Author: AdventureWords

Title: 4/5 - Interesting choice considering the fact that the story is based around a girl trying to get home. I like it, definitely reflects your story well. 

Cover: 4/5 - The image is pretty cool, I like it. What I don't particularly like is the text font. It's quite difficult to read and it just doesn't suit as well as it could have.

Synopsis: 3/5 - As a reader, saying 'a girl' makes it less engaging and I am less inclined to read on as I can't emphasise with her. Tell us the name of the girl will seriously improve this synopsis. The rest of it is very well written and invites me to know more about this story.

Plot: 5/5 - I loved the ending, it was a perfect place to end it. I also liked how you described everything, it was a lot of showing that made me feel as though I was there.

Characters: 4/5 - I like your MC very much. She looks for her way out and isn't waiting for a knight in shining armour to save her. Hob is an interesting character. I am a little suspicious of his motives (Lol it's cuz your MC is so it kinda rubbed off on me) but I do like him and I hope he becomes her ally in all this.

SPG: 3/5 - This section needs a bit of work. You have commas in the wrong place and words that don't make sense. I've highlighted a few mistakes that I found (the most obvious ones and one or two examples for the less obvious ones) 

-'she sighed WITH relief' or 'she sighed, relieved that she was unharmed.' What you put 'she sighed relieved' is not grammatically correct.

-'both girl and MAN' not 'men' that's the plural.

-'"good morning," he said...'  You need a comma after the dialogue, not a full stop.

-'uninjured' would be the word you need and not 'unharmed' because it just suits more.

-Don't use the word 'slash' consecutively in one paragraph, try using synonyms such as 'cut' or 'gash'

-You are missing some punctuation at the end of some of your dialogue.

OVERALL: I think that this is a good story and you're going at a good pace. The fact that you told readers that it was slightly longer than normal was a very good thing however I felt like it was unnecessary. The story was very engaging and flowed well to the point where the length of it didn't concern me. 

Having said that, I think you should go through this chapter and read it thoroughly to remove some of the mistakes I've mentioned above.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 23/30