I awoke with a start, breathing heavily before swinging my legs to the floor.

Jin really wasn't giving me a break. It was hard enough sleeping on the couch without these talks preventing any actual rest.

I slept away from the others. I'm not sure if I did it because I wanted to, or because they wanted me to.

Maybe it was both.

Yoongi was across the room, leaning against the wall with a half empty bottle in his hand.

I sighed.

He'd probably been there all night.

Watching me.

He had ignored me since my return, aside from the frequent glances, as if he was watching, waiting for me to do something bad. Waiting for a reason to kill me.

It made my skin crawl. His eyes were an intimidating thing, boring into me as if he could see all the bad things I had done. As if he could see the blood staining my soul, the murders.

Murders.

I had murdered 2 people.

I was officially a killer. Their blood was on my hands. Literally. It was a heavy weight to bear.

I hadn't expected a cheerful reunion, of course. I couldn't blame them for being suspicious of me.

That didn't make it any less painful, though.

J-Hope was the only one who seemed to take my return the best. He fretted over me, asking if anyone had done anything to me and staring for so long I almost grew uncomfortable, were it not for the fact that I had missed his face, and his care.

Star had spent a solid minute yelling at me and explaining, in detail, every single reason that I was an idiot, before engulfing me in a hug. I was all too happy to return it, as I had missed her constant touching.

Jungkook had looked at me in uncertainty; he made no move to welcome me, but he didn't seem disturbed by me either.

Jimin, according to J-Hope, was punishing me for leaving by giving me the silent treatment. I only hoped that meant he had missed me.

I don't think that Taehyung even noticed that I was back. He seemed to be in worse condition than before; staring blankly for hours in between fits of intense emotional outbursts. Jungkook spent most of his time caring for him. I could tell it was difficult for him, but he wouldn't let anyone else do it.

It made me nervous. I wondered if anything had happened to him; I wouldn't find out, as he wouldn't talk. Unless the screaming counts, but it was too painful for me to listen. It sounded like his heart was caving in. It made me feel like my heart would too.

The worst was Angel. She wouldn't talk to me. I hardly saw her; a flash in the doorway, a miniscule glance before she was disappearing into another room. It's like she was hiding from me. Punishing me.

She must be mad at me. I mean, for the last few years, we'd spent every day together, so it must have been rough for her, not having me around.

I could understand. Being away from her made me feel like my heart was being clenched nearly past it's limit, slowly bursting. I had felt like I was dying without her.

But she had to let me explain, I had to do it. I had needed to leave.

The more I used that excuse, the more I wondered what it even meant.

Was it true?

After all, what had I accomplished, really?

Sure, I had killed B-Free and Bobby, though the thought, the memories flooding in, sent my mind racing in a panic.

I still couldn't quite believe that I had done it.

Killed them.

I could still feel the blood. I saw the life, the light, the glint leave their eyes, because of me, every time I blinked.

Bobby. He didn't have to die. He was irritating and absolutely terrible to be around. But he was just a kid. I'm sure he had a family, friends, a future. But I had taken all of that from him.

Why did I have to do that?

Why did I do that?

It was me or him. I had no other choice.

But didn't I?

And now, all that had done was make the Double Dragon want my head on a platter even more.

But they would torture me slowly first.

And now, I knew the worst way they could do that.

Kill my friends.

But did they know?

It was obvious, they had to.

I didn't respond much to physical torture, but the pain that would come from seeing my friends killed in front of me, with nothing I could do to stop it, that would be unbearable.

You can't save everyone.

No Jin, I will. Watch me. I can do it. I have to do it. I won't let anyone else die, especially not because of me.

I would protect them. I had to.

I saw Namjoon walk out with Yoongi. They were probably going to the Underground.

I wasn't allowed to go on any jobs. I wasn't allowed out of the building. And I was too wary to join in any of the parties.

It was really lonely, and at this point, I didn't care about rest, I just wanted to talk to Jin.

Even if he wasn't the kindest, or most positive person, and, he was dead, so I couldn't really blame him, he was better company than none. And he had an odd way of making me feel better.