"No no no no no no..." I wasn't consciously speaking but verbal denial continued to spill out of me. This could not be happening. I called out again into the expanse of white.

"He can't hear you."

I spun around ready to throttle whoever had pulled me into this plane. Only I didn't see anyone.

"Down here."

Looking down, I saw a small cat, white with a black patch on its chest, eyes a shimmering purple-blue. The brightness of its fur made it blend into the surroundings like the camouflage of an Arctic animal. It was like staring at an inverted image of Death.

Unable to look away and with nowhere to go, I sat. "Please," Tears welled in my eyes as I pleaded with whatever this creature was. "I need to go back."

The feline cocked its head, studying me. "Why?"

"Because he's all alone. I need more time, I- I'm so close..." I trailed off, trying to catch my breath. It was no use, given the immense pressure on my chest. The tears I had been holding back spilled over and down my cheeks as a sob escaped me, echoing through the silence. The thought of what he might do if I didn't get back had me shaking. It was a good thing I had sat down.

Struggling to contain the emotions ravaging me, I took a deep breath and wiped my face with my trembling hands. "Can you send me back?" I asked.

The cat spoke clearly, in a gentle tone, "And what exactly do you need more time for?"

Taking a deep calming breath, I straightened my back and held the cat's gaze. "I want to release the souls the demon Atticus is holding. If I can do that, he will have a clean slate- a chance to act with purity. I can help him redeem himself by freeing those trapped souls."

"There is a much more efficient way of doing so."

"But the demon's soul will be extinguished. Is it not the greatest opportunity for an angel to save a creature of evil?" My words were quick as I pleaded my case. The ability to debate gave me hope and that was all I needed. If I could convince a demon to let me release captured souls, I could damn well convince this cat to send me back to finish the job.

I waited patiently as the feline seemed to chew on my words. "In your short time on that plane, you have suffered immense pain; yet you wish to endure more?"

Nodding, I confirmed, "I accept the pain. It has the most justifiable cause," I paused, but my resolve was my greatest resource. "I do this with love."

Soft paws padded across the floor towards me. "Then know this- the only way forward is with love, Anything less will lead to your own damnation; for your sentence was not to endure or redeem, but to awaken."

Before I could respond, the alabaster creature dove at my chest, its weight crashing into me. I fell backward, and then kept falling as my whole body drifted downward, freefalling into darkness.

My heart was in my throat both from the sensation and my success in returning to Atticus. I smiled as my body was dropped onto the bed, right where I had been taken from. Unfortunately, I was alone.

"Atticus?" I called as I jumped up from the tousled bedding. Rushing to search for him, I almost missed the open notebook sitting out on the desk. I stopped in my tracks, moving in to inspect the exposed script.

Day 23

I've finally been given clarity. I've experienced love.

Ash has been my savior but she can't save me how she wants to. She's gone now because of course she is. They waited for when it would hurt the most before ripping her out of my grasp.

I'm so fucking stupid. Why did I have to say those words?

And I thought I knew how to torture people. How do you torture a masochist? You have to get creative. Inspire change, give hope, reward betterment- then crush their dreams. It's textbook and I saw it coming a mile away, and yet I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

I tried to .No, I don't get to say that. I failed.

I failed her.

She was the only chance I ever had at being something better and she's gone and they are never going to give her back to me.

I love her and it hurts.

But I'm done hurting.

Swallowing hard, I pulled the book into my chest, cradling it to myself. I needed to be strong for him. Placing the journal down reverently, I tried to shake off my anxiety.

Bounding down the stairs, I immediately took notice of the front door hanging wide open. How long was I gone? Was it longer to him? Did he wait?

Day 23? No, I didn't have time to think about that. I had to find Atticus.

I called for him again moving through the cabin, now with more speed. Not noticing anything else out of place, I stepped out onto the front porch. Nothing. Moving back through the small abode, I stepped out the back door.

The shed caught my eye so I rushed forward and immediately opened the door to step in. It was musty and dim, the afternoon light spilling in to illuminate hand tools and carpentry scraps. A ball chain dangled from the ceiling and I pulled it to activate a single bulb. The added light confirmed my findings but also highlighted a box that seemed free of the layer of dust that coated everything else.

I peeked in. Pawing through the contents, I quickly realized it was filled with possessions of the previous tenant. Notebooks filled with ramblings and sketchbooks with deranged drawings of demonic creatures and mutilated bodies accompanied mundane personal effects like framed photographs and birthday cards. This was all that was left of Bill.

Seeing enough, I exited the enclosure, stepping back into the sunlight. As my vision adjusted, I sucked in a breath.

Before me skulked an enormous black jaguar. Its movements were predatory as it watched me. I steeled myself, my mind racing. This was too much at once. I thought back to the tools behind me; there had been plenty of sharp metal objects to defend myself with should I need to retreat back into the shed. The door wouldn't hold back a full grown jaguar but it would give me- wait...

As the jungle cat's slick body serpentined before me, I caught a glimpse of the white patch on its chest. Of course. This beast wouldn't normally be found in a temperate forest. This was Death, amped up.

My heart skipped a beat. I wasn't going to assume the worst, but a fairly obvious reason for the cat's increase in size and power came to mind.

"Where is he?" I asked, silently pleading that I could even receive a response.

Yellow eyes narrowed on me as the creature whipped around, seemingly energized.

"Isn't it obvious?" I heard in my head, crackling voice amused, "I ate him."

Breath untamed, I felt hot tears leak from my tired eyes as I searched for any sign of falsehood. But deep down, I knew. The cat had spoken the truth.

Still in constant motion, the feline licked its chops. "You must realize he was meant for me. Even with all your effort, he was still rightly plump. A fitting meal for a god."

"You're no god!" I roared, my feet moving forward without thought. "A god wouldn't have had to devour him to collect souls."

The enormous creature halted as I approached. "You're absolutely right," The voice mocked, "I didn't have to- I wanted to. Now, what to do with you?"

A shiver ran through me as the muscular feline began to circle me. "I have only one soul. Does that sound like a meal to you?"

A hearty laugh echoed through my ears. "No, but I wouldn't think of consuming you. A being of purity would not go down well, I think"

Feeling properly overwhelmed, I took a shaky breath attempting to calm myself.

"Though obtaining your soul would be the ultimate flaunt. It would be nostalgic to torment that pathetic excuse for a demon further."

My ears perked up at this. "You mean his soul still exists?"

Yellow eyes captured mine as the cat settled before me, stilling for the first time. "If you can call it that. The void within me is everything I promised him. But it doesn't have to be."

Mind racing, I tried to come up with anything I could offer to this creature of death. But the only thing I had learned was what he didn't want. And maybe, just maybe, I could use that to my advantage.

Eying the feline, I noted the white patch of fur. With the jaguar's height, I would at least have a chance but I didn't dare contemplate what would happen if I failed.

Gray on yellow, our gazes locked.

"You can certainly try," the creature laughed, seeming to follow my train of thought.

Without further warning, I charged at this sleek and stoic depiction of death, a reaper gorged on captured souls and that of a despairing demon, intent to follow him into the dark.

The creature braced as I plunged headfirst at its white chest. At contact, I felt a loss of sensation. It was like diving into nothingness. I felt disconnected from my body, like my soul was traversing uninhibited, but it wasn't freeing.

There were no bearings to gain in this place of gray void. Movement didn't equate distance traveled and time was nonexistent. I didn't have a sense of if I had arrived seconds, hours, or decades ago as I wandered aimlessly.

Why was I here?

Atticus. My heart swelled as I remembered the brilliant blue of his eyes and how they had held such sincerity as he told me he loved me.

A fog seemed to pull back from around me as I focused more and more on the details of my feelings and how a lost and defeated creature of darkness had won me over without even trying, as he embraced the uphill battle to become something more; someone who could relish in growth instead of devastation and allow pure desires to flourish.

He had fought me at first, not wanting to become vulnerable. All I could do now was hope that he had found the strength that love provided.

Drifting through the abyss, I continued to will myself toward wherever Atticus' soul might be. I replayed our time together, highlighting the moments when I had first seen the glimpses of goodness in him. He had hurt me and he had taken pleasure in it- until he didn't. Somehow, going through that shift together was exponentially more powerful than time and proximity alone.

His desire to win me over had started as a conquest to boost his pride but had morphed into something much more powerful. As he received love, his heart seemed to awaken...

Wait- I've heard that recently.

"The only way forward is with love, Anything less will lead to your own damnation; for your sentence was not to endure or redeem, but to awaken."

Was the white cat trying to tell me that I was right all along? Was my purpose really to save him? By admitting his love for me, had he reached a sense of enlightenment? And with my job considered done, I was pulled from him without regard for what a newly awakened and then abandoned heart might do.

New determination flooded me, my search reinvigorated. I couldn't let him be lost to this numbness because of me. Before, it had been up to him to change. Now, it was up to me to make sure all that hard work didn't go to waste.

Hunting for the familiar soul, I weaved around the remnants of unknown beings, other inhabitants of the reaper. A reaper's primary purpose was to help lost souls depart from whatever plane they were stuck on but it wasn't uncommon for disturbed souls to need a reset period. The gray void of a reaper was the perfect environment for that. The distraught beings could take as long as needed in this safe space to process and rid themselves of the memories and emotions of their former life.

A perfect example of this was ghosts. Spirits that couldn't let go for one reason or another would eventually be rounded up by a reaper to be forced to move on.

Being a demon, I didn't know what was in store for Atticus. It was likely he would be lost to the numbness, his magnitude of suffering more plentiful than that of the individual souls he held captive. They would be released. That was the silver lining. But I couldn't be satisfied with that knowledge alone. I would find Atticus and bring him back with me to whatever fate awaited us or I would be consumed by the abyss as well.

I passed more souls, wading through the blankness, focusing intently on my recollection of the demon's soul. With our countless meditations together, I knew I would recognize him instantly. The blood-red eel that peeked in and out of the jet-black mass encased in a fraying membrane would certainly stand out in this crowd of damaged, but much less ominous, remnants.

But as I continued to scour, I found myself growing tired. I had no way of knowing how long I had been searching, but my consciousness was struggling as the weight of my endeavor began to build. If I lost myself here, there would be no escape for me or Atticus.

Doubling my efforts, I pushed myself to endure as I hunted, holding onto my memories tightly. As I focused on the way Atticus had held me in our last moments together, I felt a strange pull, like it was emanating from somewhere guttural even though I didn't have a body here. I immediately latched onto it, searching for the source, desperate to reach my destination.

It was then that my quest ended, the soul in question presented before me like a trophy, shiny and new.