Fallen Angel
This is the song that inspired this little story:
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You couldn't sleep that night.
Arms crossed under your head, you stared at the neutral ceiling with wide eyes, still recalling this horrible day you'd just lived. It was the 57th expedition and you learned that your closest friends had heroically fallen in the battle. By the Female Titan.
You slowly closed your eyes, picturing the sweet face of Petra, the funny mimics of Auruo, the bright smile of Erd and the unique hairstyle of Gunter. You just couldn't believe that they were all dead. The simple thought of them brought tears to your eyes. However, you didn't felt like crying; you cried enough all the afternoon, trying to comfort Eren the best you could.
You were broken at this new, but just imagine how Levi would feel: even if he kept his emotionless face all the time, he was the one who saw the dead bodies of his dear comrades.
You knew Levi too well to be aware about his feelings, even if he didn't show them. By example, his isolation meant that he was seriously affected.
You had met him in the Underground with Isabel and Farlan, and since then, you were always by his sides. He was your idol, your modal, because you admired his talents. Everything seemed to be easy stuff with him; he truly worth the title of "Humanity's Strongest".
And you? Well, you had pretty exceptional skills in knife handling and 3DMG maneuvering. You were even suggested to be a squad Captain, but you refused this offer: being a Captain like Levi would mean that you were his equal, but you didn't thought so, though.
Feeling tired to be tired, you slowly got up and walked out your room, heading the kitchen with the idea to eat a little something to calm down your nerves. You automatically stopped in front of a familiar wooden door. You looked at it, having a secret thought for its owner (well, more the owner of the office on the other side). It was then you heard an unknown noise.
Late at night I could hear the crying
I hear it all, trying to fall asleep.
Your eyes widened when you managed to distinct some... muffled sobs. Your stomach was upside down when listening this sad and heart-breaking sound. You faced the door and bent down a bit to look in the key hole. What you saw threatened you to break down in tears: Levi had one hand covering his eyes, head low, and his broad shoulders jumped sharply with each sad hiccup.
When all the love around you is dying.
As you were about to stand up and slam the door open to comfort him, he suddenly shot his head up, like if he knew he was watched, trying to find back his harsh mask. He quickly wiped away his tears with the back of his hand as taking a deep breath. Levi glanced at the ceiling with sad silver eyes.
"Tch. It's useless to cry for them..." you heard him mumble to himself. "I'm such an idiot..."
Then, he stood up and disappeared behind a door in the back of his office - his room. You were frozen in place, chocked to have witnessed Levi, the Mighty Levi Ackerman, crying.
How do you stay so strong?
How did you hide it all for so long?
You slowly got on your feet and you headed back your own room, still a bit confused, troubled, sad, etc. All this cocktail of emotions only made you wonder about a way to stop his suffering.
How can I take the pain away?
How can I save,
A fallen angel, in the dark
Never thought you'd fall so far
Fallen angel, close your eyes
I won't let you fall tonight
Fallen angel...
The next morning, you hurried in the dinning room, where everyone was eating their breakfast in an awkward silence. It was always in one of those tensed atmosphere the days following the expeditions went on. You walked through the room and finally reached the table were you usually sat with Hanji, Moblit, Levi and his squad. Obviously, everyone had a dark pout and many chairs were empty. Feeling quite wrong, you sat aside Eren and instantly stoke his back soothingly when you took notice of his water-filled eyes.
"You okay, Eren?" you said softly.
"Y-Yeah..." he answered with a fake smile, fighting back his tears.
"Take the day off today, understood? I know you like chilling outside, so do so. If you need to talk or simply a shoulder to cry on, I'm always there for you."
Eren's smile turned into a genuine one. He seemed to feel a bit better at your comforting words.
You didn't look like an ex serial killer, not at all.
"Tanks [Name], it's really appreciate." He nodded.
You turned toward Levi, who stopped staring at you and took a long quiet sip of his tea. Your pout turned into a worried one at the memory of last night.
"Same goes for you, got it Levi?" you almost scolded.
"Hm." he hummed without great interest.
Just as usual, he didn't listen to you. You thought so, but you never have been so wrong. Totally wrong.
From the beginning of your friendship, you were very important for Levi. As the deaths went on, he slowly considered you more than just a friend, though.
You meant the world for him, and so because you still standing at his sides.
It was because of you he was Humanity's Strongest. You always were there with that sweet and kind smile of yours to back him when he was depressed or broken. You were the only thing left to him when he thought that nothing remained for him.
Without you, he would be weak; he would simply be a human. Yet, for you, he had to stay strong and don't allow himself being disturbed by his emotions.
You do it all for my own protection
You make me feel like I'll be okay.
Still staring at Levi, you sighed deeply, knowing how he would feel just right then. You probably were the only one to distinct emotions through his mesmerizing bluish-grey hues.
As he was taking his quiet sip, you saw that his eyes were abnormally sad and distant. You felt very sorry for him; it was just like if you got stabbed in the heart hundred times (and you knew better than anyone than being stabbed is very painful), and you wondered why he decided, one day, to build that protection of steel.
Still I have so many questions.
It was then a brilliant idea popped in your mind: you will make him feel emotions.
Tonight.
How do you stay so strong?
How did you hide it all for so long?
The day was finally over. After the cadets' curfew, you rushed toward the kitchen to prepare Levi's surprise: some tea (Earl grey, precisely) in his favourite tea set. With that, it was sure he couldn't resist...
As you were walking in the dark hallway, you glanced at the tray in your hands. You knew perfectly how he liked his tea: not too hot, but not cold either, and infused just long enough so the flavour is intense. While heading the office of your dear Levi, you thought about what you could say to make him break.
How can I take the pain away?
You knocked at the door but didn't let Levi the time to allow you to enter in. He seemed surprised by your sudden arrival, but his features returned quickly into that pissed face of his.
"Why so suddenly, [Name]?"
"Good evening you too, Levi." you greeted with a light smirk, used his coldness.
"Tch. Good evening." he said sharply.
As you put down the tray, your smirk grew a bit wider. You placed a cup in front of him while taking yours. You sat on the desk, resting on one buttock.
Old habits never change...
"Levi, you should be kind since I brought you your favourite tea."
He sighed deeply as taking the cup in that odd way.
"Thanks." He cut himself to take a short sip. "I repeat my question: what's that for, [Name]?"
You lowered your cup, staring at the perfect-neat floor below. In that angle, Levi could admire the best of you: one of those silky and curly stubborn [h/c] locks was framing your calm and refined features. Through Levi's eyes, you were the prettiest woman he ever met, and so in every way; despite your dark past, everything seemed to be perfect around you. It was just as if you enlightened the whole room with your simple presence.
And that thoughtful pout was truly delightful.
How can I save,
A fallen angel, in the dark
Never thought you'd fall so far.
"It's for you."
Levi didn't seemed to understand.
"Levi, look at you! Don't you see you're broken?"
He froze.
It was just as if you had discover his secret. He stood speechless in front of your state. You sighed and looked at the beautiful man with a concerned face.
Fallen angel, close your eyes
I won't let you fall tonight.
"Levi... Let your emotions out, just for once. The door's closed. Do you want me to lock it?"
His eyes shone with confusion. He was so motionless that you wondered if he was even breathing. His shocked expression made you feel like crying.
Crying for him.
You stood up, under Levi's curious eyes, and leaned your butt against the desk, right in front of him.
Fallen angel, just let go
You don't have to be alone
Fallen angel, close your eyes
I won't let you fall tonight
Fallen angel...
"Just for tonight, allow yourself to break down in tears. If it's not for them, do this for you. We're alone, nobody's there to judge you. Just for tonight, allow yourself to be weak, because you'll be stronger tomorrow." you explained with that soft and carrying voice of yours.
Worried about his frozen state, you bent down slightly and pulled away a few strands of his smooth ebony hair.
"Levi..." you breathed softly, your eyes watering.
A lone tear left the corner of his eye and rolled down his cheek slowly. It was the only thing he needed to do to start. More tears followed until he closed his eyes and lowered his head.
Immediately, you took his chin between your delicate fingers and raised his head up to you. He fluttered his eyes open and his piercing irises met yours.
"Don't be ashamed to have emotions. Feel them, because you're a human being, just like me, just like everyone else."
"But..." Was the first word he said for a while. He side-glanced, as if he was thinking about his next words. "It only shows that I'm weak, and I have to stay strong for you all. For you, [Name]..." he whispered sadly.
"As I said, there's anyone to tell you that crying is bad. Please, Levi..."
You cupped his face gently.
"Just for tonight, let your heart scream what he truly feels."
I was right beside you when you went to hell and back again.
What he truly feels...
As he was about to cry again, he put a warm hand on yours and removed it from his face. He pulled your hand away, what forced you to bend down a little, leaded with your hand.
Out of no where, Levi grabbed your collar with his other hand and brought your face down to his. Inevitably, your lips connected with his, what took you aback. Your theory of listening to his heart went far beyond what you had imagined...
It was better than what you had fantasied in 6 years: his rough lips on your delicate ones was just a perfect match. As you were about to melt for his sweet kiss, he parted to cry more freely. His eyebrows frowned painfully and many tears ran down his pale cheeks. The sight was heart-breaking, but you knew he needed it.
I was right beside you when you went to hell and back again.
Feeling like crying you too, you kissed away Levi's endless tears before getting off his desk. While he was emptying his heart, you kneeled in front of him and crossed your arms on his lap. When you rested your chin in your wrists, you noticed Levi wincing. You straightened when a thought ran in your mind.
"Levi... You're injured?" you asked, knowing you were right.
And I, I couldn't save
A fallen angel.
He didn't answered, only cried. Your features softened with compassion and you started to soothingly massage his tight, trying to reduce the inflammation. You saw his shoulders drop and you felt his whole body relax under your gentle touch. He sighed and weakly cleaned his tear-stained skin with his sleeve. You rested your head on your arm and glanced up at him when he threw his head backwards.
"Tch. Now I got a headache."
"But you feel better~"
"And I'm thirsty."
"That's why I brought you some tea~"
Levi cracked a small smirk. You were just too perfect for him; he didn't deserve an angel like you. Feeling surprisingly light, he raised your chin with those deft fingers of his and pecked tenderly your lips.
"You know me too well." he said charmingly, his eyes half-lidded.
"I think I know you better than myself." you replied.
"And I think I know you better than myself too."
Levi got off his chair to find himself kneeled in front of you (the exact position as you) and he hugged you thightly, holding in you close to him.
Forever.
He would never let you go, never.
"Thank you so much to be there for me." he whispered softly in you ear, his low and sensual voice making you shiver. "I won't thank you enough for everything you did for me."
"You're welcome, Levi."
You two kissed passionately another time, relived to confess your love to the other, and happy that's mutual.
When you pulled apart for air, the raven-haired man stroke your porcelain-like skin delicately with the back of his fingers.
"I love you, [Name]."
You hugged him lovingly.
"I love you too, my fallen angel."
Fallen angel, in the dark
Never thought you'd fall so far
Fallen angel, close your eyes
I won't let you fall tonight
Fallen angel, just let go
You don't have to be alone
Fallen angel, close your eyes
I won't let you fall tonight
Fallen angel...
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