2 weeks. 2 weeks, and Jungkook's death still hadn't sunk in.

Would it ever get any less painful?

It felt so empty here now.

No more bunny smiles, no more of his excited giggles, none of that innocent charm that he so often displayed, despite his job.

The silence was explosive, and we were made obnoxiously aware of the emptiness since he was gone now.

How had they beared it when Jin had died?

I couldn't help but obsess over the fact that it was my fault.

And that wasn't just me blaming myself in guilty regret.

It was true.

I had the note to prove it. I had found it in Jungkook's front pocket as we were carrying him back to the car.

Sin, sweetheart, you didn't think I'd leave you alone? You're all going down. One by one. What are you gonna do about it?
You never should have crossed me.
x Seung-Jae

What was I going to do?

I was going to kill him.

This obsession with his death had taken over my mind - it even dominated over with my hope to live in Namsan Park.

No, I would kill him, and then I would live the rest of my life in peaceful bliss, with Namjoon in the house we had stayed in. That felt like so long ago now. We were different people then.

First, I had to find a way to kill Seung-Jae.

I hadn't told anyone about his involvement in Jungkook's death - though I'm sure they suspected it.

I kept the note a secret. I would bear it alone. It was my guilt, it was my fault, and it was my burden. I would bear it in silence.

And I told no one about my plans - I couldn't risk their lives even more than I already had.

This was something I would have to do on my own.

But now, it was not only Jungkook who's lack of presence was disturbing us. He had company in his grave. Together even in death. It should have been a comfort, but it only caused my heart, and everyone else's, more anguish.

We had lost two more, so soon. Too soon. It would always be too soon.

It was falling apart before my eyes.
We were falling apart. Not one by one, but all at once.

It was only days after. It was a shock, but when I thought about it, I wasn't that surprised.

Hoseok overdosed. He couldn't handle losing Jungkook. He was too sensitive for his own good. I have no idea how he found himself in the gang in the first place. He was too cheerful, too kind. But then, it was a front. Truly, he was a deeply troubled boy. Something weighed very heavily on his heart, and it was probably the cause for his lifestyle choice.

It didn't feel like a choice anymore.

Angel found him while she was walking, and I helped her carry him back.

Jimin was found the very same day. For a moment, I didn't even know what was happening when I walked in on him in the bath. There was water all over the floor, as if there had been a violent struggle, like someone had been in the bath with him.

I deluded myself into saying it was that he had been splashing too much.

If only that was the case.

He looked so beautiful, his hair flowing back and forth in front of his face.

Until I realized there were no bubbles. He wasn't breathing. He wasn't moving. He didn't surface.

I had never imagined he would drown himself. We had hidden all the pills, and taken away any knives he could use.

I should have thought more deeply. But he disappeared so fast, and we were all so caught up in our own pain, we momentarily disregarded his. Poor Jimin. He was such a sweetheart when he wasn't working. He didn't deserve this.

None of them did.

He took Jungkook's death hard, but losing Hoseok had been the final straw. They had truly had a deeper connection than anyone had realized. I only hoped that they were together now, but it didn't comfort my heavy heart.

It was all my fault.

The three of them were buried in the woods, by their old hangout.

After we had buried them, Suga - no, Yoongi. After all this, I think we had reached the point for real names. These gang names were part of an act, and they were crumbling fast.

Yoongi had completely broken down, throwing his chair into the pool and screaming until he broke into tears.

It was horrible to watch.

We were losing our grip on reality, and now, on each other.

Namjoon buried himself in unknown plans.

Star was busy watching after Yoongi, as they dealt with their grief together.

V, ah, Taehyung. Taehyung spent most of his time at the grave, staring blankly into the distance. He hadn't spoken since Jungkook's death.

And Angel spent most of her time alone, wandering. I hardly saw her anymore.

I was lonely and broken. We all were.

Even in my wildest dreams, I had never imagined the actual, cutting, deep rooted ache that I felt when they left. Died.

They died.

I distracted myself with my own plans to kill Seung-Jae. Whatever it took, I would end him.

And throughout this all, Jin was painfully silent.

Even he left me.

~ and then there were 3 ~