Author: StrikerShadow

Title: 5/5 - Ooh, I do like your title, it stands out to me.

Cover: 5/5 - I think the simplicity of your cover actually is what makes this good. The black block text stands out against the slightly blurred background makes it eye catching and is one of the reasons why I would click on the cover. Initially, I thought the cover didn't do your story justice but thinking on that, I realized that it actually kind of works.

Synopsis: 4/5 - This is a pretty cool synopsis, however you are missing a few commas, I've rewritten it for you with the commas in the right place.

'Striker, a person with some unusual abilities, ends up on the tail of a serial killer with his own abilities (the wording is slightly off, maybe try: with similar abilities to his own.) What starts out looking like a run of the mill murderer ends up leading to a bigger conspiracy. Striker is forced to put together a few associates, many with their own abilities, in an attempt to both dig deeper and hunt down the killer.'

Plot: 4/5 - This was a very interesting and action packed way to start your story. I loved how you jump right into the action -non of that boring dillydallying (even though that could be good in some cases, to build up the scene.) I liked how everything was described and it felt almost real, I could practically imagine myself there. On the downside, I did feel that it was kind of rushed towards the end so maybe go over that and add more description to it.

Um, small question: these match things, they set fire to things that were living or are living. Wouldn't that cause the grass to go up in flames too, and the surrounding trees? They are technically alive so...

Characters: 4/5 - Okay, I'll start with your MC. he's funny and a tad sarcastic. I love his humor and his personality, that really shines through to me which is vital in hooking the reader because they must be able to connect with your characters. I was able to do that so good job. Downside: He never really mentions how he is able to just fix himself and I'm left just a bit confused. Does Danny know about his regenerative abilities? Also, you kind of gloss over him not sleeping for 'almost a week.' Normal humans would basically go crazy after 72 hours of no sleep and a week would probably either kill them or leave them seriously psychologically damaged beyond repair. So yeah, you definitely need to go over this part and explain a lot more.

Danny: I thought he was an interesting person. I loved the banter between him and your MC and I could tell that they were close. He didn't feel 2D to me and I actually kind of cared about what happened to him. There is good character development.

SPG: 4/5 - You have a few errors dotted through your work, they're mostly commas and full stops in the wrong place. I've made a list of the most obvious ones but there were a few others so go over your chapter and maybe read it out loud. That's what helps me spot most of my mistakes.

-The wording of your first sentence isn't quite right. What I mean is that the use of 'as' implies that there is something coming later on so it isn't a good opening. Maybe try removing the 'as' I slowly walked through the Canadian woods, gripping the handle of my 9mm Scorpion Evo sub machine gun tightly.

-'Thing's stomach' not 'Things' because that is plural.

-'After a bit, the...' you're missing a comma (I kindly added for you)

-'Inside.' You don't use a comma here, you need a full stop.

-What you are saying here is 'Favor is done' so then the version should be 'favor's done' not 'favors done.'

-'...crap like this, I'll kneecap you' you are missing the comma here again.

-'"Fine."' you need a full stop and not a comma (which you used)

OVERALL: OMG! I have read this before and I freaking loved it. Cracked me up, it did. All I can say about this chapter is go over and fix the commas and the MC character problems I mentioned above and you're good to go.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 26/30