Chapter 6 : I can't love you

I had thought to go back home I mean where could I really go after doing that?

You don't actually feel that good when you do something bad. I expected some burden something to ease off me but nothing happened instead, I felt more restless I felt worried I wanted to check on if things didn't turn real wrong.

I wanted to check on Faisal. He appeared in turmoil never saw him in that state before.

I wanted to check on Soumya hoping not something seriously bad happen to her.

So it wasn't surprising when I found myself ending up at the very hospital, I mean not that willingly because Dhruv dragged my arse on my repeated bugging him to know what was happening.

"I don't even know why I drove you here," Dhruv said his perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed in a frown. We got into the hospital to the hallway of the emergency room where people were.

Soumya's family were.

"You can't just walk in there after that...
I still can't get my head wrapped around the fact but of course only you Ms. Newton only you could land yourself no actually be in the center of such situations. I went for just five minutes just to find my tshirt why didn't you say something to me before leaving just like that? " Dhruv spoke out his muddle thoughts he was still trying to get the hang of the situation.

"Can you stop talking as if we are a team? I am on my own and I know what happened" I said tapping my foot anxiously and peeping over his shoulder to the hallway.

A woman in expensive grey shawl stood up spotting me okay that was Soumya's mom I briefly remembered her from the party beaming proudly at her daughter.

She gave a death glare full ready to come at me only to be stopped by Faisal he turned his face the always there happy-go-lucky silly smile lost from his face. He appeared like a different person. He moved to where Dhruv and I were at the end of the hallway.

"You brought her?" He snapped at Dhruv scrambling to us.

Dhruv scratched his neck awkwardly, "look I don't know what happened one moment I was upstairs trying to find a black shirt and another I heard a commotion downstairs with Soumya unconscious and Sahil confessing... Like how in the world..?-

"How is she?" I cut off Dhruv's rambling, he was pretty shaken since the time I called he had been talking about the t-shirts. He might act like he disliked Soumya or whatever their deal was. But it was obvious they knew each other from childhood and they cared for each other. And also he wore the T-shirt wrong backside front.

"How is she?" Faisal laughed in disbelief, properly speculating me as if I was the different person .

"I will tell how is she" He yanked me by the crook of my arm taking the opposite way from the emergency ward more towards the exit.

"Hey!" Dhruv protested

I shot him thumbs up and let Faisal take me where he was roughly dragging me his grip kinda hurt but I didn't say anything until I realized he was going to kick me out of the hospital. I tugged my arm back out of his hold, stopping. I rubbed the spot where a mark was left.

"It hurts, isn't it? Hurts to nearly lose the love of your life?" I asked putting my hands behind my back and looking up at his face that contorted with disgust.

"You did on purpose Serra? you hurt an innocent just to get even? I never thought you were like that"

The audacity

"How dare you to point at me? When you did the same?" I leaned against the wall observing him.

He shot me a pity look that I couldn't bear, "I know what I did was wrong Serra but now what you did, didn't make you right either"

It's like he slapped me, I got away from the wall and moved to block him when he turned to leave, "oh I am wrong now? Really? When things come to you you start seeing what's wrong and right. Did I kill her? Did I provoke her to kill herself? Did I torture her? Did I do any of the things that you did! I didn't! She was hurt by her own delusions!"

"Shut up shut up!" He marched towards me glaring down at me furiously. There were tears of anger and, agony in his eyes.

"At least Aarav loved me and I loved him too I am brave enough to admit I am brave enough to show but how sad of you Faisal how sad of you being a coward you can never receive love in your life neither from Soumya nor from any girl in your life because you don't know how to show love you- you don't know how to stand up for anyone oh forget about anyone you can't even stand up for the girl you love- "

"You think you know everything?" He had his hands around my throat, he wasn't choking me he wasn't strangling me either just trying to have a grip of the moment, the moment where he was the one intimidated and scared to hell.

I glanced at where his hand was and then to his face when I said unfazed, "I know this much when Soumya gains her consciousness she will ask for him, not you. You killed the love of my life Faisal but at least I had one for real"

He stepped back his hand dropped lifelessly. He looked away hiding his defeated face and eyes red with tears.

I moved from the spot feeling heavy with emotions the flashback of Faisal's smiling face the ever so entertaining and just being the life of the party personality which now was lost it would never return just seeing the defeated head hung down of this boy in the middle of the hospital corridor.

What a pity for me I can never have Aarav back but he could still fight for her

••

Initially thought to check on Soumya but that was off the table now seeing I had to pass through the people who might scratch my face off or just you know have my entries banned from the hospital. I mean I can't blame but still hello I made the call for an ambulance. You won't find such a profound evil person.

Thought of searching for Dhruv he was my ride but ditched that idea too thinking it was a bit too insensitive from my side to continuously bother him when I send his childhood friend to the hospital bed. Even though he cared more about his tshirts! Heard him asking staff for a spare t-shirt.

I was taking my time to move out of the hospital area it was a bitter realization of that, these people were nothing to me but strangers at the end of the day.

Passing by the parking area my eyes on their own accord got pulled towards the black car and the figure leaning against it.

I stopped in my track looking at him.
As if he felt the pull too he angled his head back and his eyes met mine.

I missed his presence no matter how toxic it was.

I found myself walking towards him he turned his head immediately shuffling away as if trying to hide himself from me

I frowned my steps faltered when I saw another figure taller than Sahil and how he pulled Sahil by his collar smacked him. A sound of surprise escaped my mouth, I clasped my mouth.

Before the voice in my head could even whisper that this doesn't concern you Serra turn around and walk away and get back to your home.
I ignored her completely.

Someone was beating Sahil he wasn't defending himself he was taking the hits with no response. It's like the first time when I met him.

At that time I did nothing turned my eyes blind minded my buisness but right now I headed straight to where he was.

"You piece of shit! What's the point of spending on you and having you this grown-up if you can't be of any use" the man in a black coat, shook Sahil's body roughly.

I felt a bit nervous that man radiated some superior aura if not his sophisticated business attire says but my nervous flew away when Sahil wheezed trying to stay on the feet his lip busted he wiped the corner of his lips and said with a hollow voice,
" what? What you gonna do dump me like your real son? Oh, wait you can't do that! Because I don't even have grandparents or anyone just like you wanted you gotta threw me back to the orphanage you picked me from Dad"

Oh oh

Sahils'Dad?

Orphanage

"You son of a ...."
He swung his arm and punched hard in Sahil's face making him knock him out falling to one side.

I screamed.

"Stop!"

The father the ruthless man turned around to face me, he was rubbing his knuckles his piercing icy eyes landed on me.

I held my shoulders back square and straight.

He meticulously put on the cufflinks like he just didn't hit his son and how the stranger didn't just walk in.

I didn't care about any of that.

I reached Sahil in two steps he was slumped against the car his cheeks bruised, his nose bleeding and his face was so disfigured-I clasped my lower lip when my heart wrenched for him.
I tried to help him get in a comfortable position he shrugged the hold off his shoulder where my arm was wrapped around him. "Go away" he muttered not facing me.

I buried my nails in his shoulder again wrapping my arm around him, "shut up"

"And sorry" I patted the spot whet I buried my nails.

I made him sit properly while he tried to make me shoo away again

"Why are you being so difficult!" I snapped annoyed when he pushed my hands off again I was trying to examine his face

He turned his head to look at me with blank eyes they swarmed with light and pain when they saw something in my expression he touched my cheeks I didn't realize I was crying, he chuckled when I brushed his touch off. I wiped my face with the sleeve of my Jacket that I had put it on since I was still wearing the red dress I haven't changed you see.

"Why are you wasting them on me?" He asked genuinely confused.

"So you are the girl who made him call off the engagement," the man asked I literally forgot about him.

He was still there and observing us.

"Engaged?" I said, glancing at Sahil who had constructed the hard closed-off face.

"Put her out of it" he spat and got up stumbling I stood up too and continued holding his arm even though it appeared he wanted to be off standing alone and then fell down because that's what would happen if I leave him.

Sahil's dad's sole focus was on me now. I looked at him with despise how can he beat his son like that?

"Your name lady?"

I answered before Sahil could say anything, "Serra"

Sahil bored holes staring at me. I didn't take my hard eyes off his father who nodded without any flicker of emotions he drew his hand to his Armani coats pocket and pulled out a red card my way, "you might need this Miss Serra"

"She won't!" Sahil declined.

I grabbed the card out of curiosity and also just for the hope he would leave us alone if I take. It will save us of any more conversation which I didn't wish to have I felt enraged and wasn't much sure of what might come out of my mouth.

I stuffed the card in my jacket pocket completely disregarding him and his card, I faced Sahil who had his eyes fixed down to the ground, resigned. I pressed his arm assuring him of what-
the future that was bleak and distorted like our past?

I can't promise anything but the sight of him breaks my heart and wants me to comfort him every best possible ways

"Boy you better get your head in order before we leave tonight I won't be taking you with me with this attitude of yours" Father gave the ultimatum fixing his coat he left not before giving a last glance to me a warning glance that send chills to my very bone.

I watched Sahil

He appeared so small and invulnerable in front of his father. Like the time when he was in dark, alone in his room.

I hugged his arm tightly. I hate this I hate where our lives have brought us to." you going somewhere?" I whispered, hearing about him leaving somewhere far away and never seeing him again made me sick with desperation

He placed his head resting on top of mine, "yeah to hell"

••

I sat beside him on the bench it was actually the hospital park I made him sit there and he pretty much stayed there without saying much while I went to get the bandage or whatever first aid I could manage in a hurry from the pharmacy

I drew a deep breath then got to him to clean his wounds he took the cotton from me, "I don't allow anyone near my wounds"

I snorted and snatched the cotton pressed it to his bruised cheek he didn't even flinch looked at me with his deep gaze.

I said"of course, you won't because you be the one for others" meeting his eyes then focused back on cleaning his wounds.

"Ouch," he winced

I drew back worried, "did I hurt you?

"Yeah, You did hurt straight to here" he put a hand to his chest.

I sighed, "Sahil I- I don't know anything about you because you have never told me you just allowed me to have a villain character of you in my mind. But today when I saw you your father-

"Foster father" he corrected with an edge in his tone.

I stared at him with a softened look, "he was--" I hesitated.

"Abusing me? Beating me to a pulp?" He provided, chuckling darkly

"It's not okay," I said softly sympathizing.

"Oh Serra don't sympathize for me I neither deserve nor do I need. Sympathy would be the last thing I would want from you" looked like he was going to leave I moved quickly and held his face carefully with all bruises and scars," it needs to be treated" I told.

He sighed leaning back, "I would rather leave them like this like this unattended unnoticed"

"Well, that's sad because you met me I can't stop but meddle where I am not required" I tried to joke. I am bad at jokes yet he smiled a little it flipped my stomach.
I couldn't stop but keep on speaking to have his smile intact, "two girls fighting in my class I am making sure I am out of it at the same time I offer my pencil box to the girl so she could bash the mean one.
The teacher scolded the ones who didn't do the homework I am there showing her how I completed all exercises of the chapter.
Aarav hearing the orders wrong and I am buying the right flowers for the customers taking the wrong ones. I don't want that to make him feel like a failure it wasn't his fault he-" my hands paused when I dabbed the corner of Sahil's lips.

I slowly glanced up at him.
His smile was gone even a part of him was gone when he scorned he removed my hands as if they burned him.

"was he your stepbrother?" I asked staring at my hands.

He drifted further away

"Aarav was my foster brother the real son of Nigam Family I was just brought up to fill his place as heir when his very own father disposed him of deeming him as unworthy representative of his large whatever fu** estate" Sahil said spitefully.

Grandma told me about Aarav's parents were rich and they abandoned him because of his hearing and stuttering condition but I didn't know it was Sahil's family.

I didn't know what to say I can't say anything when both of the love of my life was mentioned in the same conversation both of them being the cause of the other one's misery

"Your hate is unjustified for him," I said lightly. Before I would have shouted at him for hurting Aarav I would have been disgusted with him. Right now I am just trying to understand him and his hatred.

"It isn't" He turned to me eyes burning with anger
"I hated him for everything in my life. He was loved more by my mother for whom I tried everything to get her attention. And she only avoided me like a plague."

"The mother is here is to blamed not you not Aarav" I defended

"He was loved and admired by my classmates for them yesterday I was the popular one. Fame didn't matter but still, he took again something that was mine
Even my sister praised about him wishing to duet with him playing the violin. He became her idol.
And at last, the girl who made my heart race for the first time also happened to love him" he said looking straight into my eyes.

I blinked looking away, I can't I just can't.

I swallowed, "I don't love you"

"Why do you act like you do then?"

I stayed quiet then interrupted the heavy silence, "do you regret it?"

He answered after a few seconds, "Regret hating him?"

"Bullying him? torturing him? he didn't deserve Sahil please.. he was so innocent he never hurt anyone he was an angel Sahil! He didn't deserve to die this way you have to feel regret just a tinge of it but you have to feel some regret " I literally pleaded him.

"But I deserved it right? I deserved it Serra to be hit abused cursed like that. I traded his place but it felt otherwise I was cheated he stole my fate! Even now, he committed suicide, and hearing his death my oh well his mother too committed. I still feel cheated and jealous of him of his life.
I still hate him. At least it's better than mine he has people remembering him loving him but who will cry for me? who will remember me if I am gone? My absence won't be any better than my presence. I don't regret anything because if given the second chance I would still hate and blame him again" he replied with no mercy no sympathy like a Devil he was.

I got up my shoulders shook with sobs.

It was drizzling suddenly.

I wiped my face the water blurring my vision.

He remained seated in the same position staring in front at nothing.

"I can't love you I can never love you Sahil," I said this time strongly with conviction.

If things were different if you were different I wish I could but it ain't I don't think I can ever make myself accept you.
.
"You won't be the first one" he rested his head back against the bench and covered his face with his arm shutting the world.

" but I don't-

"Serra leave me alone I am tired, you are no fun anymore," he said in a hoarse voice.

I don't hate you

I turned around glancing at him one last time then slowly walked away.
•
•
•

It was raining heavily but who cares

I walked in the rain my head down, in a distance, a car was honking I ignored it.

"Ahh, Serra!" Someone shouted.

I looked back.

Dhruv's car stopped right beside me he craned out the window," just like I thought mindlessly walking in the rain ignoring traffic rules who could it be but Ms. Newton, get in before you get drowned away"

I got inside in the backseat, didn't have any energy to argue. I slumped back covering my face with my arm too.

"Do you want me to drop you at your home?" Asked sounding awkward now.

"Nah.. anywhere aside from home" I mumbled. I removed my arm and looked at Dhruv suddenly remembering something,
"you have the pd?"

"Yes...?" Dhruv said cautiously.

Well you shouldn't have

Sahil's life itself is a punishment. It can't get any worse but you Dhruv your Karma is still on pending.

•••

I didn't mean to make it so sad

Vote people we be reaching the ending soon.

Love you all!