Author: humorously

Title: 4/5 - I like this title. It's kind of cute but the one word makes me curious to know what it is about.

Cover: 5/5 - I like your cover a lot. It suits your genre very well =,D

Synopsis: 3/5 - The first sentence is way too long. Try splitting it up a bit.

Generally, I thought this was a meh synopsis. I think it's because it's so common to have this kind of story the synopsis' begin to sound generic and very boring. This idea has done before but in order to make it unique, just fix up the way you present your story.

Plot: 4/5 - It's a good idea but it feels like a skeleton right now. I think you need to focus on your characters to improve this chapter.

Characters: 3/5 - It's a stereotypical breakup scene. I would have liked more emotion here. Especially from your MC. All your characters felt a little two dimensional for me. You can easily rectify this by adding more description to fill the scene or even add more to the actual moment your MC sees her boyfriend and best friend having sex.

Also, the blonde Stefan was kissing wasn't really described well. I know she's not important but she didn't feel like a real person. Maybe try focusing on making her more realistic.

What I did like was that you introduced me to only a few characters so I knew a little but more about them.

SPG: 3/5 - You were missing quite a few important commas which made this slightly harder to read. I made a short list of the most obvious mistakes but I suggest you try rereading this chapter out loud and fixing your problem with commas.

-'Friend's brother' not 'friends brother'

-'a blonde cara didn't know placing kisses' try rephrasing. Eg, 'A blonde girl had her arms wrapped around Stefan as she smothered his neck with kisses. Her free hand was roaming his chest, moving dangerously close to his crotch.' Lol of course you don't have to use this. It was just an example.

-Wait what? 'Seventieth!' I swear she's a teenager. What you wrote says she's turing 70 and I doubt that's true. Isn't that supposed to say 'seventeenth'

-'David, her former boyfriend' you're missing the comma (which I kindly included for you)

OVERALL: This chapter could be amazing if you fix some of the issues I highlighted above. I think that you need to add more description to help make the scene come alive.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 22/30