Author: musokah

Title: 5/5 - It's an interesting and quirky title, I like it.

Cover: 5/5 - I think you chose the right cover that reflects your story well and kind of hints at the genre so just by looking at it, I can instantly say it's teen fic.

Synopsis: 4/5 - So Imma base this on the one you currently have (I just checked the one you sent using my form is now a 'description' or whatever) but because this section is based on what the readers see when they click on your story, your rating will be from that.

I like the quote. Either it's completely original and you made it up yourself or you copied it from somewhere, it definitely leaves the desired effect and I want to read on.

Plot: 4/5 - Okay, what you tell us here is very brief but somehow it works. I like the idea of how Arabella and Kyle met because that isn't really seen much in this genre and I thought it was refreshing. Having said that, you do have more telling that showing which kind of made me a little meh about this story. I understand that this has something to do with the storyline (The perception of beauty) however I feel like that could have been done another way.

Characters: 3/5 - I don't feel like I got to know them well enough. I know it's not enough to base it on and their characters will come out more as the story progresses but from this alone, I don't think I can say I really LOVE them.

SPG: 4/5 - You had commas that were missing and sometimes the sentence wouldn't make sense. I can't find a point specifically because I felt like all of it could do with a good polishing. However I have this one:'...skin; warm and inviting' A semi colon should be used here as it links the two together more than the comma.

Also, the chapter didn't flow as well as it could have, this may be due to the writing style. I found it a little childish (but it worked well) and a little limited with the description (go crazy- the more the better) 

OVERALL: I suggest you go over the chapter and read it carefully. Hopefully you will spot what I have seen. Maybe take a break then come back to it later (that deffo helps me when I'm doing my writing) because sometimes you see it too much it's hard to spot the errors.

Having said that, this does seem like an interesting and unique story. 

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 25/30