Author: SweeterThanToblerone

Title: 4/5 - An interesting choice for a title but I like it. It kinda works really well for your chosen genre.

Cover: 4/5 - I like the simplicity of this cover. It definitely coveys your genre. I also really like to font used. Even though it's two different fonts, it looks good.

Synopsis: 3/5 - It's okay. Short and sweet. But very vague. I don't know what the story is about from reading this alone. Maybe add a little more under that to let us understand more about your story and get us sucked in.

Plot: 5/5 - Amazing! I was not expecting her to be dead. This was so emotional and touching, I loved it. The idea is well thought out and you reveal just enough to hook me. (As you can see from my vote, I couldn't help but read on to see what happens next)

Characters: 5/5 - I loved both the characters. You MC's voice was real and I felt her pain. Damn you, it was like she was alive.

SPG: 3/5 - You have a lot of mistakes here which kind of ruined the flow of the story. I listed some below:

-'Never got up to your expectations' doesn't make any sense. I get what you're trying to say but the wording is wrong.

-'What did you see' not 'saw.'

-'Anorexic girl (missing a comma here) anyway.'

-'Come home from work' sounds better than 'come home from your work.'

-'provide MONEY FOR our daughter's tuition FEES.' You're missing a few words so I added them.

-'Feelings of loss' not 'lost'

-'The lost I gave you' makes no sense. I know what you're trying to say but the wording is wrong.

-'I'm so sorry if I broke up with you that time' doesn't make sense so either you mean 'I'm so sorry if I broke you that time' or 'I'm so sorry when I broke up with you that time.'

-Your tenses are all over the place. Stick to one tense and use throughout only.

-'Having you in my life' or 'giving you to me' not 'giving you in my life.'

-'Since the day you proposed to me' not 'you've'

OVERALL: This was one of the best stories I've read on wattpad (aside from your mistakes which can easily be corrected with a good proofread) and I think you have a strong idea and a good style of writing. It definitely makes me emotional just reading that so you are doing so many things right. All I suggest is that you carry on being your awesome self

WOULD I RECOMMEND: YES

TOTAL RATING: 24/30