I woke up after another blank sleep, terrorized by the nightmares that were my reality.

Jungkook's beaten face haunted me, and the limp bodies of Jimin and Hoseok left a heavy weight on my chest.

If the nightmares didn't keep me awake, the cold sweats did.

I was really missing Jin right about now. At least his visits didn't scare the shit out of me.

But no, he was irritatingly silent, right when I could've used his presence the most.

Angel lay next to me, her dead-looking eyes boring into mine. I could sense the pain behind her blank expression, and I reached out to hold her hand.

She was really taking Jungkook's loss hard.

We all were, but she seemed to have been glued to him from the start. And now he was gone, and she seemed so lost.

I wish she would just talk to me, let me help.

I could use her support too. 

Her hand was cold, and she quickly pulled it away, giving me one last look before standing up and leaving the room.

I followed her to the other room, but I was soon distracted by the huddle of people by the table.

Walking closer, my heart dropped, and I could already feel the tears pricking in my eyes.

A pair of feet hung off the edge of the table, one shoe missing.

I knew who it was without having to ask. As I got closer, Star turned and caught my eyes, quickly grabbing my hand and squeezing it hard enough for my heartbeat to pulse in my palm.

Her cheeks were shimmering with tears, and I knew mine resembled hers.

Namjoon looked upset, but there was a glimpse of resignation in his eyes, and I felt irritation spark in my chest.

Was he giving up already? We were still here, and we wanted our leader. We needed him.

Yoongi slammed his hand on Taehyung's stiff chest, anger sparking in his eyes and holding back the pain.

"He did it on purpose! He wanted this. He, he abandoned us."

"What happened?" Yoongi's angry gaze met my curious eyes, and his lips pulled into a contemptuous scowl.

"He snapped. We were walking down the street, and there were these cops across the street. They didn't notice us. It was fine. It should've been fine!"

Yoongi's face was pulled up in fury, and Star quickly hugged herself to him.

But for once, the contact didn't seem to register for him.

"I couldn't stop him. I didn't even notice it at first, until he was already in front of them. Right in front of them. He's so stupid! It's his own damn fault."

He rubbed his nose furiously before continuing, and I noticed the blurry tint to his eyes.

My god, he was crying.

"He screamed it. Right out loud. What did he think was gonna happen when he screamed, 'it was me! I killed him! I killed my dad'?!"

"It's like, he realized what he had done, and he turned on his heels and ran. God, he ran so fast. But not fast enough. It took 3 shots before he fell. I grabbed him and ran without a second thought. I don't know how I made it. Why did he do that? He almost got us both killed! Why did he do that?!!"

Yoongi stormed out of the room in a rage, and I found myself wanting to do just the same.

I grabbed the nearest object and threw it against the wall, watching the vase shattering, glass falling to the floor.

"This is all Seung-Jae's fault!!"

But I was wrong.

It was all my fault.

~ and then there were 2 ~