Author: AwesomenessIsMaThing

Title: 5/5 -Nice and simple. Straight to the point, I like it.

Cover: 5/5 - I like how the image of the girl is very clear and everything else is blurry. It's kind of like she is stuck at a crossroad and doesn't know which path is the right one so it can go either way. (Lol, I doubt you meant for it to have so much meaning *shrugs* it's that weird side of me, sorry). The text also suits the cover really well.

Synopsis: 4/5 - I think this synopsis has the ability of becoming great, but I don't think it's there yet. Maybe try to add a little more to it so it doesn't end up sounding too obscure.

Plot: 4/5 - I actually liked the way you ended the first scene. Let's ditch him :)

Okay, so you seem to be doing a little more telling than showing. Eg, 'I said in a scared voice' don't tell us that, show us. 'I said, faltering. My voice trembled and I stopped, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves.' See? Granted, it's not perfect, but it (hopefully) lets you see how I never actually say she is 'scared' but rather, I show it.

In terms of pace, I thought it was a little rushed in places but it smoothed out towards the end. (Note, this is my opinion, I don't think anything needs to be changed.)

The way you ended it was odd for me. There was no cliffhanger or anything, it felt to me like some of it was cut off, so maybe consider adding a little more to the ending.

Characters: 4/5 - As mean as mean girls are, they usually don't randomly scowl at people when they enter- that is a little exaggerated. The part where you list what kind of people are in the class is slightly stereotypical, people generally don't do that. Also, based on what you have given me, am I to assume there are only ('few' implies around about 3-4 people added to the 5 boys, twins, and the 'kind girl') around 11 people in the class? This is just a suggestion but maybe alter it slightly so it doesn't sound so fake. If you have any questions, please ask and I'll explain further.

I thought that you described all of the characters really well, especially the twins as my first reaction was 'nerds' and it actually turned out that they were pretty cool. I like your MC so far, she has an interesting 'voice' so to speak. You definitely have something going on there.

You introduced two teachers here: with the first one, I felt like you were telling us what he looked like, but this improved when you described the second one because with her, I felt as though I could visualize her the way I wanted to in my mind.

SPG: 4/5 - I pulled out some examples here but I definitely think that you should consider proofreading this. You made small mistakes, nothing major, but I thought I'd let you know in case you'd missed them.

-'Why in the world' you made a typo here.

-'"Dia!" he yelled' you need a lower case here.

-You have to use a comma after speech when adding dialogue tags such as I said. So it should be '"Next time, wake up," I said between laughs.

-Don't tell us the man was 'buff' let us come to that conclusion ourselves, paint the picture for us.

OVERALL: This was an interesting first chapter. I like how you slyly dropped your MC's age in there- It actually fit in smoothly. I took an instantly liking to Cat (who I am to assume will become an important character further along in the story.) I suggest you go over this and iron out some of the awkward sentences- try reading it out loud, that usually helps me figure out what sounds odd and what needs rephrasing. But definitely continue this story, I'm interested to see where you'll take it

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 26/30