Author: celiajay

Title: 5/5 - I like it. It suits your chosen genre well which is the main thing.

Cover: 3/5 - Personally, I don't particularly like the cover. It looks very cutesy and not what I would generally look for in a science fic story.

Synopsis: 3/5 - I don't know how to help you on this considering I have pretty crap synopsis' but I felt like it didn't flow as well as it could have and it just sounded a tad odd when I was reading it. Eg, you wrote 'It has been a huge seller ever since it started selling' maybe change it to 'ever since it came out.' Maybe use less commas and more full stops to get your point across. Having said that, I liked how you didn't reveal the main plot line which will definitely keep people intrigued.

Plot: 5/5 - I enjoyed your plot so far, it sounds unique and that drew my attention. Your pace was good for the most part but at times I felt like you could add more description, eg, when your MC is walking to her seat.

Characters: 5/5 - I love the sound of your MC, she's unique and interesting to read.

SPG: 4/5 - Some of your sentences didn't make sense (this could just be a typo so a good proofread should fix that.) I also noticed that you repeated the same words sometimes. Don't be shy to go crazy on the adjectives, all the best books are full of them, (lol, just don't go overboard). For instance, you wrote 'I walked through the nearly empty hallways and walked to my class.' We know she's walking, maybe try snazzying it up a little. Tell us more. Eg 'My quick footsteps echoed through the eerie hallway. I was only a few minutes late and the long hallways were nearly deserted, my heavy feet the only sound pounding through the silence. I sped up slightly as I rushed to my classroom located (insert location)' Granted, it's not perfect but can you see what I did there? I sort of set the scene for the reader.

OVERALL: This was a good first chapter, you have a promising plot and an interesting MC which kept me reading all the way through.

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 25/30