Other than that, I think you have a very interesting story. It's very unique.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 25/30